學習法語 讓疲憊的心靈得到慰藉

JACKSON, MISS. — I once spent two years as a high school French teacher. I took the post because I was divorcing and needed a paycheck. The school took me even though I had no teaching experience because, under Mississippi law, if a school is hard up for a teacher, it can hire anyone the state designates an “expert citizen.”

密西西比州.傑克遜城 -- 我曾在高中當過兩年的法語教師。我之所以幹這份工作是因爲我正要離婚需要錢。我沒有教學經歷，而這所學校堅持聘用我的原因是根據密西西比州的法律，如果一所學校缺一位教師，它就可以聘用任何一位州政府指派的“專家市民”。

For some reason, I found the citizen part personally touching. It conveyed a sense of responsibility packed along with my new, free Blue Cross insurance card and pad of pink detention slips. Yes, though I felt failed and foolish starting over at 48, my credentials were a consolation prize. They said I was an expert when it came to French drills for ninth graders, even if I was not an expert at staying married.

因爲某種原因，去盡一個公民的責任打動了我。它和免費的藍十字保險卡及幾張粉紅色的留校說明書（老師罰學生用的填寫表格，譯者），代表着一種責任。沒錯，我知道在48歲時想東山再起是迫不得已且愚不可及，但我的學歷卻給了我信心。他們說我教九年級學生法語絕對是個專家，可我連自己的婚姻都保不住。

I quit in 2006, and went back to my old day job of journalism. But not long afterward, a friend asked me to give French lessons to an acquaintance of hers. The woman had just divorced. As part of rebooting her life, she wanted to learn French. I reflexively said yes.

我在2006年辭去了這份工作，回到傳媒業幹老本行。但沒過多久，一位朋友請我給她的一個熟人教法語。那位女士剛離婚不久。作爲重新開始生活的一個內容，她想學學法語。我隨口便答應了。

She came to my house the next Saturday morning. She was 53, with long brown hair and a job dealing with cellphone towers. I taught her the ABCs and how to introduce herself. I found myself asking her about her divorce, and telling her about mine. The next Saturday, we practiced “ça va?” and “merci.” I had more divorce questions for her and some thoughts to share with her about mine.

她在第二個週六的早上便來到了我家。她53歲了，留着棕色的長髮，工作是管理移動通訊的基站。我給她從ABC講起，教她怎樣用法語介紹自己。我詢問了她離婚的事情，也把自己離婚的情況講給她聽。到了下一個週六，我教她用法語說“你好嗎？”，還有“謝謝”等。我想問她更多離婚的情況，也想和她講我離婚的事。

This was more fun than my high school job. Word spread about the French lessons. More people asked to come. I organized classes at my dining-room table and named my business Le Salon Français. Soon, I had four weekly classes coming to my house, one at Thursday lunch and three on weeknights.

這比我在高中教課有意思多了。我教人學法語的事不脛而走，越來越多的人來找我學。我在餐桌上辦起了法語學習班，並把我的授課稱爲“客廳法語學習班”。很快，我每週要在家裏開四次課，一次是在週四的午飯時間，另三次是在週末晚上。

It was time to buy textbooks. My old school district, like most in the area, still used the 1997 textbook “Discovering French,” full of white teenagers like Isabelle and Jean-Paul, outdated even then, who party down in pleated pants, shaking their manes of moussed hair to the beat of their Walkman cassettes. Skits on the accompanying videos featured teenagers’ soirees, throbbing with ’80s pop on the record player.

現在該買教科書了。和這個地方大部分學區一樣，我所在的老學區，依然用着1997年出版的教科書--“發現法語”，裏頭都是一些諸如伊薩貝爾和讓.保羅這樣的白人孩子，這在當年就已經過時了，他們穿着褶襉褲參加聚會，跟着隨身聽裏頭的音樂拼命晃動着用摩斯固定着髮型的腦袋。在附屬視頻教材上表演的滑稽節目介紹了青少年的社交活動，他們隨着錄音機裏播放的八十年代流行音樂瘋狂起舞。

Mississippi perpetually stands near the bottom in public-school spending, and the time-frozen textbook reflected it. It seemed like the rest of the country was through with this publication, judging from the number of copies I found for sale online. I could buy them for $2.95 each. Lots of additional used “Discovering French” paraphernalia were out there. I presume they were semi-fenced goods from French teachers in other poor states like Louisiana and Nevada. Some teacher must have been quietly liquidating the contents of her room’s book closet to sweeten her budget for a summer trip. One week, an extra set of the videos came up on eBay. I was outbid, interestingly. I have to wonder who else could possibly have wanted them.

密西西比州花在公立學校上的支出一直都是最少的，從教科書一成不變就可見一斑。我看了看網上出售的幾種教課書，似乎美國其他地方早就不用這份教材了。一本只賣2.95美元。許多用過的“發現法語”附屬教材也都能買到。我相信這些都是其他比較窮的州，如路易斯安那和內華達州法語教師們的半私人物品。有些教師肯定處理掉了書櫃裏的一些書，爲暑假外出旅遊湊些費用。一次，另外一套視頻教材出現在了易趣網上。我趕緊拍了下來。我都懷疑是否還有人會要這種東西。

I don’t think people came to my classes for “Discovering French.” I think I was drawing in other wrecked people via spiritual attraction. Most of my students were women in their 50s, getting over one kind of trauma or another, as I was. Among 16 students, there were seven divorces, including one that involved coming out of the closet; a few breakdowns; two murders of loved ones; cancer; rehab; and caretaker responsibilities for a bedridden sister.

