10種口味奇葩的東西(下)

Ramen Candy

5.豬肉拉麪味糖果

Ahhh, the comfort of a nice hot bowl of ramen on a cold winter's day. The only problem with ramen is that it's not super-portable. One company in Japan has figured out a way to solve this problem. If you are Picturing some sort of Thermos for soup-on-the-go, sadly, this isn't the solution they came up with. Instead, the company is offering hard candy that tastes like pork ramen.

啊，冬天能吃上一碗超讚的熱拉麪真的好爽啊。拉麪唯一的缺陷就是不易攜帶，但是日本一家公司想出瞭解決辦法。你腦海中出現的大概是保溫杯那樣的東西，但是，他們想出的辦法有點不太一樣——這家公司發明了一種味道像豬肉拉麪的硬糖。

How the heck did this happen? Nissen, a mail-order company in Japan, teamed up with the Pine Co. candy company to sponsor a contest where customers proposed new candy flavors. Out of the approximately 6,000 contest entries, contest judges selected "tonkatsu ramen" as the winner, apparently because it was "bold and innovative." Maybe future judges should assign a lower rating to "bold" and a higher rating to "appetizing" in evaluating contest entries going forward? Or maybe the judges knew their audience; the initial run of the candy, which is available through Nissen's website for about $3/pack, sold out immediately. One possible explanation for the candy's popularity: the candies look like any other hard candy, so they are ideal for pranking anyone expecting their sweets to be…not gross.

這是怎麼一回事呢？日本一家郵購公司，尼森，與鬆糖果有限公司一起贊助了一場比賽，比賽內容是讓客戶提出新的糖果口味。在大約6000個參賽作品中，大賽評委選定“豬排拉麪”爲贏家，因爲它“大膽創新”。也許以後的評委應該把“創新”的要求設低一些，而“美味”的要求設高一點？或者，也許這些評委很瞭解他們的觀衆吧，這種糖剛開始賣的時候，尼森網站上的價格大約每包3美元，剛上架就賣光了。而其流行的原因大概是：這種糖看起來和別的硬糖一樣，所以非常適合那些愛搞惡作劇的人，畢竟看上去沒那麼噁心。

olate-Covered Squid

4.巧克力脆皮魷魚

Hey, we love chocolate as much as anyone (probably more). But it does seem like this zeal for dipping everything and anything in chocolate is getting a little out of control. Chocolate-covered liquorice or chocolate-dipped gummy bears wouldn't be among our top choices for chocolate consumption vectors, but they have their enthusiasts. And we'd be tempted to say, "To each his own," but that's how the world ends up with chocolate-covered squid.

很多人都很喜歡巧克力，但想把所有東西都泡在巧克力裏就有點離譜了。或許我們不喜歡巧克力甘草和巧克力軟糖熊，但是它們還算有市場。我們都知道蘿蔔青菜各有所愛，但巧克力脆皮魷魚這種東西真的會毀天滅地啊！

Technically, the product, which is offered by Hawaii's Big Island Candies isn't actually squid. Don't breathe a sigh of relief just yet, though. It's actually ika, a local Hawaiian snack of dried, seasoned cuttlefish strips (basically, really stinky squid jerky), which the company's employees painstakingly coat with chocolate. Some candy stores offers windows through which you can watch taffy being pulled or caramel apples being dipped. Big Island Candies offers the chance to watch dried squid go for a chocolate bath. A 3 oz. bag of the stuff will cost you $8.75, plus the inescapable pain of knowing that you voluntary consumed chocolate-covered squid. Proving that some folks will eat anything, the company's owner says the product has been "extremely well-received" and notes "there are times during the year…where we can barely keep it on the shelf." Ugh. We can barely keep this one in our imaginations, let alone in our stomachs.

