那些我們在大學學不到的東西

In far too many classes that I have taught over the last 5 years, I have heard the refrain from students, “This is the first time we are learning this.” Or, even more disturbing, “I wish I had learned this earlier in my college career.”

在我五年多來的教學生涯中，我聽到太多次學生的這種心聲，他們忍不住想說，“這是我頭一次學到這些知識。”或更讓人感到懊惱的聲音，“我要是早一點，在大學時期就學到這些知識該多好！”

I’m not a teacher by training or official schooling. I’m an educator, certainly, but I’ve learned most of what I know from the school of hard knocks. Yes, I am blessed to have obtained an MBA—but the actionable, and repeatable, ideas I have gained over time have come from making mistakes and trying to figure out how to fix them. I’ve had only a couple of mentors throughout my career, and more often than not, I have been in situations where I was trying to figure out answers to questions that seemed impossible.

我並不是擁有專業的訓練或正式的職業培訓的那種正規教師，但卻是一個教育工作者，而我大部分的知識是從人生的坎坷之中學習到的。不錯，我很高興成功地拿到了我的MBA學位，但是，我長期積累獲得的那些真正具有可行性和可重複性的觀念，卻來源於不斷的犯錯和努力糾正錯誤的過程。在我目前的整個生涯中，我僅僅遇到屈指可數的幾名人生導師，更常出現的情況是，我發現自己身陷困局，孤立無援，似乎在爲不可解的問題苦苦尋覓解答。

What are some of the life lessons I would teach every college student—and career professional—if I had the chance? Here are seven of the most important lessons I fervently wish everyone could have the chance to learn:

假如我有機會大學生和參加工作的專業人士講授知識的話，我會教給他們哪些人生課程？以下就是七條最重要的人生建議，我強烈希望人人都有機會學到這些寶訓：

’s a waste of time and energy to find the person, people or organization to “blame” for your troubles. There are so many things in life that aren’t fair; I teach my kids it is the one four-letter word I never want to hear them utter. Why? Because you can’t right all of the wrongs, and you won’t ever be at peace if you are looking for fair. Does that mean you don’t try to change things or fix yourself? Of course not! But, more importantly, focus on those things you can control and you can influence. Spend minimal time on those things that are completely out of your control. Instead of blaming and finger-pointing, figure out what you can do to make a difference.

1. 人生一旦遇到麻煩，就直接想要去尋找可以歸咎的個體、他人或者組織，這完全是對時間和精力的浪費。人生於世，不公平者，十常八九。我教給孩子的一條鐵律就是，我絕不想從你們的嘴裏聽到公平這兩個字。爲什麼？因爲你不可能總是做到正其不正使其正，而且，假如你在尋求正義的話，你的人生永世不會得到心靈的平靜。那麼，這是否就表示你可以安於現狀，安於自己，不對自身和事情做任何改變？當然不是！只是，比這些更重要的事情是，多關注那些在你的控制和影響範圍之內的事情。至於那些不是你所能控制的事情，能離多遠就離多遠。與其浪費時間於怨天尤人，不如多想想自己能做些什麼，做出改變。

unication isn’t natural and doesn’t come easy to most people. Yes, we learn to talk at an early age and talking, as well as walking, is a natural function for most people. But talking and communicating are two different things. Communication takes focus and energy. It takes a sincere interest in the other person or people. It requires active and reflective listening. In other words, you need to actually care about others if you ever really want to communicate effectively.

2. 交流能力既不是出自天生，也不是人人可以輕鬆掌握的。不錯，我們的確很早的時候就開始學習講話，而且講話也正如走路一樣，是人人都具有的自然性質的功能。但是，講話和交流這二者之間，卻天差地別，迥然不同。交流要求專注，消耗精力。你對對方或是他人要有真摯的興趣。它要求你具有積極主動和適時迴應的聆聽能力。也就是說，如果你真的希望進行有效的交流的話，那麼，你需要確實關心對方。

n how to solve your own problems. Stuck in a rut? Many people are, at some point in their life. Not sure what to do next or how to get somewhere? It’s a common occurrence. The question is whether you spend your time lamenting how stuck you are, or you devote your attention to finding a new, creative way out of your problem. Problem-solving skills are a scarcity in most businesses. Be a problem-solver, not a problem-maker.

