在孩子面前我會做這些事爲他們樹立榜樣大綱
1. Throwing Trash Out My Car Window
1. 從車窗向外扔垃圾I am guilty of tossing chewed gum out the car window like it was 1979. I remember last year while driving with my son and boyfriend, my son said, "I need to throw my gum out," and Manboy X said, "Just throw it out the window." I attacked him for being totally reckless, irresponsible and being a horrible role model, even though the next time I was driving alone and wanted to spit my gum out, I chucked it out without a thought. That's what WE do, but we can't let our kids know! And yes, I still roll my window down and slyly throw it out, every time. Recently I got caught. And I copped to it. I said, "Oh wow, I didn't even realize I did that!" Which was essentially true. Now that I've been outed, maybe it's time I grow up and stop littering.
好像在1979年，我因爲從車窗向外扔口香糖而內疚不已。我還記得去年和男友以及兒子一起開車的時候，我的兒子說道，“我需要把口香糖扔出去，”大男孩X說道，“那就從車窗扔出去好了。”我因爲他如此魯莽、不負責任和成爲如此錯誤的榜樣而批評了他，即使下一次我獨自一人開車想要吐口香糖的時候，我會毫不猶豫的從車窗吐掉。這是我們（大人）做的事情，但不該讓我們孩子知道！是的，我每次仍會慢慢搖下車窗，偷偷地吐掉口香糖。最近我被抓到了，我也認了。我說，“哦，哇哦，我都沒有意識到我居然這樣做！”這真的是事實。既然我已被逮到，也許我該長大不再丟垃圾了。
2. Not Tying the Bag of Dog Shit
2. 不綁狗屎袋
This has been an ongoing family fight and one that I eventually lost when I decided to poll everyone I know about tying the dog shit bag. But apparently, you're a total jerk if you just toss it in the trash without tying. Even though I lost the fight, I continue not to tie it, probably as a "fuck you" to my accusers. Anyway, I am pretty sure I'm setting an example for my kids on how to be a total douche bag. I think I need to tie the bag.
這一直都是家庭的爭論點之一，當我試圖讓我認識的所有人都綁狗屎袋時，我終於敗下陣來。但很顯然，如果你綁都不綁就把袋子扔進垃圾桶，那你完全就是個混蛋。即使我輸了，我繼續不綁狗屎袋，對於指責我的人來說也算是一種“去你的”暗示。無論如何，我敢肯定我爲孩子們樹立了一個混球的形象。我想我還是需要綁狗屎袋的。3. Being Gross (Burping, Farting and Crap Jokes)
3. 行爲粗俗（打嗝、放屁和講爛俗的笑話）I have burped at the dinner table and laughed my head off for a few seconds before realizing I'm a mom and I can't do that. Not to mention I turn around and get upset if a kid does it. Not cool. I have no problem with it for around a solid five minutes before it starts to get out of control, and then I try to stop it but it's too late. I know, I give out mixed messages about this stuff and it has to stop, or the kids may turn out to be a perpetual teenage boy like myself.
我曾在晚宴上打過嗝，在我意識到自己已爲人母不能那樣做之前，我大笑了好幾秒。更別提如果是小孩子這樣做我會侷促不安傷心不已了。一點都不酷。在失控前我覺得一點都沒問題，持續時間足足有5分鐘，然後我試着停止但爲時已晚。我知道，對於這種事情我給出了混合消息，而這必須得停止了，要不然我的孩子長大後會成爲一個永遠長不大的青少年小夥兒，就像我一樣。
