佳作欣賞：愛在那個夏天

愛在那個夏天

She was fond of Strauss, KFC, and Brazil Espresso. Dressed in decent grey professional skirt suit, she was busy working in a modernized office mansion. That was her life before meeting me. Ever since our dating all those have vanished.

It was in 1997 when I started my so-called "great business". She followed me wholeheartedly. That summer came early. Flowers dyed the town dazzlingly red. We stayed in the outskirts, in a small room of a condo known as an illegal structure of this city. Wind blew through all the four walls into the room, then home of her and me.

In order to save money, we walked to our store downtown every day. Lunches were always simple like doggie food, worth no more than 1.5 yuan for each of us. We walked back home at the end of the day, so beat that all we wanted was collapse into bed. It seemed that we made it through one whole year this way.

Those days were bitter. Business was my totem; love was her belief. Both supported us from falling apart.

We walked home late one day. She sat at the bed edge, washing her feet in a bucket on the floor. I went to the landlord for boiled water to make instant noodle. When I got back carrying a thermos bottle, she fell back into the bed sound asleep, feet in water. She must have been extremely exhausted. One of her hands was under her body. I heard her light snore.

I tiptoed to the bed and tried to flip her over so that she would be in a more comfortable position. I stared at her face, which was a young and pretty one and yet so wearied and exhausted.

I saw one mosquito on this pretty face.

That summer my city was like a huge steamer box. We put off one day to another the plan to buy a mosquito net, just to save money. I knew mosquitos were flying all about in our room, but I seemed not to be bothered. So exhausted when I got back each day, I doubted if I would wake up even though someone cut a piece of flesh off my body, let alone mosquito bites.

That mosquito stayed at her forehead, sipping her blood greedily. She was still sound asleep, not feeling anything. Perhaps she was in a sweet dream in which our business was turning better. There came an abrupt throb of my heart. I reached to wave my hand at the mosquito. But it was not at all scared. I wanted to bat it to death. I raised my hand up high, but it could not descend. I was afraid of waking her up — she was really worn out.

There lay a weak mosquito between her and me, doing harm to her right now. I froze there, hand in the air. I did not know what to do. I was worried. Suddenly, I began to get deeply fed up with myself. I hated me.

On the night of that summer, I stood by her side, feeling extremely guilty of her, of our love.

The mosquito finally flew away. I forgave it, but I could never forgive myself.

In the daytime I went by a peddler's stall and saw a pink mosquito net priced 16 yuan. That amount could be spent on a lot of dealings at that time. I headed back home without buying it. After she fell asleep, I got out of bed, stood by her side, and waved away mosquitos with a hard paper board as a weapon. I was her temporary mosquito net all that night through. After a while she woke up to find what I was doing. She gazed at me, and ten minutes later tears flooded her face.

The next day saw a pink mosquito net in my room. We were both silent working together to fix it on our bed. In my mind I had presented the net as a gift to her. I did not tell her that it was a gift. I was feeling that it was like a rose in full bloom. It was my compensation to love. Then I realized that nothing could really make it up. It was her birthday that day.

Years went by. And I made 160,000 yuan, or precisely we made 160,000 yuan. We did a lot of shopping, but never a mosquito net any more. We did not need any mosquito net. We live in a very well decorated apartment, where no mosquitos could fly in.

Nevertheless, I always feel that all these money, and all my belongings are far less important than the 16-yuan mosquito net, which was invaluable to her, to our love.

That summer was past. We had no choice but to love each other.

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我知道她聽施特勞斯，吃肯德基，喝巴西現磨，穿着得體的灰色套裙在寫字樓裏自在地忙碌。但那只是以前。後來，她與我相戀，這一切便消失了。

記得是1997年。那一年，我開始了自己所謂的事業，她跟着我，義無反顧。那個夏天來得特別早，花兒染得城市一片彤紅。我們住在市郊，一個屬於非法建築的小屋，四壁透風。那是我們暫時的家。

爲了省錢，每天我們步行至市區的店鋪，中午買兩份一塊五毛錢一碗的涼皮，晚上再步行回來，累得骨頭散架。好像，整整一年，都是那樣熬過來的。

那是一段艱苦和心酸的日子。那時，事業是我的圖騰，愛情是她的信仰。那是支撐我們沒有倒下去的全部。

有一次，記得很晚了，我們步行至臨時的家，她坐在牀沿洗腳，我去房東那裏討開水泡麪。當我提着暖水瓶返回時，我發現，她已經睡着了。

她保持着一種疲勞至極的姿勢，兩隻腳仍在臉盆裏泡着，人卻已斜倒在牀上。她的身體壓着自己的一隻胳膊，於是，有了輕微的鼾聲。

我輕輕地走過去，想翻動一下她的身軀，讓她睡得更舒服。我盯着她的臉，那是一張年輕美麗的臉，此時卻寫滿疲憊。

在這張臉上，我發現了一隻蚊子。

那個夏天，城市像個巨大的蒸籠，可爲了省錢，我們一天天向後推着買蚊帳的時間。我知道屋裏到處都是蚊子，但我好像感覺不到。那樣勞累的身體，睡下了，別說蚊子，切下一塊肉，我都懷疑自己能不能醒來。

蚊子趴在她的額頭，貪婪地吸食着她的血。她睡得很香，毫無察覺，也許正做着生意好轉的夢。我的心猛地抽搐了一下，伸出手，揮動着，但蚊子對我的恐嚇並不理睬。想用手拍死它，手揚着，卻不忍拍下去。我怕驚醒了她——她已經那樣地疲憊。

我與她之間，有一隻弱小的蚊子，此刻正對她實施着傷害。我站在那裏，就那樣揚着手，愣着，矛盾着，心焦着，突然間，我對自己產生出一種深深的厭惡。

在那個夏天的夜晚，我站在那裏。那是一種極端虧欠的感覺。對她，對愛情。

蚊子飛走了，我原諒了蚊子，卻不能夠原諒自己。

白天經過一個小攤，我注意到一個粉色蚊帳的標籤：16元。這16元在當時，可以做許多事。那天我一夜沒睡，我拿着一個硬紙板揮動着，像一名士兵，不讓蚊蟲靠近她的身體。我成了她臨時的蚊帳。後來她醒了，醒後的她盯着我看，10分鐘後，我突然發現她淚流滿面。

第二天，小屋裏掛上了粉色的蚊帳。掛蚊帳時，我們一直沒有說話。我是把蚊帳當成禮物送給她的，但我沒說。我覺得那像一朵盛開的玫瑰，就算是愛情的補償。但我覺得，其實什麼也補償不了。那天，也是她的生日。

再後來，有一段時間，我有了16萬，或者說我們有了16萬，我們買了很多東西，卻沒有再買一牀蚊帳。我們已經不再需要蚊帳了，裝修嚴密的房間，已經飛不進一隻蚊蟲。

可是，我總覺得，這些錢，這些東西，遠不如那個曾經16元錢的蚊帳，對她有價值，或者說，對我們的愛情，有價值。

那個夏天過去了，我們別無選擇，只能相愛。