雙語情感美文：你現在適合談戀愛嗎

摘錄：媒體宣傳、以往經歷或身邊情侶很可能誤導你對浪漫戀愛的理解。在你衝動想要戀愛前，不如清醒認識到目前的不切實際性，理智做到三思而後行——你現在所渴望的，未必就是你需要的。

More often than not, you encounter days where you just want someone in your life. This can be triggered by watching romantic comedies, reading an article on the internet or seeing your best friend happily settled with someone. Yes, they come, and they're perfectly natural, but are you sure that's what you really want?

常常在某些瞬間，你莫名渴望生活中能出現另一半。或許只因剛剛看過幾部浪漫喜劇、在網上讀到某些文字，抑或因爲看到好朋友都喜滋滋牽上了手。他們是如此自然而又完美地出現在一起。可是，你確定這當真就是自己想要的嗎?

1. You're just in love with the concept of love。

Cliché but this is most likely the situation if you think a relationship will save your life's monotony. People always have a romanticized notion of what having a boyfriend or girlfriend would make them feel like. You toy with the idea of having someone constantly with you, the dates and the candlelit dinners, but the exhilaration of having one only lasts in its early stages. If you expect too much from it you might jump into the first potential relationship you find and end up disappointed。

　　你只是喜歡愛情本身的美好。

雖說陳詞濫調，但也確實如此：如果你以爲戀愛能救你擺脫無聊乏味，那必定只是喜歡“戀愛”字面的蘊意。人們對談男女朋友總是充滿過於浪漫的幻想，覺得身邊會一直有人陪伴、能享受數不盡的約會和燭光晚餐。其實，這種情調只會短暫出現在戀愛初期。要是你懷着過高期望一頭扎進去，最後只能失望收尾。

2. Do you even know yourself well enough already?

　　你已經足夠了解自己了嗎?

It's important to know yourself before becoming part of a relationship. If you don't stand for anything, you'll find yourself unconsciously giving too much and questioning if it was even enough。

談戀愛前一定要對自己足夠了解。如果你毫無立場，到時候會不自覺地無限付出，還一直困惑自己到底付出得夠不夠。

Set standards on the people you want to be in your life and how you want to be treated. Know what you're worth and eventually, you'll make him or her believe it too。

生活中要出現另一半時，先定下雙方相處原則。你要清楚自己的價值，然後讓對方相信你有這樣的價值。

3. You just got out of one recently。

　　你剛剛結束一段戀情

When you've just broken up with your ex, finding a rebound would seem like the most convenient solution. It's an easy distraction from the past, all of a sudden your attention is claimed by someone else。

若你剛和前任分手，找個備胎貌似再簡單不過了。你的注意力突然轉移到了另一個人身上，自然更容易忘記過去。

However, this shortcut to recovery is also short-lived. If you're not genuinely ready, it will show. Give it time, enjoy being single and save someone else from the heart ache。

可是，這條捷徑恢復得快，結束得也快。如果你還沒有真正準備好，後面會給你顏色看。所以，慢慢來，先享受好單身生活，別再輕易傷害到另一個人。

4. Youcan't even make yourself happy。

　　你甚至都無法使自己快樂

Some people assume that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is the ticket to happiness. They think that it will make things lighter and easier because there's someone there to make them feel content. Though relationships may have this effect, you have to note that if your happiness is dependent on someone else and this person doesn't meet those expectations, you'll end up more miserable than you started。

有些人想當然以爲，只要有男朋友或女朋友就會過得快樂。他們以爲，到時候一切會變得容易而輕鬆，因爲身邊會有人安慰呵護他們。當然，戀愛確實能帶來這些好處，但請別忘了：如果你把幸福託付給別人，一旦這個人達不到你的期望，你會超級受傷、悔不當初。

It's your job to make yourself feel happy and fulfilled, with or without a partner. A relationship simply adds value to you but it shouldn't be the one that completes you。

所以，不論有沒有戀人，快樂和滿足都只能靠你自己創造。戀愛只能爲你增光添彩，卻無法替代完整的你。

5. Will it fit in your priorities?

　　戀愛是你的當務之急嗎?

If you're a person who has a vision and a plan, this is a good question to ask yourself. How will a romantic relationship fit in with your priorities? If you know that right now, you're still building your career and there's a lot at stake, is it the right time to have one? While you're finishing one project after another, having a boyfriend or girlfriend is a nice to have that you think about during your breaks。

如果你有自己的目標和規劃，那很有必要捫心自問：一段浪漫的戀愛是否是當務之急?如果你確信如此，別忘了你正在努力打拼事業，百事待興，這時候談戀愛適合嗎?你正項目接項目地忙活，喘息時想想身邊能有個伴兒是件非常美好的事。

If you're fully aware that it's not one of your main concerns, there's a high probability that you'll take your partner for granted. It would be more beneficial and practical for you to allocate your time to what's important to you as of the moment and avoid disappointing someone else。

如果你非常清楚這不是你的重中之重，那就算有戀人，你很可能也不會特別投入。這種情況下，倒不如把時間用來做當下最重要的任務，不要徒勞使他人失望罷。

It's easy to be blinded by the media, past experiences and couples that you encounter about what a romantic relationship will bring you. But before you get consumed by your desire to have one or worse, be brought down by its current unattainability, be wise enough to think twice about it, what you want right now might not be what you need。

媒體宣傳、以往經歷或身邊情侶很可能誤導你對浪漫戀愛的理解。在你衝動想要戀愛前，不如清醒認識到目前的不切實際性，理智做到三思而後行——你現在所渴望的，未必就是你需要的。