英文爆笑笑話6篇
下面小編給大家整理的英文爆笑笑話六篇，希望大家會喜歡。
英文爆笑笑話一： Lose One Pound減掉一磅
I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."
Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"
我稱讚我的一個同事減肥10磅。可是，我禁不住誇耀說我17歲時，體重225磅，而目前體重是224磅。我還說：“這對我這樣年齡的男子來說，是不錯的。”
一個女子聽到了這些話，她說道：“你是說你花了這麼長時間才減了1磅?”
英文爆笑笑話二：The doctor lives downstairs醫生住在樓下
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
“醫生”她衝進屋後大聲說道。“我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什麼病。”
他從頭到腳打量打量她，然後大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”
英文爆笑笑話三：它們是從美國直接帶來的
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行櫃檯，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最後實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”
英文爆笑笑話四：The King and His Stories
Once there was a king. He likes to write stories, but his stories were not good. As people were afraid of him, they all said his stories were good.
One day the king showed his stories to a famous writer. He waited the writer to praise these stories. But the writer said his stories were so bad that he should throw them into fire. The king got very angry with him and sent him to prison.
After some time, the king set him free. Again he showed him some of his new stories and asked what he thought of them.
After reading them, the writer at once turned to the soldiers and said: “ Take me back to prison, please.”
國王和他的故事
從前有一個國王，他喜歡寫故事，但是他寫的故事很不好。人們怕他，都說他的故事好。有一天國王把他的故事給一名作家看，他想要作家讚揚他的這些故事，而作家說他的故事是如此的差以至於該扔進火裏。國王很生氣，把他送到監獄。
過了些日子，國王給了作家自由。國王重新將自己的一些新故事給作家看並問他感覺怎麼樣。
作家看了之後立刻轉身對士兵說着;“請把我送回監獄
英文爆笑笑話五：Buy the ice
Once a simpleton’s wife told him to buy some ice.
Two hours later, he didn’t come back. She wanted to know why he didn’t come back and went out to have a look. She saw he was standing in the sun at the gate and watching the ice melting.
“What’s the matter?” She asked him. “Why don’t you bring it in?”
“I saw the ice was wet and I was afraid that you would scold me so I’m running it dry.” The simpleton answered.
從前有一個笨人的妻子讓她的丈夫買幾塊冰。
兩個小時後，他還沒回來。
她想知道他爲什麼沒回來，就出去看了看，發現她的丈夫在門口站着，在太陽下曬冰，看着冰融化。
她問他：“怎麼啦?你爲什麼不把它拿進來?”
“我看見冰是溼的，恐怕你會訓斥我，因此，我正在把它曬乾。”笨人回答道。
英文爆笑笑話六：You may put my beard on again
A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.
"Two pence," said the man.
"No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."
The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.
"A penny." said the barber.
"I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."
賣掃帚的人和理髮師
一個賣掃帚的人去一家理髮店修面.理髮師向他買了一把掃帚.當理髮師給他修完面後,問了一下掃帚的價錢.
賣掃帚的人說:"兩便士"
"不,不"理髮師說,"我只出一便士.如果你認爲不夠的話,可以把掃帚拿回去."
賣掃帚的人取回了掃帚,隨後問修面要付多少錢.
賣掃帚的人說:"我只能給你半個便士,如果你認爲不夠的話,你可以把鬍子再替我裝上."
