Welcome to Our Bank 開門揖盜實爲監守自盜 "I wish Central Bank would be robbed," George Pickens said to himself. He had been making this wish daily from the time he had started work as a teller at the bank. All over the country banks were being robbed, George thought. Why not this bank? Were robbers scornful of its four-million-dollar capital? Were they afraid of Mr. Ackerman, the old bank guard, who hadn't pulled out his gun in twenty-two years? Of course George had a reason for wanting the bank to be robbed. After all, he couldn't simply take the thick bundles of bills that were under his hands all day long. So he had thought of another way to get them. His plan was simple. It went like this:If Bank Robber A holds up Bank Teller B And if Bank Teller B gives Bank Robber A a certain amount of money What is to prevent Bank Teller B from keeping all the money left and claiming that it was stolen by Bank Robber A? There was only one problem. Where was Bank Robber A? One morning George entered the bank feeling something was about to happen. "Good morning, Mr. Burrows." He said cheerfully. The bank president said something in a low voice and went into his office. At two o'clock Bank Robber A walked in. George knew he was a bank robber. For one thing, be slipped in. For another thing, be wore a mask. "This is a holdup," the man said roughly. He took a pistol from his pocket. The guard made a small sound. "You," the bank robber said, "lie down on the floor." Mr. Ackerman lay down. The robber stepped over to George's cage."All right," he said. "Hand it over.""Yes, sir," said George. "Would you like it in ten- or twenty-dollar bills?""Just hand it over!" George reached into his cashbox and took all the bills from the top section--close to six thousand dollars. He passed them through the window. The robber snatched them, put them into his pocket, and turned to leave. Then, while everyone watched Bank Robber A, Bank Teller B calmly lifted off the top section of the cashbox and slipped bills from the bottom section into his pockets. The door swung and the bank robber was gone. George fainted. When he woke he smiled up at the worried faces looking down at him. "I'm all right," he said bravely.“要是中央銀行被搶了該多好，”喬治·皮肯斯自言自語道。自從在銀行裏開始擔任出納員之日起，他就每天都琢磨着要實現這個願望。(2)喬治想，全國所有的銀行都被搶過，爲什麼唯獨這家銀行沒被搶呢？強盜們是看不上這400萬元的資本嗎？他們是害怕這家銀行的老門衛阿克曼先生嗎？他22年來從沒有掏出過他的槍。(3）當然，喬治想要這家銀行被搶是有個理由的。畢竟，他不能輕易地拿走整天價打他手頭點過的成捆成捆的厚厚的鈔票。因而他已想出了另一個弄到錢的辦法。他的計劃很簡單。就像這樣： 如果銀行搶劫犯A以武力威脅銀行的出納員B…… 而且如果銀行出納員B給銀行搶劫犯A一筆相當可觀的錢…… 什麼會阻止銀行出納員B留下剩下的那些錢而宣稱都被銀行搶劫犯A搶走了呢？ 只有一個問題。銀行搶劫犯A在哪裏呢？(4)一天早晨，喬治走進銀行，感到有什麼事情將要發生。“早上好，伯羅斯先生。”他興高采烈地說道。行長低聲說了句什麼就進了辦公室。(5)下午兩點鐘，銀行搶劫犯A進來了。喬治知道他是一個銀行搶劫犯。因爲，第一，他是溜進來的；第二，他戴了一個面具。〔6〕“這是一次持槍搶劫，”這人粗暴地說道。他從口袋裏掏出一支手槍。門衛發出了一點小小的聲音。“你，”銀行搶劫犯說道，“躺到地上。”