英語幽默爆笑笑話7篇

下面是本站小編整理的英語幽默爆笑笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語幽默爆笑笑話：Class and Ass

Professor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today.

A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out thec.

Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of the joke，rubbed out thel.

班和笨驢

格拉斯哥的勞裏教授在門上貼了這樣一個通知：勞裏教授今天不會他的班。

一個學生讀了通知後，擦掉了字母c。

後來勞裏教授來了，也想開開玩笑，他擦掉了字母。

　　英語幽默爆笑笑話：

A store manager heard a clerk tell a ，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon. Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week. Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：Never， never， never say we are out of anythingsay we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?

Rain. said the clerk.

一個商店經理聽見一個店員對顧客說：不，夫人，這會兒沒有，一時半會兒看來也不會有。經理驚恐萬分地跑到顧客跟前說：當然，馬上就會有的。我們上週訂了貨。然後經理把店員拉到一邊：千萬，千萬，千萬不要說我們沒有什麼說我們已經訂了貨，貨馬上就到。現在你說她要買什麼?

雨，店員說。

　　英語幽默爆笑笑話：Raccoons

Part of my job at the state fish and wildlife department is to lend equipment to residents for trapping and relocating raccoons. A man who had been successful at capturing one of the animals called to ask whether raccoons mated for life. He said his daughter was worried that they might have separated a monogamous couple.

I don't know why she's so concerned, he added. She's been married three times.

浣熊

我在州政府魚類和野生動物部門工作時，負責向居民們出借捕浣熊的裝備。一個人捕獲了一隻獵物，他打電話來詢問浣熊是否終生只有一個伴侶。他說他的女兒擔心他們可能拆散了一對終生伴侶。

我不知道她爲什麼這麼關心這事，他補充說，她自己已經結過三次婚了。

　　英語幽默爆笑笑話：Creative

Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.

I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.

創造性

第一次求職時，我意識到在列舉我所具備的爲數不多的條件時，得有點創造性。當問及我是否受過其它的培訓時，我老實地回答說我花了三年時間學計算機程序設計課。我得到了那份工作。

我沒有提到那門功課我重複學了三年才考及格。

　　英語幽默爆笑笑話：Is he dying?

A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.

Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.

一個男人坐在酒吧裏痛哭流淚。一個朋友走進來問他爲何如此傷心。那人哭着說：剛纔醫生告訴我，在我的餘生裏都要吃這些藥片。

他的朋友很輕鬆地指出，許多人一輩子每天都要吃藥。當然，男人回答說：但是他只給了我十片。

　　英語幽默爆笑笑話：The blonde and the farmer

There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。

一個金髮女郎，是那麼噁心的黃色笑話她把頭髮染成紅色。笑話停了下來，她覺得很好，她在農村的一個搭車的星期六下午。而在這旅程，她注意到一羣羊，停下車來把......。

　　英語幽默爆笑笑話：太晚了 It's Too Late

A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

一個醫科學生被要求說明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”

一分鐘後，這個學生問教授：“我可以改正我的回答嗎?”教授看看手錶，說：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒鐘以前死了。”