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英語小笑話短篇故事閱讀

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笑話(анекдот)是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。本站小編分享短篇英語小笑話故事,希望可以幫助大家!

英語小笑話短篇故事閱讀
  短篇英語小笑話故事:疼痛之極

A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. "Don’t bother Doctor," said the man. "I' ve been through a lot worse."

一個傷痕累累的建築工人衝進了一家醫院,醫生馬上讓護士去拿止痛藥,“不必麻煩您了,醫生。”那人說道,“比這更痛的傷我都經歷過了。”

"More painful than this?" the doctor asked.

“比現在的傷還要痛嗎?”醫生問。

"I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM,the thing snapped shut on my balls."

“我先說說讓我感到還不是最痛苦的那件事吧,一天我在打獵的時候突然想要大便,於是就脫掉褲子蹲在地上,不料被捕熊的夾子絆倒了,那東西夾住了我的皋丸。”

The doctor winced, "That’s awful. But tell me, what could be worse?"

醫生聽後顫抖了一下,說道“太可怕了,那告訴我什麼又是最痛苦的事呢?”

"When I reached the end of the chain."

“當我摸到鎖鏈盡端的時候。”

  短篇英語小笑話故事:教育階段

The dean of Engineering had once walked into a class, and said "Good Morning.”

一天工程系的主任走進一個班,說道:“早上好。”

The whole class chorused" Good Morning”

全班齊聲回覆:“早上好。”

"Hi,you are freshmen aren’t you?" he asked.

“你們是大一的吧?”主任問道。

One student bolder than the others asked him how he knew.

一個膽子比較大的同學問主任是怎麼知道的。

"Well,”he said. "When I say‘Good Morning' to a class,if they are freshmen they say Good Morning' too. If they are sophomores,they quietly fold their papers away,and look at me. A class of juniors will look at me over the top of their papers, and then get back to them. A class of seniors will ignore my greeting, and keep reading the papers. When I say `Good Morning' to a class of graduate students, they write it down.”

“嗯,”主任說,“如果是大一的新生,當我向他們問早上好的時候,他們也一定會說‘早上好’的。如果他們是大二的學生,他們會輕輕地合上課本,然後集體望着我。大三的學生則會從書本上擡起頭看我一眼,然後馬上又繼續讀書了。大四的學生則會對我視而不見,繼續看書。至於研究生班的學生,我向他們問早上好,他們就會把這句話寫在筆記上。”

  短篇英語小笑話故事:死在波蘭人手裏

A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar, telling all the polish jokes we knew; boy what a feast! Anyway,I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain. While I was in there, a big guy came in and said to me,"Hey pal, I’m Polish and I don’t like you telling all those Polish jokes!”

幾天前,我和幾個朋友在酒吧裏講所知道的關於波蘭人的笑話。大家都笑得東倒西歪。過了一會兒,我進了洗手間去方便,這時一個壯漢走到我身邊說:“嘿,夥計,我就是波蘭人,我討厭剛纔你說的那些有關波蘭人的笑話。”

So I said,“"ell,they' re not against you,pal , just against anyone in Poland.”“My mother is in Poland!”He screams,and pulls out a razor. Boy was I scared! I was sure he would have killed me if he had found a place to plug it in!

我回答說:“行了,我又不是針對你說的,只不過是說那些在波蘭的人。”“我媽媽就在波蘭!”他吼道,然後抽出一把剃刀,我被嚇壞了!我敢肯定,如果他認爲我身上有什麼地方可以插進他手中那把剃刀的話,他一定會殺了我的!


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