阿克曼先生躺了下去。搶劫犯跨步來到喬治有柵窗的工作間。 “好了，”他說。“把錢交出來。”“是的，先生。”喬治答道。“您願意要10元一張的還是20元一張的？”“都交出來！”〔7)喬治把手伸進現金櫃裏，從上層格子中取出所有的鈔票一將近6000元。他將錢由窗口遞了出來。搶劫犯一把抓過錢，放入口袋，然後轉身就走。(8)就在人們都注視着銀行搶劫犯A時，銀行出納員B卻悄悄地提起現金櫃上層的格子，把櫃子下層的鈔票偷偷地塞入了他自己的口袋中。(9)門轉了一下，銀行搶劫犯走了。喬治暈了過去。他醒來時，仰望着那些焦急地瞅着他的人們笑了笑。“我沒事，”他勇敢地表示道。 "Perhaps you should go home, George," Mr. Bell, the chief auditor said.[11] As soon as he was safely behind his bedroom door, George took the money from his pockets and counted it. He had seven thousand dollars. He was very happy.[12] The next morning when George arrived at the bank, it was not open for business. But everyone was there, helping to examine the bank's records for the special audit Mr. Bell was taking.[13] George was called into Mr. Burrows' office. The bank president seemed strangely cheerful. "George," he said, "I want you to meet Mr. Carruthers, who used to be president of our bank."[14] "Good morning. George," said Mr. Carruthers. "I was sorry to hear you fainted yesterday. Are you all right now?" "Yes, sir, just fine, thanks."[15] "I'm glad to hear it. That was quite an adventure. It just goes to show how easy it is to rob our bank." "Sir?" said George, confused.[16] "George, I was sorry to give you a hard time yesterday, but with all the banks being robbed these days I thought it would be a good idea to prove that our little bank can be robbed too. I have retired, but I haven't stopped thinking. That's why I played my little game yesterday, just to keep everybody on his toes." "I don't understand," said George. "What game?"[17] The old man laughed and took out a mask. He placed it over his face and said: "All right. Hand it over!" Mr. Burrows laughed but George did not.[18] "And the money?" George asked in a small voice. "Don't worry." Mr. Carruthers said. "I put it all back in your cashbox--all six thousand. We're just finishing up the audit now." George turned cold with fear.[19] Behind them, the door opened and Mr. Bell, the chief auditor, put his head into the room. "Mr. Burrows," he said gravely, "may I see you a moment?"(10)“也許你該回家歇歇，喬治，”審計主任貝爾先生說。(11)喬治安然回到宿舍關上門以後，就從口袋裏掏出錢數了起來。他有了7000元。他滿心歡喜。(12)第二天上午，喬治到銀行上班時，銀行還沒開門營業。但是每個人都在那兒，幫助檢查銀行的記錄，因爲貝爾先生正在進行特別查帳。(13)喬治被叫到伯羅斯先生的辦公室裏。銀行行長似乎出奇地高興。“喬治，”他說道，“我想讓你見見卡拉瑟斯先生，他從前是我們銀行的行長。”(14)“早上好，喬治，”卡拉瑟斯先生說。“聽說你昨天暈過去了，我很抱歉。現在好了嗎？” “好了，先生，好了，謝謝。”(15)“聽到沒事了，我很高興。那真是一次險情。它正有助於表明搶劫我們的銀行是多麼容易。” “什麼，先生？”喬治有點摸不着頭腦地問道。(16)“喬治，很對不起，昨天讓你受了一次打擊，但是這些天隨着所有的銀行被搶，我想來驗證一下我們的小銀行也會被搶劫看來是個好主意。我雖已退休，但我沒有停止思考。這就是爲什麼昨天我做了一場小遊戲，只是爲了讓每個人都保持警惕。” “我不明白，”喬說。“什麼遊戲？”（17）這位老人大笑，然後拿出一個面具。他把它戴在他的臉上，說道：“好了，把錢交出來!”卡拉瑟斯先生笑了，喬治卻沒有。 (18)“那麼錢呢？”喬治低聲問道。 “別擔心，”卡拉瑟斯先生說道。“我已把錢全放回到你的現金櫃子裏了一總共是6000元。我們現在就要檢查完這筆帳目了。”喬治膽顫心驚，剎時面無人色。(19)在他們背後，門開了，審計主任貝爾先生將頭伸進屋來。“伯羅斯先生，”他嚴肅地問道，“我可以和您談談嗎？”
