四則爆笑趣味英語笑話

下面是本站小編整理的四則爆笑趣味英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

經典英語笑話：這是個法律問題

A slender, delicate, immaculately dressed Englishman was explaining to the visiting American about British law.

一位身材修長，舉止文雅，穿着光鮮的英國人向來訪的美國人解釋英國法律。

"You know, homosexuality was once consideredso heinous in Britain that it was punishable by execution.

“你知道嗎?在英國，同性戀從前被認爲是罪大惡極，可判處極刑，

Only 100 years ago, it was reduced to a misdemeanor,

一百年前，被減爲行爲失檢之輕微罪刑。

and about 50 years ago, decriminalized altogether. . .

大約五十年前則完全不觸犯刑法……。

Personally, I shan't be satisfied till it's mandatory! "

不過就我個人而言，非要等到法令強制大家都得同性戀時，我纔會開心。”

　經典英語笑話：驕傲的老爸

The concerned father was puzzled because his son s grades had been dropping steadily while he was at college,

一位關心兒子的老爸對於念大學的兒子成績每況愈下一直想不懂，

so he called the dean to find out what was wrong.

因此他拜訪了學院的院長，想了解究竟問題在哪裏。

"Weil, sir," replied the dean, who always tried to be diplomatic,

說話總是講求圓滑的院長回答說：

"I've got some good news and some bad news.

“先生，我有好消息和壞消息要告訴你。

The bad news is that your son's become the most flagrant homosexual on campus,

壞消息是令郎乃是聞名校內的同性戀者，

and spends all his time chasing after the lads on the football and basketball teams. "

他成天只知道追求足球隊和籃球隊的男孩子。

"My God, that's horrible!"

“我的老天爺，太可怕了!”

"But the good news is he's just been elected Queen of the Homecoming Parade ! "

“但好消息是他剛被選爲歡迎球隊返校遊行的皇后!”

經典英語笑話：等明年再說

The woman was reading the newspaper as she and her husband were eating breakfast.

一位女士和她先生正在用早餐，她邊吃邊看報紙。

"Did you hear about this, dear?" she asked.

“親愛的，你聽過這則新聞嗎?”她問道。

"It seems a man traded his wife for seasontickets to the Spurs.

“似乎是一個男的爲了看馬刺隊的比賽，用他太太跟人換了球季的門票。

You wouldn't do a thing like that, would you, sweetheart?"

你不會那麼做吧，親愛的?”

"No way," answered the husband.

“我纔不會那麼傻呢!”先生答道。

"The season's almost half over."

“今年球季幾乎都過了一大半了."

經典英語笑話：真是恩愛的一對

Two women friends were having tea.

兩個女人正在喝茶，

Said one to the other,

其中一位對另一位說道：

"I've been trying to reach my lawyer for a week ... "

“我已經花了一個禮拜找我的律師，….。”

"Oh, please don't mention lawyers to me" interrupted the recent widow,

“哦，拜託別再向我提律師的事了，”那位剛死去丈夫的女人插嘴道，

I've had so much trouble settling my husbands estate that I sometimes wish he hadn't died! "

“我在處理我先生遺留的房地產時遭遇到好多麻煩，有時候我真希望他沒死就好了。