經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第17章9

“A phone call, sir.”
“For me? Here? Hey, but who knows where I am?”
One of his minds raced. The other dawdled lovingly over the food it was still shovelling in.
“Excuse me if I carry on, won’t you?” said his eating head and carried on.
There were now so many people after him he’d lost count. He shouldn’t have made such a conspicuous entrance. Hell, why not though, he thought. How do you know you’re having fun if there’s no one watching you have it?
“Maybe someone here tipped off the Galactic Police,” said Trillian. “Everyone saw you come in.”
“You mean they want to arrest me over the phone?” said Zaphod, “Could be. I’m a pretty dangerous dude when I’m concerned.”
“Yeah,” said a voice from under the table, “you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel.”
“Hey, what is this, Judgment Day?” snapped Zaphod.
“Do we get to see that as well?” asked Arthur nervously.
“I’m in no hurry,” muttered Zaphod, “OK, so who’s the cat on the phone?” He kicked Ford. “Hey get up there, kid,” he said to him, “I may need you.”
“I am not,” said the waiter, “personally acquainted with the metal gentleman in question, sir…”
“Metal?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Did you say metal?”
“Yes, sir. I said that I am not personally acquainted with the metal gentleman in question…”
“OK, carry on.”
“But I am informed that he has been awaiting your return for a considerable number of millennia. It seems you left here somewhat precipitately.”
“Left here?” said Zaphod, “are you being strange? We only just arrived here.”
“Indeed, sir,” persisted the waiter doggedly, “but before you arrived here, sir, I understand that you left here.”
Zaphod tried this in one brain, then in the other.
“You’re saying,” he said, “that before we arrived here, we left here?”
This is going to be a long night, thought the waiter.
“Precisely, sir,” he said.

“一個電話，先生。”
“找我的？在這兒？嘿，可是誰會知道我在這兒？”
他的一個腦子迅速思考着，另一個則依然愛戀地關注着他正大口大口吃進嘴裏的食物。
“請原諒我繼續進餐，行嗎？”他正在吃東西的那個腦袋說，然焉繼續進餐。
想抓他的人有那麼多，他已經數不過來了。他本來不該以這麼惹人注目的方式闖進來見鬼，爲什麼不？他想。如果沒有人看到你玩得開心的話，你怎麼知道自己玩得開心呢’
“也許這裏有什麼人向銀河系警察告了密，”崔莉恩說，“人人都看見你進來的。”
“你是說他們想在電話那頭逮捕我？”贊福德說，“可能吧。如果被逼到絕境，我會是個相當危險的傢伙。”
“是的，”一個聲音從桌子下面傳來，“你會馬上土崩瓦解，進成碎片。速度之快，別人會被碎片傷着的。”
“嘿，這箅什麼話，難道今天是末日審判日？”贊福德厲聲說，
“你也這麼認爲，”阿瑟緊張地問。
“我可沒那麼急切地奔赴末日審判日。”贊福德喃喃地說，“好吧，咱們來瞧瞧，電話那頭究竟是何方神聖？”他踢了踢福特，“嘿，快起來，夥計，”他對他說，“我可能會需要你。”
“我本人，”侍者說，“並不認識你們所說的那位金屬先生，先生。”
“金屬？”
“是的，先生。”
“你是說金屬嗎？”
“是的，先生。我是說我本人並不認識你們所說的那位金屬先生！”
“好的，繼續說下去。”
“但是我被告知，他在這裏等您回來已經有很多個千年了。看來當初您離開得有些突然、”
“離開！”贊福德說，“你有毛病嗎，我們纔剛剛到這裏。”
“確實是這樣，先生，”侍者周執地堅持說，“可是按照我的理解，您在到達之前離開了這裏，先生。”
贊福德在一個腦子裏思考這個問題，然後叉換成另外一個腦子，
“你的意思是，”他說，“在我到這裏來之前，我們已經離開了這裏，”
這將是一個漫長難熬的夜晚，侍者心裏想。
“完全正確，先生。”他說。