雙語閱讀：那些短命的戀愛那些刻骨的教訓

摘要：　如果你把一段破裂的關係看作一個學習的機會(雖然是非常痛苦的一段)，會教會你一些有價值的教訓，讓你在下一段戀情中清楚地知道你想要什麼、不想要什麼。這周前幾天，Reddit的忠實讀者們在網上將他們失敗戀情得來的慘痛教訓分享出來。以下是小編整理的英語文章：那些短命的戀愛 那些刻骨的教訓， 希望能對大家的英語學習有幫助。

It's easy to think back on past relationships and remember only the negatives. You catalog your mistakes and dwell on the time you wasted with someone who left you with emotional baggage, a broken heart and little else.

想起過往的戀情，人們通常只記得不好的地方。你把自己的錯誤區分開來，不斷回憶過去你浪費在這個人身上的時間，這個人讓你感情受挫、心碎不已，除此之外幾乎沒留下任何東西。

But what if instead you looked at a split as an educational experience (albeit a really painful one) that taught you valuable lessons about what you want and absolutely don't want in your next relationship? Earlier this week, Redditors did just that, sharing the most important lesson they've learned by way of heartbreak.

但是如果你把一段破裂的關係看作一個學習的機會(雖然是非常痛苦的一段)，會教會你一些有價值的教訓，讓你在下一段戀情中清楚地知道你想要什麼、不想要什麼。這周前幾天，Reddit的忠實讀者們在網上將他們失敗戀情得來的慘痛教訓分享出來。

1. "You need to preserve your own identity and your space. Embrace your individuality, pursue your interests while sharing some of it as a couple."

“你要不能失去自我，要保留一份自己的空間。熱愛自己的個性之處，在和對方分享自己一部分興趣的同時，追求自己的那一部分。”

2. "I learned that in order for someone to hear you, you have to talk, and in order for something to change, you have listen."

“如果想讓對方聽到你的心聲，你要主動開口;爲了尋求改變，你要學會傾聽。”

3. "You need things in common, but not common interests -- those will change. You need common values. Take stock of what's important to you, what's right and wrong in your world. Find someone who agrees with that and everything else will come together, more or less."

“你們需要有共同之處，但這不是指普通的興趣愛好，因爲這些會發生改變。你們需要相似的價值觀。考慮一下對你重要的是什麼，你的世界裏什麼是對的，什麼是錯的。找一個能和你達成以上共識的人，其他的共同點也會多多少少隨之而來。”

4. "Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice. In other words, never assume your significant other is up to something if they could possibly just be ignorant of the fact that it looks like they are up to something."

“當你做了蠢事的時候，不要怨恨。換句話說，不要以爲對方有所圖，可能他們只是沒有注意到自己的行爲看上去像有所企圖一樣。”

5. "You can't love enough for both people."

“你不能同時愛兩個人。”

6. "Even if it doesn't work out, marriage and a divorce can make you a stronger and kinder person."

“即使戀愛維持不下去了，那麼結婚或是離婚都可以讓你成爲一個更強壯和更好的人。”

7. "You're not obliged to set yourself on fire in order to keep somebody else warm."

“你沒有義務點燃自己去溫暖對方。”

8. "Don't let the fear of being alone lead you to deny what you really want. Hold on tightly to personal integrity."

“不要因爲害怕孤獨而將就、錯過了自己真正想要的人。人品不可丟。”

9. "To recognize and show appreciation for the love given by that other person in your life on a daily basis. They need to actually hear it. I should have said it more often."

“每天都要意識到愛的存在，併爲對方付出的愛心存感激。而你的心聲需要讓對方聽到。要是曾經的我明白這一點，多表達對愛的謝意就好了。”

10. "You have to ask yourself: 'If you were someone of the opposite sex, would you date yourself?' That kind of made me take a look at my own bad habits and behaviors in a different light. Now when I have a fight or a disagreement in my current relationship, I try to make sure I respond in a manner I would want my partner to respond in."

“你要問問自己：如果你是異性，你會和自己約會嗎?這會讓我以不同的角度來審視自己的壞習慣和缺點。現在當我在戀愛中和吵架或有歧義的時候，我會換位思考。”

11. "Humor and IQ will last longer than good looks."

“幽默感和智慧比美麗的外表更重要。”

12. "There is nothing wrong with being 'picky.' Some things are tolerable and of no consequence and some things aren't. The trick is finding where the line between tolerable and intolerable lies for you."

“挑剔是沒有錯的。有些無關痛癢的小事是可以容忍的，但有些事不是這樣的。你要知道能容忍和不能容忍之間的界限有你來定。”

13. "Communication in an argument isn't about convincing your partner that you're right. It's about understanding."

“在爭論的過程中，並不是要說服對方自己是對的，而是要做到相互理解。”

14. "You are in control of your own happiness. You need to be happy with yourself if you are to be in a healthy and happy relationship."

“你的幸福你自己負責。如果你要維持一段健康快樂的戀愛關係的話，獨處的時候也要開心。”

15. "Be a thinker in your relationship. Common sense should rule, not your heart."

“在戀愛中要做一個會思考的人。要用常理去判斷，不要意氣用事。”

16. "Don't disregard the red flags. I was insecure, naïve and thought I was being judgmental. Nope. He was a jerk and we had nothing in common."

“不要忽視危險信號。我曾經很幼稚，缺乏安全感，認爲自己太過於喜歡品頭論足了。但事實證明不是那樣的。他是個混蛋，我們根本是兩個世界的人。”

17. "That you should only be with someone that genuinely, freely, and entirely wants to be with you. Begging to be noticed is not healthy."

“你只應該和某個全心全意想陪着你的人在一起。乞求對方的注意，這種心態是不健康的。”