3.培養解決問題的能力。人生陷入了瓶頸期？很多人都會有這樣的經歷，這是人生必經的一個階段。下一步有什麼打算，如何讓人生的腳步繼續向前，對於這些都拿不定主意？這種情況同樣司空見慣。問題的關鍵在於，你是停在問題中，顧影自憐，自怨自艾，還是將精力投入到尋找新穎而又有獨創性的方法，努力走出泥潭。遺憾的是，在很多事務上，人們解決問題的技藝總是少得可憐。因此，做一個問題解決者，而不要做問題製造者。

me curious—about yourself, about other people and about the world around you. Don’t take things at face value or believe everything you hear. Ask “why?” as often as a three-year-old. Be interested in what’s underneath any information you hear, or learn. Where is it coming from? Why is it being passed along? What’s the background or intention? This is different from being paranoid—instead, it’s taking a sincere interest in learning. Life is a schoolhouse for those who want to learn and explore.

4.永葆好奇心——無論是對你自己，對他人，還是對你周圍的世界。不要膚淺地只看事物的表面現象，輕信你聽到的所有事情。你要像三歲幼童一樣，追問“爲什麼”。對於你聽到或是瞭解到的任何信息，都要打破沙鍋問到底。它是從哪來的？爲什麼會得到散播？它的背景或意圖是什麼？這種好奇不同於偏執狂，相反，這是一種對於學習的真摯興趣。僅僅對於那些有學習和探索願望的人來說，人生處處皆學問這句話纔是真實的。

r stop networking or making connections. For many people the world is small; it’s their family or the place of work they visit each day. There is a world of people out there to connect with, to learn from and to engage with. You don’t have to become a social butterfly, flitting from one event to another, but it’s important to have connections and contacts. Keep in touch with people. Be interested in their lives and share information about yours. You never know when you will need a friend or colleague to help you somewhere along the way.

5.永遠不要停止編織人際關係網或更新與他人的聯繫。對很多人來說，這個世界狹隘得可憐。也就是他的家庭加上他每個工作日工作的地方那麼大而已。但實際上，外面有整個世界的人等着你去與他們進行聯繫，從他們那裏學習，或者參與並理解他們的世界。這並不是要求你成爲一個交際能手，遊走在各種交際場所。但是，保持與外界的聯繫和接觸，這是異常重要的。保持與別人的聯絡，關心他們的生活的情況，並與他們分享你的生活狀況。在人生的旅途中，你根本無法預料，在生活的哪一個方面，你可能需要朋友或同事的幫助。

e your talents. Everyone has a gift to offer. It’s a waste to keep your gifts hidden from the world. Find out what you are good at, or the talent you can share, and actively seek places to share those gifts.

6.分享你的天才。人人都有屬於自己的天賦，把你的天賦展現給世界，否則，這將是一種巨大的浪費。找到你自己的強項，或是你可以拿出來分享的天才，然後就要積極主動地尋求展現天賦的一切機會和場合。

up being a naysayer. There are plenty of people who can tell you why something won’t work, why it isn’t possible and how negative to be. There are numerous newspapers and websites to tell you how dire circumstances are, and to encourage you to just give up. Instead, refuse to believe the naysayers and don’t participate in their game. Find the positive in every day. Simply being able to walk, talk and breathe is a gift. Be a glass-half-full kind of person even when circumstances seem to tell you otherwise.

7.拒絕做否定主義者。總有無數這樣的人，他們會告訴你爲什麼這件事行不通，爲什麼那件事不可能，人活着是多麼無意義。還有大量的報紙和網站向你宣揚，現實是多麼糟糕，並鼓勵你早早放棄希望。與此相反，你要拒絕否定主義者的這一套理論，遠離他們的一切活動。發現每一天當中積極向上的那一面。僅僅只是行走，說話和呼吸的能力，都是上天賜給我們的珍貴禮物。即使現實情況真的很糟糕，也同樣要做一個積極樂觀面對這一切的人。

The most learned person can only gain so much from reading books, from laboratory testing and from sitting in class. Real learning comes from experiencing the world and seeing your place in it. Try and apply any one of these seven tips to forward your life and career.

最擅於讀書的人，他們獲取最豐富知識的地方，僅僅侷限於讀書，做實驗和課堂上老師的教誨。而真正的學習則來自於親身去經驗這個世界，同時找到自己在人世間的位置。嘗試並運用這七個人生建議，讓你的生活和職業更上一層樓。