搞笑英文笑話

下面是本站小編整理的搞笑英文笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英文笑話一：a King from a Knave

George Ⅲ asked the once wellknown wit, Horne Tooke,whether he could play Majesty, replied Tooke, I am a mere childwhere cards are concerned. I cannot even tell a King from a Knave.

喬治三世問一度大名鼎鼎的才子霍恩·圖克，會不會玩紙牌。陛下，圖克回答說：在玩紙牌方面，我只不過是幼兒園的水平。我甚至分不清國王和無賴。

　　英文笑話二：婚禮上有長官在

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.""But ,officer, I ….""I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."

大街上的一個超速駕駛者被警察攔住了。“但是警官”這個人說道，“我可以解釋的”。“保持安靜”，警察突然說道。“我將把你送往監獄，直到長官回來。“但是，警察，我……”。“我說過了保持安靜，你要到監獄了。”幾小時後，警察向監獄裏看了看說道“算你運氣好，因爲我們的長官正在他女兒的婚禮上。他將帶着一個愉快的心情回來的。”“你確定”在牢房裏的這個人說道。“我就是新郎呀”。

　　英文笑話三：Goethe's ToleranceGoe

the was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, I'll never make way for a fool. But I will, with that Goethe retreated aside.

一次，歌德正在魏瑪一個公園的一條狹窄小道上散步，碰巧他遇見一個對他懷有敵意的評論家。兩人都停了下來，彼此相互對視。接着評論家說道：我從來不給傻瓜讓路。 可我給，說完歌德退到了一邊。

　　英文笑話四：睡前禱告詞

Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."

Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"

And Julie replied, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"

朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。“禱告上帝，”她說，“讓那不勒斯成爲意大利的首都吧。讓那不勒斯成爲意大利的首都吧。”

媽媽打斷她說：“朱莉葉，你爲什麼求上帝讓那不勒斯成爲意大利的首都呢?”

朱莉葉回答說：“因爲我在地理考卷上是這麼寫的。”

　　英文笑話五：幾月走的

When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.

The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?"

傑克給人鞠躬，飛快地一點頭，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂禮貌。於是便有好心的人教他說，“下次鞠躬的時候，你就在心裏數：正月、二月、……一直數到十二月爲止，然後再直起身來。這樣，禮節就周全了。”

第二天，傑克見到他的叔叔，他便如法炮製。這躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一驚，趕緊逃開了。傑克擡頭一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便問過路人：“我叔叔幾月走的?”