婚禮來臨前,情侶都會爲這些事而爭吵
Wedding planning is basically a part-time job, even if you're working with an experienced planner. Given how high-stress planning can be, it's no surprise that couples tend to butt heads in the weeks and months leading up to the big day. Below, marriage therapists share the most common arguments couples have before walking down the aisle and how to address each.
婚禮策劃基本是一份兼職工作，即使你的合作對象是一位經驗豐富的策劃師。鑑於策劃的壓力很大，所以情侶們在婚禮到來前的幾個月或幾周內發生衝突並不奇怪。下面，婚姻治療師分享了情侶在婚禮前最容易爭吵的點，以及如何解決這些爭吵。1. His parents won't stop meddling in our wedding plans.
1. 他的父母不停的干預我們的婚禮計劃。You and your partner have already chosen the flowers, cake flavor and wedding band. Unfortunately, your soon-to-be mother-in-law has some very strong opinions on those subjects, and her preferences clash with yours. If your partner caves to his or her parents' wishes, that could easily cause strife in your relationship, said Margaret Rutherford, a psychologist in Fayetteville, Arkansas.
你和你的另一半早就選好花、蛋糕和婚戒了。但不幸的是，即將成爲你婆婆的那個人卻對這些物品有着強烈意見，而且她的喜好和你的選擇恰恰相反。如果你的另一半迎合了他/她父母的意思，那你們就很有可能吵架，阿肯色州費耶特維爾的心理學家瑪格麗特·盧瑟福說道。
"This isn't about the cake. It's about how strongly a couple holds on to their fairly new commitment to one another when in a strong ― maybe even controlling ― family member's presence."
"這無關乎蛋糕。問題在於：出現一個強勢--甚至有點控制人的--家庭成員的情況下，情侶是否能夠堅定剛剛許下的承諾。"If you're a people pleaser ― or just an incorrigible parent pleaser ― use this pre-wedding period to show your S.O. that ultimately your allegiance lies with him or her.
如果你喜歡討好別人--或者是那種無可救藥討好父母的人--那就在婚禮前的準備階段讓你的另一半知道，你最終是忠誠於他/她的！"This is an opportunity to build trust and a sense of respected partnership," Rutherford said. "You and your partner need to talk about how you envision your relationships with both sets of parents. Discuss what kinds of information needs to stay between the two of you and what can be shared. You're likely to have different ideas and need to create a compromise."
"這是建立信任和尊重感的機會，"盧瑟福說道。"你和你的另一半需要談論你對你和雙方父母關係的看法。討論什麼樣的事情只能你倆知道，什麼樣的事情可以和父母分享。你們很有可能持不同意見，需要相互妥協。"2. This wedding is costing an arm and a leg - and we're already on unsure financial footing.
2. 這場婚禮代價太高了--我們的財務狀況已經不穩了。Weddings are ungodly expensive, which is why flare-ups about finances often occur during the planning process. One minute you're bickering about the price tag on catering packages, and the next you're hounding each other about when you'll each pay off your student debt.
結婚需要很多錢，所以婚禮策劃的過程中，情侶們總會因爲財務而爭吵。上一秒你們還在爲餐飲包裝上的價格而爭吵，下一秒你們就相互討論什麼時候才能還清學生貸款了。If issues do crop up, lean into the moment and talk about how you feel about your shared financial future, said Alicia H. Clark, a psychologist in Washington, D.C.
華盛頓特區的心理學家艾麗·H.克拉克說道，如果出現了這種問題，請立刻談論你對你們共同未來財務的看法。
