《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 48 (102):那就想念他

"He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over, Groceries. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You're like a dog at the dump, baby—you're just lickin' at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you're not careful, that can's gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it."

“或許他是。你的問題在於不懂這詞兒的含義。大家以爲精神伴侶是天作之合，每個人都想要。可是真正的精神伴侶是一面鏡子，他使你看到讓你退縮的東西，他使你注意到自己，讓你能改變自己的生活。真正的精神伴侶可能是你遇上的最重要的人，因爲他們卸下你的防備，把你給打醒。但是跟精神伴侶一輩子住在一起？不，太痛苦了。精神伴侶之所以走進你的生命，只是爲了向你展現你的另一面，而後離你而去，讓你感謝神。你的問題是，這回你沒法放手。食品雜貨，都結束了。大衛的目的是搖醒你，驅使你離開必須離開的婚姻，稍稍撕裂你的自我，讓你看見自己的障礙與執迷，打開你的心讓新的光線進入，使你絕望、失控，不得不改變生活，而後在引薦精神導師給你後轉身離去。這是他的職責，他乾得很好，可是現在都結束了。問題是，你不相信這段關係壽命短暫。孩子，你就像垃圾場裏的狗——舔着一隻空鐵罐，想從中取得更多養分。你若不謹慎點，鐵罐將永遠卡住你的鼻子，讓你活得悲慘兮兮。所以算了吧。”

"But I love him."

“可是我愛他。”

"So love him."

“那就愛他。”

"But I miss him."

“但我想念他。”

"So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. You're just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you'll really be alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she's really alone. But here's what you gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using right now to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum there, an open spot—a door-way. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in—God will rush in—and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go."

“那就想念他。每次想起他，給他愛和光，然後就算了。你只是擔心放掉最後的大衛，就真的變成孤伶伶一個人，小莉?吉爾伯特怕得要命，擔心真的孤伶伶一個人的時候會發生什麼事。但是，食品雜貨，你得了解，假如你清除內心那塊現在用來癡戀那傢伙的空間，你心裏將留下一個空白，一個開放的地方——一個門洞。你猜宇宙會怎麼處理這個門洞？宇宙會迅速出動——神會迅速出動——讓你的心裝滿超越想象的愛。因此，別再用大衛堵住這個門洞。放手吧。”

"But I wish me and David could—"

“可是我希望我和大衛可以——”

He cuts me off. "See, now that's your problem. You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be."

他打斷了我，“瞧，這是你的問題。你抱了太多的希望，孩子。別再把你的許願骨戴在本來應當是脊椎骨的地方。”

This line gives me the first laugh of the day.

這句話使我發出當天的頭一次笑聲。

Then I ask Richard, "So how long will it be before all this grieving passes?"

接着我問理查：“讓整個悲痛過去，還得花多少時間？”

"You want an exact date?"

“你要個確切日期？”

"Yes."

“是的。”