趣味英語冷笑話

下面是本站小編整理的一些趣味英語冷笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　趣味英語冷笑話：玫瑰

On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.

Are these for your wife, sir? she asked.

Yes, I said.

For her birthday? she asked.

No, I replied.

For your anniversary?

No, I said again.

As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, I hope she forgives you.

一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些剛剪下來的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走進店裏，一個年輕的女售貨員跟我打了個招呼。

先生，這些是送給你妻子的嗎?她問道。

是的，我說。

她的生日?她問。

不是，我回答。

你們的結婚紀念日?

不是，我又答道。

當我將找回的錢裝進口袋，朝門口走去時，那年輕的女人衝我喊道：希望她能原諒你。

　　趣味英語冷笑話：Part-time Job業餘工作

When my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.

"How was your first day?" I asked.

"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."

Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"

"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"

我兒子在一所中學讀二年級時，在一家超級市場找到了一份包裝商品的業餘工作。他滿面笑容地回到了家。

“第一天感覺如何?”我問。

“好極了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟許多漂亮的女孩子講了話。”

由於斯蒂芬不善言談，我問道：“你跟他們說了些什麼?”

“你是喜歡紙包裝還是塑料包裝?”

　　趣味英語冷笑話：Who Discovered Australia?誰發現了澳大利亞?

Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.

Johnny: It's there, sir.

Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

Sammy: Johnny, sir.

老師：約翰尼，在地圖上給我找出澳大利亞在什麼地方。

約翰尼：先生，在這兒。

老師：對了。薩默，你來回答我是誰發現了澳大利亞?

薩默：先生，是約翰尼。

　　趣味英語冷笑話：Lucky Mother 幸運的母親

A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and looked at her mother for a few moments with Pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?

一位年輕的母親認爲，世界上還有許多受飢餓的人，浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑麪包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬塗在麪包上。母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說道，露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃麪包加黃油，或者麪包加果醬，從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬。露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然後她柔聲說：您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎?

　　趣味英語冷笑話：Pirate's Treasure 海盜的財富

"Ten steps from the porch(門廊) and twenty steps from the rose bushes," growled Bluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. "There be treasure there! Aawrgh."

So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high.

He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher.

He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore." Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought "That pirate lied to me!"

But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped(緊抱，扣緊) her hands and smiled a smile from here to Sunday. "Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted a rhododendron(杜鵑) bush planted just there. Here's $5.00 for digging that hole."

　　趣味英語冷笑話：A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒

Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"

Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"

婚後已久，我丈夫往往在一個特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我們結婚35週年紀念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“親愛的，你意識到我們在這兩個相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?”

他放下報紙，眼睛直直地望着我：“因此，你想交換座位嗎?