經典科幻文學:《 再見 多謝你們的魚》第27章2

Good ring to it. What did you say?
I may have met him. Complains all the time, yes?
Incredible! You met the Rain God?
If it’s the same guy. I told him to stop complaining and show someone his book.
There was an impressed pause from Murray Bost Henson’s end of the phone.
Well, you did a bundle. An absolute bundle has absolutely been done by you. Listen, do you know how much a tour operator is paying that guy not to go to Malaga this year? I mean forget irrigating the Sahara and boring stuff like that, this guy has a whole new career ahead of him, just avoiding places for money. The man’s turning into a monster, Arthur, we might even have to make him win the bingo.
Listen, we may want to do a feature on you, Arthur, the Man Who Made the Rain God Rain. Got a ring to it, eh?
A nice one, but…
We may need to photograph you under a garden shower, but that’ll be OK. Where are you?
Er, I’m in Islington. Listen, Murray…
Islington!
Yes…
Well, what about the real weirdness of the week, the real seriously loopy stuff. You know anything about these flying people?
No.
You must have. This is the real seethingly crazy one. This is the real meatballs in the batter. Locals are phoning in all the time to say there’s this couple who go flying nights. We’ve got guys down in our photo labs working through the night to put together a genuine photograph. You must have heard.
No.
Arthur, where have you been? Oh, space, right, I got your quote. But that was months ago. Listen, it’s night after night this week, my old cheesegrater, right on your patch. This couple just fly around the sky and start doing all kinds of stuff. And I don’t mean looking through walls or pretending to be box girder bridges. You don’t know anything?
No.
Arthur, it’s been almost inexpressibly delicious conversing with you, chumbum, but I have to go. I’ll send the guy with the camera and the hose. Give me the address, I’m ready and writing.
Listen, Murray, I called to ask you something.
I have a lot to do.
I just wanted to find out something about the dolphins.
No story. Last year’s news. Forget ‘em. They’re gone.
It’s important.
Listen, no one will touch it. You can’t sustain a story, you know, when the only news is the continuing absence of whatever the story’s about. Not our territory anyway, try the SunDays. Maybe they’ll run a little “Whatever Happened to “Whatever Happened to the Dolphins”” story in a couple of years, around August. But what’s anybody going to do now? “Dolphins still gone”? “Continuing Dolphin Absence”? “Dolphins Further Days Without Them”? The story dies, Arthur. It lies down and kicks its little feet in the air and presently goes to the great golden spike in the sky, my old fruitbat.
Murray, I’m not interested in whether it’s a story. I just want to find out how I can get in touch with that guy in California who claims to know something about it. I thought you might know.

“好一個響兒啊。你說什麼？”
“我可能遇見過他。總是在抱怨，對吧？”
“難以置信！你遇到過雨神？”
“如果就是那個人的話。我讓他別抱怨了，把他的本子給別人看看。”
默裏?波斯特?漢森在電話另一端出現了一陣感動的停頓。
“好！你做了一捆啊！絕對的一捆絕對被你給搞出來了。聽着，你知道有個旅遊官員給了這個傢伙多少錢讓他今年別去馬拉加嗎？我是說，即使不算上灌溉撒哈拉之類的枯燥活，這個傢伙將來也有了一個全新的工作了，只要不去什麼地方就可以拿錢。這人已經變成了個怪物，阿瑟，我們甚至可能應該用他去贏賭博。
“聽着，我們可能要給你做一期欄目，《阿瑟，讓雨神下雨的人》。有個響兒吧，嗯？”
“挺好的，可是……”
“我們可能要在花園水灑裏給你照相，不過沒關係的。你在哪兒？”
“呃，我在伊斯靈頓。聽我說，默裏……”
“伊斯靈頓！”
“對……”
“好吧，那本週真正的怪事呢，真正實在發瘋的事兒。關於那些會飛的人你知道什麼？”
“不知道。”
“你肯定知道。這個是真正瘋狂的事兒。這是麪糊裏面真正的肉丸子。當地居民一直打來電話說有這麼一對兒晚上出去飛。我們已經讓我們攝影室裏的人去徹夜工作，好弄一張真正的照片來。你肯定聽說了。”
“沒有。”
“阿瑟，你上哪兒去了？哦，太空，對了，我已經有你的親口證實了。但那是幾個月之前了。聽着，這是這個星期每個晚上都發生的事兒，我的老奶酪磨碎器，就在你那塊兒。這一對就在天上到處飛，還開始做各種事情。而且我說的不是穿牆透視和假裝稱箱梁橋。你什麼都不知道？”
“不知道。”
“阿瑟，跟你聊一聊實在是難以形容地味道好極了，可是我得走了。我會派人帶相機和水管來的。給我地址，我準備好開寫了。”
“聽着，默裏，我打電話來要問你點事兒。”
“我有很多事情要做。”
“我只是想問點關於海豚的事兒。”
“沒有了。去年的新聞了。忘了它們吧。它們不見了。”
“這很重要。”
“聽我說，沒人會關心這個。你沒法維持一個報導，你知道，如果唯一的消息就是這個報導相關的一切全都沒了。至少在我們這裏不行，試試星期日的報紙。也許幾年內大概在八月份，他們會來點《無論〈無論海豚發生了什麼〉發生了什麼》之類的文章。可是現在要大家怎麼辦呢？《海豚仍然不見》？《海豚繼續消失》？《海豚——離開他們的日子在繼續》？這個報導完蛋了，阿瑟。它已經躺下了蹬了腿了，現在已經成了天上的行星了，我的老狐蝠。”
“默裏，我對那能不能成爲報導不感興趣。我只想知道我該怎麼才能聯繫上加利福尼亞那個宣稱自己知道一些相關的事兒的人。我想你可能知道。”