從技術上講，夏威夷的大島糖果店生產的這款產品用的不是真魷魚。不過你也別高興得太早，它用的實際上是ika，這是夏威夷當地的一種乾貨，調好味的墨魚條（本質上就是很臭的魷魚乾），該公司的員工精心地給它塗上了巧克力。有些糖果店會提供窗口讓顧客觀看做太妃糖、焦糖蘋果的過程，大島糖果店也提供這樣的服務，你可以看他們用巧克力泡魷魚乾的過程。花費8.75美元，你會得到一袋3盎司的巧克力脆皮魷魚，還有自願嘗試這種食物所帶來的不可避免的痛苦。巧克力脆皮魷魚證明有些人什麼都敢吃，該公司的老闆說，這款產品“非常受歡迎”，“每年總有些時候我們會對它愛不釋手……”額，這種東西我們想都不敢想，別說吃了。

le-Gum Flavored String Cheese

3.泡泡糖口味的奶酪條

Cheese is pretty delicious as it is. Does cheese really need any more "innovations" to become more appealing? The folks at the Wisconsin Center for Dairy Research seem to think so, but if the "fun flavors" they are devising for string cheese are any indication, we don't want any of the monstrosities this lab of horrors is creating!

奶酪本身就很好吃，它還需要什麼“創新”來吸引消費者嗎？大概威斯康星乳品研究中心的員工覺得，需要。但要是他們想在奶酪條的口味上玩出些花樣，我們只希望搞出來的東西不要太恐怖。

The first targets for this frankencheese are the young. In an effort to make string cheese more "kid-friendly" (because apparently there's a big group of kids none of us have ever met out there balking at regular ol' string cheese), researchers produced string cheese in a range of revolting-sounding flavors, including green apple, banana, cotton candy, and bubble gum. Additionally, colors were added to the milk to make the cheese "vibrant." Luckily, this revolutionary string cheese doesn't seem to have made it beyond the testing phase…yet (which is why we're unable to track down any actual photographic evidence of it, which is probably by design). One master cheesemaker who has had the opportunity to try the string cheese described it as "quite good," saying that, "It combines 'sweet and salty' which is a very popular combination in snack foods right now." Um. No. We hate to be buzzkills, but if your buzz involves cotton candy string cheese, it probably has it coming. We're keeping our fingers crossed that the world at large never needs to know the horrors of vibrant-colored bubble gum-flavored cheese. Think of the children.

這種轉基因奶酪的目標受衆是年輕人。爲了使奶酪更“適合兒童”（因爲小朋友都不太喜歡普通的奶酪條），研究人員製作了一系列不同口味的奶酪條，這些口味聽上去很令人作嘔，包括青蘋果、香蕉、棉花糖、泡泡糖。此外，牛奶中還加入了不同顏色的色素，讓奶酪“更鮮豔”。幸運的是，這項奶酪條的“改革”停在了測試階段（所以我們沒能找到實物圖）。一位奶酪製作大師品嚐過這些奶酪條，他說：“非常好，它融合了甜味和鹹味，這是現在很流行的一種口味搭配。”額，我們都不想掃你的興的，但要是你想糟蹋我們心愛的奶酪條，那就保不準了。我們祈禱，願“色彩鮮豔的泡泡糖口味奶酪條”永遠不要出現在這世界上。想想孩子們吧。

d Chicken Nail Polish

2.炸雞味指甲油

Yes, this is a thing. No, we can't believe it either. Apparently, seeking to underscore how "finger-lickin' good" the company's fried chicken is, KFC's Hong Kong operation launched nail polish that tastes like KFC fried chicken. Let's all let this one sink in for a minute. Somehow, somewhere, marketing folks out there thought, "Hey, you know what will get people to buy our chicken? Nail polish that tastes like our chicken!" And no one stood up and said "No!" or "Eww!" or even "Maybe let's just try giving out some samples of the chicken first?"