我知道那些找我學習的人並不是爲了來學“發現法語”。我相信是精神上的需要吸引了那些受過挫折的人。我的大部分學生都是五十多歲的中年婦女，和我一樣，她們遭遇過各種挫折。在16名學生中，有7位離異，其中一位還公開了自己的性取向；有幾位精神幾近崩潰；兩位殺了自己的親人；癌症患者；戒毒的；還有一位負責照顧臥牀不起的姐妹。

Did I mention that our lessons paused for two weeks for me to have an emergency craniotomy, or that my dog, Sonny, was dying of cancer himself under the dining-room table?

我有沒有講過我曾停課兩個星期，去做了一個急診穿顱手術，否則我的愛犬--索尼就會躺在餐桌下因癌症而孤獨死去？

We progressed from pronunciation to the gender of nouns to the present tense. We paused to hear one another’s updates. No matter if we told time in lesson four or play-ordered sandwiches in lesson nine, we always had time for the latest when it came to someone’s divorce, child custody situation, criminal appeal or change of medication.

我們從名詞性的發音學到一般現在時。我們停下來了解彼此的學習進展。無論我們是在第四課講怎樣說時間，還是在第九課講怎樣訂三明治，只要說到某個人的離異，孩子監護，刑事上訴或換藥治病等事情，我們都會轉而來聊這個話題。

To tell the truth, the foreign-language gene was recessive in my salons. Sometimes we’d cover the same material three weeks in a row, and it didn’t seem any more familiar to them the third time than the first. After a year, we’d made it only to page 106, lesson 15. It was where the French I class at my high school would have been by January.

實際上，學習班學法語的時間在逐步減少。有時候我們連續三週都在學同樣的內容，而且學生們在第三次學同樣的內容時一點也不比第一次學時熟悉。一年後，我們只學到了106頁的第十五課。這是我在高中教法語時在一月份應該達到的進度。

My oldest student was 83. The class wasn’t easy for her because her hearing aid crackled a lot. One week I realized that I was turning textbook pages for her during class. I did it as automatically as I used to cut the meat on my daughters’ plates, never slowing the conversation.

我學生中年齡最大的已經83歲。上課對她不是件易事，因爲她的助聽器已經破舊不堪。一次上課時，我意識到自己在幫她翻書頁。我這不經意的舉動就像（在吃飯時）幫女兒切盤子裏的肉那樣自然，根本不影響我講課。

But my students weren’t discouraged by their progress. Nor was I.

但我的學生們並沒有因爲學習進度慢而感到沮喪，我也沒有。

“Guess what I did yesterday,” my 83-year-old student asked me one day. “I counted the cars that drove down the street — in French. I counted to 126!” She wore little round black-framed glasses like a hip architect and a pressed white blouse. She smiled and lifted her chin. “Of course, I’ve always said French things to myself. I’ve had a spiritual reading, and the lady said I’ve lived several lives in France. That’s why it’s all so natural for me.”

有一天，那位83歲的學生問我：“猜猜我昨天干了什麼？”"我數了從街上開過的汽車數，用法語。我數到了126！“她戴着一副圓圓的黑邊框眼鏡，像一位時尚的建築設計師，身穿一件緊身白色襯衫。她笑得揚起了下巴。”當然，我總是用法語對自己說話。我算過一次命，那位女士說我前幾輩子都是法國人。這就是爲什麼所有的東西對我都是那麼自然。“

One student said, “I’m dreaming in French now.” This was great news, though maybe a little curious, since her class had a repertory of exactly 12 verbs and hadn’t gotten to sentences yet. Another responded, “When I pray in the mornings, I do it in French.”

還有一位學生說：”我現在用法語做夢。“這是個了不起的事情，雖然有點兒不可思議，因爲她上的那個班一共只學了12個動詞，還沒有開始學造句。另一個學員則回答說：”我早上祈禱時，都是用法語。“

But perhaps the most rewarding response was that of a woman — let’s call her Elaine — whose French bliss was even simpler. All she had to do was say “un jus d’orange.” She said it over and over. The sensuality of the syllables transported her. She’d throw back her chin as her eyes rolled back in her head, halfway home on the Meg Ryan spectrum of pleasure. French phonetics can do that.

但最讓我受感動的是一位女學員（暫且稱她爲伊萊恩）--學法語給她帶來的愉悅更樸實。她只會用法語說”一杯橙汁“。她反覆說這句話。這個句子的音節產生的愉悅感染了她。她眼睛向上翻，揚起下顎，像梅格.瑞恩那樣忘懷快樂。法語的發音居然有這樣的功效。

When I declared my marriage over and myself a French teacher, I figured all I had to do was stay a mere 30 minutes ahead of my students to come off as proficient enough to teach them. That worked for ninth graders, but in adult education, I don’t kid myself that I know anything more than my classes in terms of the core curriculum, which is this: French can save you. So can particle physics, furniture refinishing or any other endeavor you take up while the world spins on. Compartmentalize a spot in your reeling head, and that little space becomes a refuge, full of possibility. At least for one hour a week, anyway.

在我公開我已經離異，自己是一名法語教師時，我想我只需做到比我的學生領先30分鐘，能表現出自己足以勝任教他們就行了。這個辦法對那些九年級的孩子管用，但在教成人時，我不認爲我對法語教科書的知識比我的學生多，那就是：法語可以拯救你。只要生活繼續，粒子物理學，油漆傢俱或你從事任何工作都有這樣的作用。在你眩暈的大腦裏劃出一片區域，把這一小塊地方當成避難所，讓它裝滿各種可能。不管怎樣，一個星期能有一小時這樣做就可以了。