英語爆笑幽默笑話6篇

下面是本站小編整理的英語爆笑幽默笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語爆笑幽默笑話：

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display.

一個畫家問畫廊的主人有沒有人對他正在展覽的畫作感興趣。

I've got good news and bad news, the owner replied.

我有個好消息，又有個壞消息要告訴你，主人說。

The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings.

好消息就是一位紳士向你的畫作詢價並想知道你死後那些畫會不會升值。當我告訴他會以後，他便買下了你全部的15幅作品。

That's wonderful! the artist exclaimed, What's the bad news?. With concern, the gallery owner replied, The guy was your doctor.

那太好了!畫家驚歎道，那壞消息呢?主人面露關切之色，回答道：那個人是你的醫生。

　　英語爆笑幽默笑話：

A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.

Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.

Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?

一位年輕的母親認爲，世界上還有許多受飢餓的人，浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑麪包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬塗在麪包上。

母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說道，露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃麪包加黃油，或者麪包加果醬，從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬。

露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然後她柔聲說：您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎?

　　英語爆笑幽默笑話：

Patient:I'm so frightened, this is my first operation.

Surgeon:I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too.

病人：我很害怕，這是我第一次動手術。

外科醫生：我完全理解你的心情。這也是我第一次動手術。

　　英語爆笑幽默笑話：Class, Lass and Ass

Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day,

so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow.

A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the c in the word class. The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the c erased--calmly walked up and erased the l in lass, looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.

班級、情人和蠢驢

湯姆教授打算第二天與他的學生見面，因此他在黑板上寫道：湯姆教授明天將和大家見面。

一位學生看到這條通知後，覺得展示自己幽默感的機會來了，就走上前，將class中的c擦掉，將意思變爲湯姆教授明天將和情婦見面。教授聽到笑聲，轉過身走回來，看了看那位學生，又看看被改動過的通知，不動聲色地走上前，把lass中的l擦掉，將意思改爲湯姆教授明天將和蠢驢見面。看了看那位目瞪口呆的學生，教授揚長而去。

英語爆笑幽默笑話：可憐的男人

A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.

Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"

The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."

Bartender: "That should make you happy."

The man: "No, the month is up today!"

一個男人坐在酒吧裏，傷心至極。

酒吧招待：“你怎麼了?跟老婆鬧矛盾了?”

男人：“我們吵了一架，她說一個月都不跟我說話。”

酒吧招待：“那你應該高興纔是啊!”

男人：“不，今天是這個月的最後一天。”

　　英語爆笑幽默笑話：太黑了，看不見

After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."

晚飯後，父親和母親都忙着和客人玩麻將，這時母親忽然想起點兒事來，便對正在看電視的兒子說道：“寶貝，去看看廚房裏的燈是不是還開着呢?” 過了一會兒，兒子回來說：“媽，廚房裏太黑了，我根本就看不見。”