對，確實有這麼個東西，我們也不敢相信。香港肯德基爲了體現自家的炸雞好吃得讓你舔手指，推出了一款指甲油，味道就像肯德基的炸雞。來，我們好好理解一下。某時某地，某營銷人員想到：“嘿，你知道怎樣讓大家都來買我們的雞嗎？指甲油啊，嚐起來和我們的炸雞味道一樣的指甲油！”然後竟然沒人站起來說“不！”“噁心！”或者“也許我們應該先讓人們試吃我們的樣品？”

Launching fried-chicken flavored nail polish wasn't just a whimsical spur-of-the-moment thing—it was a serious process. KFC's ad agency, Ogilvy & Mather, worked with the McCormick spice company, which supplies KFC's secret recipe of herbs and spices, to get the polish to taste and smell just right. That's right. Some poor food scientist at McCormick was forced to concoct chicken-flavored nail polish. The formula is made of all-natural ingredients, so you can lick the polish, which is available in "Original" and "Hot and Spicy" flavors, to your heart's content. John Koay, who heads up KFC's Hong Kong marketing, described the impulse behind the campaign, saying, "It made total sense to be at the end of everyone's fingertips." To which we say: Not like this, KFC. NOT. LIKE. THIS.

推出炸雞味的指甲油可不是一個異想天開、一時衝動的事，這是一個很嚴肅的過程。肯德基的廣告代理商奧美集團，與味可美香料公司，提供肯德基的草藥香料祕方）合作，將指甲油的味道和氣味調得剛剛好。味可美公司一些可憐的食品科學家被迫調製炸雞味的指甲油。該配方用的全是天然成分，所以這種指甲油可食用，有原味和香辣兩種口味供你選擇。肯德基的香港區負責人John Koay說，這個創意是想“讓所有感覺流連於指尖”。我們只想說：別這樣，肯德基，別，這，樣。

tos Mountain Dew

1.多力多滋味的激浪

Since PepsiCo owns a number of food and beverage brands, it was only a matter of time before they started looking at crossover opportunities. And the link between the target audience for Doritos and Mountain Dew is pretty clear—both target young men who are seeking " extreme" (meaning highly artificial and unhealthy) flavor experiences. And if you look carefully at the growing relationship between the two brands, you can see signs of the horrors to come. In 2008, the company offered Doritos Quest, Doritos chips coated with a sweet mystery flavor that was later revealed to be Mountain Dew. And in early 2014, the brands collaborated on a promotion tied into the release of a video game in the Call of Duty series.

百事旗下有多個餐飲品牌，所以跨界合作也不算個奇怪的事。多力多滋（調味墨西哥玉米片）和激浪（檸檬可樂口味的碳酸飲料）之間的聯繫很明確——受衆都是尋求“極端”味覺體驗（通常是人造不健康食品）的年輕人。仔細觀察，你就能發現這兩個品牌之間的關係越來越密切，也就能預見“恐怖”的到來。2008年，公司提出“多力多滋新探索”，推出的多力多滋味道甜美而神祕，後來證實其實就是激浪的味道。2014年初，兩品牌又合作，一起出現在《使命召喚》系列遊戲中。

But even with these signals, the world still wasn't ready when the company began testing Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew on US college campuses. Because while Mountain Dew-flavored Doritos were unappealing, for some reason, Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew amps up the gross factor to a whole new level. One guinea pig said the soda, "wasn't that disgusting…It tasted like orange with a Doritos aftertaste." With that kind of ringing endorsement, we can see why Pepsi apparently didn't take this combo past the test stage. But don't be lulled into a false sense of security—the risk that soda that tastes like Doritos could one day invade grocery shelves everywhere is a threat as long as these brands remain under the same corporate umbrella.

但即使已經有了這些預兆，多力多滋味的激浪作爲試驗品出現在美國大學校園裏時，整個世界還是震驚了。之前激浪味的多力多滋沒什麼吸引力，而這多力多滋味的激浪……達到了一個全新的境界。嘗過的人說：“也不是那麼糟糕……嘗上去像橘子，回味又是多力多滋的味道。”得到這樣的評價，我們也能理解爲什麼百事沒讓這項產品通過測試階段。但別因此陷入一種虛假的安全感，只要這些品牌還在同一家公司的保護傘下，可能某一天，多力多滋味的蘇打水就出現在各地雜貨店的貨架上。