戀人未滿？七種方法教你測試愛情
You're a smart, attractive person, so you wouldn't be surprised if one of your friends got the hots for you and then started acting all kinds of crazy.
Your love-struck friend will wonder if you feel the same way, and will probably dream up subtle tests to find out. They could save themselves some effort by quickly surveying the scientific literature, though, because they will almost certainly be following one of seven well-trodden paths.
In a classic study led by Leslie Baxter at Lewis and Clark College in Portland, Oregon, and William Wilmot at the University of Montana, Missoula, a team of researchers interviewed 90 undergraduate students about their relationships with people of the opposite sex.
The interviewees admitted to a total of 158 "calculated acquisition strategies" or secret tests that they hoped would reveal how a fancied friend felt about them. Many of the tests were pretty similar, so Baxter and Wilmot were able to boil them down to just seven categories. Read on to see how infuriating, and downright calculating, friends can become in the pursuit of a relationship upgrade.
1. Endurance
This is most common type of test. In this category, the love-struck friend does their best to test the other person's feelings by fishing for compliments or demanding help 每 especially if it comes at a cost to the other.
A classic endurance gambit is the self-put-down. As one respondent recalled: "He was really getting down on himself, saying he wasn't a very capable or nice person. He said it to get me to compliment him and verbalise how much I thought of him."
Another type of endurance test is called forced choice, in which your friend wants to see if you will drop everything for them. "She came to where I work out and said that she was really depressed but didn't want to bother me," said one man in his interview. "She really wanted to see if I would stop what I was doing and show my concern, indicating how much I care for her."
Finally, enamoured friends will behave like spoiled brats, pushing their friend's buttons to see how much mistreatment they will put up with without complaining, will you still like them even when they're being a pain?
2. Triangulation
The second most popular type of test was dubbed the triangle, because it relies on the age-old saying "three's a crowd".
Some people engineer "fidelity checks", especially if the relationship has already strayed beyond the platonic. One of the interviewees wanted to test if her boyfriend was as keen as she was. "I would intentionally leave him alone with my room-mate and then ask him when I returned 'What have the two of you been up to?' If he acted uncomfortable, I would know that he wasn't faithful or at least that he was thinking about being unfaithful to me."
Others employ jealousy tests: "I tested her limits by going out with other women and making sure that she found out about it. I wanted to know what kind of relationship commitment she wanted," said one man.
3. Hint, hint
Then there are the indirect suggestion tests: joking about serious feelings, hinting or getting increasingly intimate with bodily contact. "When we were just becoming romantic, he kept getting more and more bold with his touching, first his arm around my shoulder, then moving in real close, etc. He was waiting to see if I would tell him when to stop as a sign of how much I liked him," said one interviewee.
4. Miss me?
Distance is supposed to make the heart grow fonder, and indeed physical separation is a common test. One respondent admitted: "To see if our relationship was really strong I tested it by going overseas for a few months."
If you have felt like you didn't want to be the first to call, you could be using another separation test called initiation induction. "When I returned from Switzerland, he didn't call me even though he knew exactly when I was returning. He wanted to see if I still felt the same way about him by calling him first," one woman recalls.
5. Heart to heart
The directness test is really the opposite of a secret strategy. Far more popular with men than women, it involves either asking a person straight out how they feel, or speaking openly about yourself in the hope your love interest will too.
"I was having trouble getting him to open up to me about his family and his background," one woman said, "so I started talking about my folks and sisters, hoping that he would reciprocate and tell me about himself as a sign that he trusted me and wanted me to know more about him."
