《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 87 (204):悠閒時光

Now my days are divided into natural thirds.

現在我每天的活動，分成自自然然的三等分。

I spend my mornings with Wayan at her shop, laughing and eating. I spend my afternoons with Ketut the medicine man, talking and drinking coffee. I spend my evenings in my lovely garden, either hanging out by myself and reading a book, or sometimes talking with Yudhi, who comes over to play his guitar. Every morning, I meditate while the sun comes up over the rice fields, and before bedtime I speak to my four spirit brothers and ask them to watch over me while I sleep.

早晨和大姐待在她的店裏，談笑，吃飯。下午去賴爺家，聊天，喝咖啡。晚上在我的美麗庭園，獨自消磨時間和閱讀，或時而與過來彈吉他的尤弟聊天。每天早晨，我在太陽從稻田一方升起之時禪坐，睡前我跟我的四兄弟說話，請他們在我睡覺時守護我。

I've been here only a few weeks and I feel a rather mission-accomplished sensation already. The task in Indonesia was to search for balance, but I don't feel like I'm searching for anything anymore because the balance has somehow naturally come into place. It's not that I'm becoming Balinese (no more than I ever became Italian or Indian) but only this—I can feel my own peace, and I love the swing of my days between easeful devotional practices and the pleasures of beautiful landscape, dear friends and good food. I've been praying a lot lately, comfortably and frequently. Most of the time, I find that I want to pray when I'm on my bicycle, riding home from Ketut's house through the monkey forest and the rice terraces in the dusky late afternoons. I pray, of course, not to be hit by another bus, or jumped by a monkey or bit by a dog, but that's just superfluous; most of my prayers are expressions of sheer gratitude for the fullness of my contentment. I have never felt less burdened by myself or by the world.

我在這裏只待了幾星期，卻已經有任務完成的感覺。在印尼的任務是尋求平衡，而我卻不再覺得自己在尋求任何東西，因爲平衡已自然到來。我並未變成巴厘島人（如同我從未變成意大利人或印度人），而是感覺到自身的平靜，我喜歡讓自己的日子在舒適的禪修和愉悅的美景、摯友與美食之間擺盪。近來我時常禱告，自在而頻繁。多數時候，我發現自己在傍晚時分從賴爺家穿越猴林與稻田騎車回家時很想祈禱。當然，我祈禱不再被巴士撞上，或被猴子撲上來，或被狗咬，但這些都無關緊要。我的禱告多半純粹是對自己的心滿意足表達感激之情，我未曾感到有過如此卸下自己或世界的重擔這般的輕盈。

I keep remembering one of my Guru's teachings about happiness. She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't, you will leak away your innate contentment. It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.

我一直記得我的導師對快樂的教誨。她說人們普遍以爲快樂全憑運氣，運氣好的話，快樂就像好天氣般降臨在你身上。但這不是快樂的運作方式，快樂是個人努力的結果。你去爭取，追求，堅持，有時甚至周遊世界找尋它。你必須積極參與自己的各種福氣，一旦達到快樂境界，你永遠不得懈怠，你得堅守它，永遠朝這快樂努力游去，浮在快樂頂端，否則你將漏失內在的滿足。患難時祈禱並不難，但危機結束時繼續祈禱則是一種封存過程，幫助靈魂緊緊抓住自己的成就。

Recalling these teachings as I ride my bike so freely in the sunset through Bali, I keep making prayers that are really vows, presenting my state of harmony to God and saying, "This is what I would like to hold on to. Please help me memorize this feeling of contentment and help me always support it." I'm putting this happiness in a bank somewhere, not merely FDIC protected but guarded by my four spirit brothers, held there as insurance against future trials in life. This is a practice I've come to call "Diligent Joy." As I focus on Diligent Joy, I also keep remembering a simple idea my friend Darcey told me once—that all the sorrow and trouble of this world is caused by unhappy people. Not only in the big global Hitler-'n'-Stalin picture, but also on the smallest personal level. Even in my own life, I can see exactly where my episodes of unhappiness have brought suffering or distress or (at the very least) inconvenience to those around me. The search for contentment is, therefore, not merely a self-preserving and self-benefiting act, but also a generous gift to the world. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people.

我在巴厘島的夕陽中，自由自在騎着單車，回想着這些教誨，不斷禱告（其實是起誓），將自己的和諧狀態呈現給神，說："我想抓住這些。請協助我牢記這種滿足感，協助我永遠給它支持。"我把這快樂儲存起來，由我的四兄弟看守保護，以備日後之需。我將這種練習稱作"孜孜不倦的喜樂"。爲"孜孜不倦的喜樂"而努力之時，我也不斷回想起朋友達西告訴過我的一個簡單想法——世間的一切憂傷與煩擾，都是由不快樂的人所造成的。不僅是像希特勒等讓全球爲之動盪的層次如此，在最小的個人層次來說亦是如此。即便我在自己的生活中，也確實看見自己在不快樂時所帶給周遭人的痛苦、煩惱或不便。因此，追尋滿足不僅是自保與自利的行爲，也是獻給世界的厚禮。丟棄一切痛苦，讓你離開邪路，使你不再是自己或他人的障礙，此時的你始可隨心所欲服務他人並與他人同歡。