趣味英語冷笑話6篇

下面是本站小編整理的趣味英語冷笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　趣味英語冷笑話：萬能的聖誕老人並非啥都知道

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

一個女孩爬到聖誕老人的膝蓋上，聖誕老人例行公事的問：“今年聖誕節你想要什麼呢?”

孩子瞪大眼睛驚訝的望着聖誕老人一分鐘都沒講話，然後喘着氣說到：“你沒收到我的電子郵件嗎?(我想要什麼都寫上面了，萬能的聖誕老人咋能不知道捏)”

　　趣味英語冷笑話：Psychiatrist 精神病醫生

Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

傑瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在牀下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時間，”醫生說，“每週來三次，我會治好你。”“費用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”傑瑞答道。六個月後醫生和傑瑞在街上相遇了，“爲什麼你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎麼做到的?”“他讓我把牀腿鋸掉。現在那沒人了!”

　　趣味英語冷笑話：兄弟倆的對話 Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

父親在哪兒?

兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”

“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”

　　趣味英語冷笑話：a neuropathy

Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley. When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head. Asked one plus a few zero. Terrified young people, thought for a long time. Answer, equals two. Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate. And then get pulled in his arms, said a cold, you know too much ...

有一個神經病，不知道從哪裏弄來了一把手槍，他走在一條小黑衚衕裏。突然遇上一個年輕人，神經病二話不說將其按在地上用槍指着他的頭。問道，一加一得幾。年輕人嚇壞了，沉思了很久。回答，等於二。神經病毫不猶豫的打死了他。然後把搶拽在懷裏，冰冷的說了一句，你知道的太多了…

　　趣味英語冷笑話：

In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"

"To be deaf," replied the boy.

"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.

"Why, sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.

在一次音樂學院的入學考試中，老師問其中一個男孩："音樂家最重要的生理素質是什麼?"

"耳聾，"男孩答道。

"胡說!"老師氣憤地說。

"怎麼了，先生!難道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音樂家貝多芬是個聾子嗎?"男孩輕蔑地反問道。

　　趣味英語冷笑話：不會犯兩次同樣的錯誤

Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?

Girl: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

男孩：嗨，我們之前是不是約會過，是一次還是兩次，我忘記了。

女孩：應該只有一次吧，我從不犯兩次同樣的錯誤。