你知道是怎麼弄壞你的筆記本的嗎（雙語）

最近我們請人們講了講自己那些弄壞電腦的最蠢行爲。下面就是他們講述的故事。一起來歡樂一下吧

1. Try not to cook your laptop.

別用你的筆記本燒菜

I used my computer as a plate in the microwave when I was drunk.

有一次我喝醉了，把筆記本當成了微波爐用的餐盤。

2. Don't whip your hair too enthusiastically.

甩頭髮的時候不要太熱情洋溢

My sophomore year of college, my roommate and I were making fun of Willow Smith's song “Whip My Hair”. I whipped a little too hard, and my laptop flew off my lap and crashed onto the floor. Not my proudest moment.

我大二的時候，有一次我和室友一起聽維羅·史密斯的歌《頭髮甩甩》。我甩頭髮用力過猛，以致我的筆記本從腿上飛了出去，砸到地上了。

3. Keep in mind that sometimes, even ants can't save you.

記住，有時候就算螞蟻也救不了你

I dropped a hot bowl of mashed potatoes on my laptop keyboard. The keys all press themselves now. I put the laptop outside to try to save it by letting the ants eat the mashed potatoes, but the damage had already been done. The ants did a good job cleaning it out, though.

我不小心把一大碗熱乎乎的土豆泥倒在鍵盤上了。鍵盤上的按鍵都開始自行其是了。我把筆記本放在室外，希望螞蟻來吃掉土豆泥，我的筆記本就得救了，然而這也無濟於事。不過螞蟻還是幫我把鍵盤清理的蠻幹淨的。

4. Never trust a cleanly infant.

絕不要信任有潔癖的寶寶

I was babysitting my cousin's son who was 3 or 4 at the time and had an obsession with cleaning EVERYTHING. Laptop was on the coffee table, glass of water on the end table. I left the room for no more than 3 minutes to use the bathroom. When I re-entered the room, it was already too late; he had dumped the whole glass of water on the laptop. I yelled, “Seth, NO!” and the poor kid burst into tears and said, “I just wanted it clean it for you!”

那時我在看護我的侄兒子，他3、4歲的樣子，特別喜歡把每件東西都弄得乾乾淨淨。我的筆記本放在咖啡桌上，桌角有一杯水。我離開房間去衛生間，用了不到三分鐘的時間。當我再回到房間裏的時候，我發現一切都太遲了：他已經把一整杯水都倒在了我的筆記本上。我尖叫道：“賽斯，住手!”，而那個可憐的孩子則崩出淚水，說道“我只是想爲你把它弄乾淨!”

5. Don't be too whimsy.

別太神經質

I broke my laptop dancing in the rain. I was waiting for a ride home from class at my university and it was raining and so I jumped in the puddles like the toddler I am and when I got home I realized my backpack was soaked through and my laptop was dead.

我在雨中漫舞的時候弄壞了我的筆記本。那時我上完課準備搭車回家，天上下着雨，我像小孩子一樣踩着水窪玩。到家時我才意識到我的揹包溼透了，我的筆記本也完蛋了。

6. And don't forget that your laptop isn't a cutting board.

別忘了你的筆記本不是裁紙板!

My desk was overflowing and I was going to cut some cardboard with a hobby knife. I decided to use my computer as my cutting board. Needless to say, I pushed that knife a bit too deep into the cardboard.

我的書桌上堆滿了東西，我想用裁紙刀裁幾張紙板。所以我決定用我的筆記本充當裁紙板。不用說你也猜得到，我下刀力道大了些在裁紙板上刺得深了一點。

7. Be aware of the dangers of Britney Spears.

當心小甜甜布蘭妮

I was watching Crossroads, with Britney Spears, and I put my glass of wine down on it to dance to “I Love Rock 'n' Roll” and got a little too into it. The wine spilled all over the keyboard and that was the end of that.

我在看小甜甜的電影處女作《布蘭妮要怎樣》，我把一杯紅酒放在筆記本上，跟着《我愛搖滾》(I Love Rock 'n' Roll)的樂曲跳起舞來，結果我有點太投入了。酒灑在鍵盤上，就是這樣了!

8. Try not to cash in all your bad karma at once.

試着阻止那些厄運突然全部應驗

Leaving school, I put my laptop on the top of my car while loading my backpack into the back seat. While I was driving, I noticed something fly off of my car, and I realized that it was my laptop.

我正準備離開學校，我把筆記本放在車頂上，然後把揹包放進後備箱。當我把車開起來之後，我發現有什麼東西從我的車上飛了出去，然後意識到那是我的筆記本!

9. And try not to be too sad.

試着別讓自己太傷心

Not me, but a friend got really homesick her first month of college and cried so much on her MacBook track pad that she gave it water damage.

我的一個朋友剛進大學一個月那會兒特別想家，她對着自己的蘋果筆記本觸摸板不停的哭，結果她的筆記本就受潮了。