網評不做鍵盤俠，12個問題先自答
Ah, the comments section.
啊，談到了網絡評論的部分。
It's where the Internet — in all its terrible glory — weighs in on the hottest issues of the day. And after you read a particularly incendiary article, you too may be tempted to weigh in.
正是網絡世界，因其各種可怕的榮耀總在衡量和批判當下最火熱的話題。並且當你閱讀了一篇特別爆炸性的文章時，你太想參與到討論當中了。
Not so fast, champ.
先別急，你只是草草地看了一遍而已。
Before you leave your magnum opus in that comment field, take a deep breath and ask yourself these questions. With a little introspection, you may be able to avoid an ugly feud or a lot of embarrassment.
在你準備在評論區發表個人偉論前，先深呼吸，問問自己以下這些問題。帶着自我反省的目的，也許你就能避免了一場難堪的紛爭或者滿屏的尷尬了。
1. Does this comment represent me well?
1. 我所發表的評論能代表我本人嗎？
Your comments show the Internet what kind of person you are. Make sure it’s a good one, not a terrible garbage one.
在網絡上，你的評論顯示了你本人的特點。你得確保這是合適的，而不是不堪入目的言論。
2. Would I want my #1 role model to read this comment?
2. 爲什麼我希望愛豆看到自己的評論？
Whether your role model of choice is your mother, your college Biology professor or Home Improvement star Tim Allen, make sure your Internet comment is something your idol would be proud to read.
無論你所的崇拜對象是你的母親，你的大學生物教授還是家居改善計劃的專家Tim Allen，你也得確保自己的網絡評論讓偶像有閱讀的價值。
3. Am I reading a satirical article?
3.文章是否帶有挖苦諷刺的意味？
Does the article seem too crazy to be true? That could be because, uh … it’s not.
文章看起來會不會離譜得很，從而讓你懷疑它的真實性？這可能是因爲……這確實不是真的。
4. Is my comment offensive?
4.我的評論會不會侵犯到別人？
If your comment contains slurs or relies on stereotypes, reconsider posting. Some jokes aren’t worth hurting others or perpetuating harmful structures -- no matter how hilarious you think they are.
如果你的言論模棱兩可，或者只是基於先入爲主而發表的，那就重新考慮你的措辭吧。某些玩笑話不值得用於傷害他人或使有害的信息繼續傳播下去，無論你認爲它們多麼值得大笑。
5. Should I telephone a loved one -- perhaps my son -- or write this Internet comment?
5. 我該給我愛的人（比如我的兒子）打電話嗎？或者把這則評論發佈到網絡上？
When was the last time you talked to your son? He misses you. You know who doesn’t miss you? The comments section of “Best Power Ballads of October 1996.”
上一次跟兒子聊天是什麼時候了？他很想念你。那麼根本不想念你的人是誰？就是“Best Power Ballads of October 1996”的評論區！
6. Did a loved one -- perhaps my son -- write this article?
6. 這篇文章是我所愛的人（也許是我的兒子）寫的嗎？
It doesn’t matter how much you disagree with the article’s content -- if your own estranged child (pictured above) wrote it, you should address your qualms in person. It’s been 20 long years, after all.
這與你多麼不喜歡文章的內容無關，如果你的關係疏遠的兒子（就像上圖的那位）寫的這篇文章，你就應該親自跟他表達你的擔憂。畢竟已經過去20年了，對吧？
7. Has someone already expressed my opinion using similar words?
7. 有沒有人早已發佈了跟我一樣的言論？
If another user has already made your comment, you should be excited. It means you don’t have to write anything. Just upvote and nod, pal.
如果有別的用戶已經發表了跟你同樣的觀點，你會很激動。這意味着你就不需要再寫任何評論了。只需要點贊和點頭就可以了，兄弟。
8. Will I act chill if people disagree with me?
8. 如果其他人不同意我的觀點，我能不能保持冷靜？
You know the old popular saying: If you can’t take the Internet, get out of that Internet.
你知道，有句老話這麼說的：忍受不了網絡，就滾出網絡。
9. Am I hungry?
9. 我餓了嗎？
Come on, you know you get angry when you’re hungry. When did you eat breakfast? Should you really be online right now?
親，你就知道的，餓的時候就容易生氣。你什麼時候吃的早餐？現在真的還該呆在網上嗎？
10. What should I have for lunch?
10. 午餐該吃啥？
Eggplant parm sounds good. I know you had it yesterday, but it’s best to stick with something reliable. You can expand your horizons another day.
茄子乾酪三明治似乎是個不錯的選擇。我知道你昨天已經吃過了，但是對某些可靠的東西保持專一還是很不錯的。因爲今天你就能拓展自己的視野了。
11. Is it bad that I eat eggplant parm every day?
11.每天都吃茄子乾酪三明治會不會不是一個好的決定？
Of course not! Everyone has their “thing,” and yours is eggplant parmesan.
肯定不會啊！每個人都有自己的“癖好”，而你的就是茄子乾酪三明治了。
12. Did I actually read the article?
12. 認真閱讀這篇文章了嗎？
Did you forget to read the article again? Oh, you!
你是否已經忘了重新閱讀這篇文章了？嘖嘖，你呀！
