那些不利於戀情的壞習慣

The "honeymoon stage" of a relationship is great, but once that comes to an end, we begin to notice things about our partner that we may have overlooked in the beginning. You or your loved one may be doing things subconsciously that are sabotaging your relationship. Annoying habits like leaving dirty clothes on the floor or leaving dirty dishes in the sink are one thing; but name-calling or hiding the phone is another.
甜蜜的戀情階段十分美好，但一旦這一階段到了盡頭，我們會開始注意另一半身上不好的細節，而我們在剛談戀愛時可能忽略了這些細節。你或你的摯愛可能在潛意識地做一些破壞你們感情的事情。將髒衣服扔在地板上或將髒盤子扔在洗碗池中就是讓人惱火的習慣，但直呼名字或是藏手機就是另一個性質了。

Silent treatment
冷戰

Avoiding and running away from conflict is not going to resolve anything. "Successful couples learn to fight well and find solutions quickly," sex therapist and relationship counsellor Giverny Lewis, says. "They don't avoid fighting altogether and shut each other out.
逃避、避免衝突並不會解決任何事情。"成功的CP知道如何爭吵以及如何快速地找到解決方法，"性治療師和情感諮詢師吉維尼·劉易斯說道。"他們會正視爭吵，不會讓對方閉嘴。"

Checking their phone
檢查對方的手機

"In the world of online relationships, more and more people are obsessively checking their partners' history, messages, and social media posts," Lewis says. "Unfortunately this is a double-edged sword." If you find something that looks suspicious, it's almost impossible to raise it with your partner - this means you need to reveal your snooping. "You also usually don't have all the context, so it's easy to misinterpret what you're seeing. And if you find nothing, often you assume they're just being extra secretive, and the cycle continues," she says. "If you're having difficulty trusting your partner it's best to talk to them and work out strategies together to address this concern."
"在網絡戀情的世界中，越來越多的人癡迷於檢查另一半的歷史聊天記錄、短信和社交狀態，"劉易斯說道。"不幸的是，這種行爲有利有弊。"如果你發現了一些貓膩，你幾乎不會直接問你的對象--因爲這意味着你要向他坦白你偷看他的手機了。"通常你看到的東西沒有上下文，因此很容易產生誤解。如果你什麼都沒發現，你就會假設他們十分謹慎，以此類推，循環往復，"她說道。"如果你很難相信自己的對象，那最好的方法就是和他們聊聊，並一起找出解決方法。"

Making assumptions
做假設

"Routines are fantastic and they help us feel secure in relationships, but familiarity can really kill the romance and excitement," Lewis says. "Getting stuck in the same old day-in, day-out habits can make the relationship feel stale and unrewarding." Relax a bit - have a mid-week date night, go on a weekend adventure or take on a new hobby together. You'll discover new things about your partner and reinvigorate the fire, she adds.
"一塵不變很美好，也能讓我們在戀情中有安全感，但過於熟悉會扼殺浪漫和興奮，"劉易斯說道。"每日每夜，習慣一塵不變，這樣你們的關係就會沒有新鮮感，而且也沒有收穫。"放鬆放鬆--週三的晚上出去約個會，週末去冒險或是一起培養新愛好。她補充道，你會發現對象身上有一些新的閃光點，讓你重新對他充滿熱情。

Spending all your time together
總是膩在一起

"It may seem counter-intuitive, but spending too much time together can actually drive you apart," Lewis says. "Doing things separately helps to reinstate your individual identity and lets you grow alongside your partner." Go out and spend time with friends, find a solo after-work activity, or spend some time indulging on your own. "You'll have plenty to talk about and bring a fresh attitude back to your time with your partner," she adds.
"這看起來與大家的正常預期相反，但總是膩在一起實則會使你們分開，"劉易斯說道。"單獨做事情有利於恢復你的個體身份，讓你和對象一起成長。"出門和朋友聚聚吧，找一個下班後單獨放鬆的活動，或是花些時間自己沉思。"這樣當你與另一半在一起時你們就會有很多話要說，而且態度也會煥然一新。"她補充道。