英語搞笑笑話6則
下面是本站小編整理的英語搞笑笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
英語搞笑笑話：Rope or Ox?
The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home.
But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home!
I told you I had bad luck, didn't I? the man sighed, The trouble is that I didn't notice there was an ox at the other end of that rope.
繩子還是公牛?
在監獄裏，一個人問新來的犯人爲什麼被關進來。新來的犯人回答說：我想我真是倒黴。幾天前我在街上走的時候，看到一根髒繩子，以爲沒人要了，便撿起來帶了回家。
但是，撿一根繩子帶回家並不犯法啊!
我告訴過你我倒黴了吧?那個人嘆了口氣，麻煩的就是我沒有注意到繩子的那一頭還有一頭公牛。
英語搞笑笑話：
Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but never boiled over-just simmered. On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.
Upon his return he exclaimed, Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!
弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了，富有而健康。他是個終生單身漢。他曾追求過很多女孩，但從不過熱----見好就收。一天他突發奇想，決定四處走走，去看看他那些接近一打的舊時女友。
他回來即嘆道：噓!謝天謝地幸虧我沒娶那些女人中的任何一個。如今她們都成寡婦了!
英語搞笑笑話：
A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. Can I help you? The man said, Sure. I've come to install the phone.
一個年輕人剛剛開始做生意，就租了一個漂亮的辦公室。一天，他坐在辦公室裏，看到有一個人在外面，於是他就裝作生意很忙的樣子，拿起電話胡吹亂侃，還不停的甩出幾個大數字，好像在談一筆大買賣。
到了最後，他終於掛了電話，問來訪的人，有事兒嘛?那個人回答，我是來給你安裝電話的。
英語搞笑笑話：
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
乘客輕拍了一下出租車司機的肩膀,想問個問題. 司機大叫起來, 車也失去了控制, 幾乎撞上一輛公車, 還上了便道, 在還差幾釐米就撞上商店櫥窗時終於停了下來.
The driver said, Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me! The passenger apologized and said, I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. The driver replied, Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.
司機說,夥計,別再這麼幹了. 你把我嚇破膽了!乘客抱歉地說, 我沒想到拍你一下就嚇成這樣. 司機說,對不起,也不全是你的錯. 今天是我第一天開出租. 以前25年裏我一直開殯葬車.
英語搞笑笑話：萬能的聖誕老人並非啥都知道
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
一個女孩爬到聖誕老人的膝蓋上，聖誕老人例行公事的問：“今年聖誕節你想要什麼呢?”
孩子瞪大眼睛驚訝的望着聖誕老人一分鐘都沒講話，然後喘着氣說到：“你沒收到我的電子郵件嗎?(我想要什麼都寫上面了，萬能的聖誕老人咋能不知道捏)”
英語搞笑笑話：Psychiatrist 精神病醫生
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!
傑瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在牀下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時間，”醫生說，“每週來三次，我會治好你。”“費用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”傑瑞答道。六個月後醫生和傑瑞在街上相遇了，“爲什麼你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎麼做到的?”“他讓我把牀腿鋸掉。現在那沒人了!”