6. Inside information
Ever tried to find out from someone's friends whether they might have a crush on you? Then you have employed what Baxter and Wilmot aptly call asking third party tests. It might sound like playground behaviour, but grown-ups do it too.你聰明，充滿吸引力，所以如果你的一個朋友迷上了你，然後爲你做出一系列瘋狂的舉動就不會令人奇怪了。
迷上你的那位朋友不知道你和他（她）的想法是否一樣，因此就想出一些絕妙的測試來驗證。他（她）如果快速地翻閱一下科技文獻其實可以給自己省下不少功夫，因爲以下這7條測試方法是很多人都會嘗試的。
來自奧勒岡州波特蘭劉易斯克拉克學院的萊斯利•巴克斯特（Leslie Baxter）與密蘇里市蒙大拿大學教授威廉•威爾莫特（William Wilmot）聯合進行了一項研究，他們訪問了90名大學生，旨在瞭解他們與異性的關係。
被訪問者採用了158條“蓄意獲取策略”，也就是祕密測試，他們希望通過這些測試來探知自己喜歡的朋友是怎麼看待自己的。大多數的測試都很相似，因此巴克斯特和威爾莫特把這些測試分成7類。接下來讓我們來看一看異性朋友爲了追求一段戀情是如何讓人抓狂又工於心計的。
1. 忍耐度
這是最常見的一類測試，在這類的測試中，陷入情網的那個人竭盡所能地恭維對方或者向對方尋求幫助，特別是涉及需要對方付出代價的事情。
一個經典的忍耐力測試開場就是放低自己的姿態。一個被測試者回憶說：“他把自己位置放得很低，說他能力不強，人也不好，他這樣說就是想讓我誇獎他，聽聽我是怎麼看他的。”
另外一種忍耐度測試叫做強迫選擇測試，在這項測試裏，你的朋友想知道你會不會爲了他們放棄所有事情。一個男性受訪者說：“她來到我鍛鍊的地方，告訴我她很沮喪不過她不想打擾我。她非常想知道我是否能停下我手頭的事情關心她。”
最後，迷戀你的朋友會表現得像個被寵壞了的乳臭未乾的孩子，看看他們的迷戀對象在深受對方折磨的情況下還會不會毫無怨言地忍受——如果你的朋友是這樣，你還會喜歡他們嗎？
2. 三角測量法
第二流行的測試方法就是三角測量，這個測試來源於老輩人口中的“三人不歡”。
一些人願意做“忠誠度測試”，特別是兩者之間關係已經不再是純粹的柏拉圖式的關係。因爲受訪者想知道自己的男朋友是不是如同她愛他一樣喜歡她。“我有時候故意把他和我的室友單獨留在一起，我回去的時候問他他們兩人在一起的時候做了些什麼。如果他表現不自然，我就知道他不誠實，至少他想對我不忠誠。”
另外一些人採用嫉妒測試。“我和其她女人出去，並確保她知道，這樣就能測試她的極限。我想知道她想要什麼樣的愛情承諾”，一位男性受訪者表示。
3. 暗示測試
接下來還有間接暗示測試，也就是對於一段認真的感情開玩笑，通過身體接觸給予暗示使感情升溫。“我們逐漸變得浪漫的時候，他對我的身體接觸也越來越大膽。首先，他的胳膊搭在我的肩頭，然後手慢慢移過來，他等着我喊停，通過他與我的距離判斷我有多愛他。”一位受訪者說道。
4. 想我嗎？
距離產生美，因此與相愛之人分開也是一項常見測試。一位受訪人認爲他測試他倆關係是否鞏固的方法就是出國，和對方分離幾個月。
如果你不想成爲先打電話的那個人，你可以採取另外一個分離測試，這項測試叫做初始感應。一位女士回憶說：“當我從瑞典回國的時候，他並沒有給我打電話，雖然他清楚知道我回來的時間。他想知道我是否能和他想法一樣並首先打電話。”
5. 心對心交流
直接測試與祕密測試剛好相反。男性採用這種測試方法的頻率遠遠高於女性。這樣的測試方法包括直接問別人他們的感覺或者開誠佈公地和自己有感覺的那位交談。
一位女性表示：“想和我那位開放地聊聊他的家庭和背景非常困難，所以我首先和他介紹一下我的家庭和姐妹，希望他能和我交換意見，與我聊他的情況，以此讓他相信我，也想讓我多瞭解他。”
6. 內部信息
你是否想知道別人的朋友是否喜歡你？那你可以試試巴克斯特和威爾莫特所定義的第三方測試。這聽起來也許像是小朋友的遊戲行爲，但是大人們也這樣做。
