朋友失業了，你該怎麼做？（上）

If someone close to you has been fired or laid off, it’s imperative not to treat the job loss like a taboo subject.

如果你的親密朋友最近被解僱了或裁員了，我們要謹記的是不要把失業這件事當作禁忌話題。

Opening the dialogue and normalizing a very unnatural-feeling situation is the best thing that a friend can do for someone who is going through a similar situation.

開展對話，把這種不自然的感覺正常化，是一個朋友爲某個正在經歷相似情況的朋友能做的最好的事情。

To that end, we asked experts what to say ― and what not to say ― to a friend who’s dealing with the loss of a job. 

爲了達到這個目的，我們詢問了許多專家的建議，詢問他們在一位正在面臨失業的朋友面前應該說和不應該說的話。

What to say:

應該說的話：

I’m so sorry to hear the news. I know how much time you devoted there. How are you feeling?

對於你的近況我感到很遺憾。我知道你爲那份工作投入了很多時間，你現在的感覺怎麼樣？

“When people are going through hardship, they want to hear words that communicate understanding and empathy. Try to avoid giving your friend advice, immediately trying to cheer them up, or having them look at the ‘bright side.’ Understand that losing a job is just that ― a loss.” ― Tara Griffith, therapist and the founder of Wellspace SF

“當人們在經歷艱難處境的時候，他們希望聽到的是傳達理解與同情的話。儘量減少爲朋友提出建議，直接鼓勵他們，或者讓他們看到‘好的一面’。”理解到失業僅僅——只是一次失去。——Tara Griffith,心理治療師兼Wellspace SF的創辦人

I understand how scared (or angry, frustrated or sad) you’re feeling. That has to be difficult.

我理解你有多麼擔憂（或憤怒，沮喪或傷心）。這的確是很難過的。

“Validation is always a good place to start because it allows the other person to feel heard and understood first and foremost, which is usually what we need from our friends more than anything else.” ― Amanda Stemen, therapist in Los Angeles

“承認他人的情緒總能很好的開始，因爲能讓別人感受到自己的話被他人聽進去和理解了，這也是我們從朋友身上比其他東西更需要的。”——Amanda Stemen，拉斯維加斯的心理治療師

Do you want

to talk about it?

你想不想聊聊這個話題？

“Depending on the person and timing, they may or may not want to dredge up the memory. Give them the option to vent and be a supportive, good listener without judgment.” ― Lynn Taylor, workplace expert and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior & Thrive in Your Job “根據個人特點和時間，他們有可能希望或不希望回憶起那段記憶。把發泄的權利交給他們，給予他們支持，好好聆聽，不加評判。”——Lynn Taylor，職場專家以及《馴服難搞的辦公室暴君：如何應付孩子氣的老闆行爲，事業蓬勃發展》的作者

Do you want to get together?

你想要出來聚聚嗎？

“During a period of unemployment, people can become increasingly isolated and socially withdrawn, particularly if a big part of their social circle once involved co-workers. Therefore, encourage your friend to get out of the house, stay active, and remain connected with others. Suggest going on a hike together, grabbing a cheap coffee, or treating them to lunch. Participating in activities and spending time with loved ones can also help reinforce that there is more to their identity than just their job.” ― Tara Griffith

“在失業的一段時期，人們會變得極其孤立，拒絕社交，尤其是大多數他們的社交圈子曾經包含了同事。因此，你要鼓勵你的朋友走出屋子，保持積極的心態，與他人保持聯繫。你可以建議與他一起去爬山，喝杯咖啡，或請他們吃一頓午餐。參與社交活動，與喜歡的人一起共度時光，也能幫助加強他們的意識，讓他們知道他們的身份比工作更重要。”——Tara Griffith

點此閱讀：朋友失業了，你該怎麼做？（下）