趣味英語笑話四則

下面是本站小編整理的趣味英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　趣味英語笑話：向你的煩惱說再見

A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

一位猶太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列隊進入天國之門。

Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians have despised and reviled me. "

那位猶太人對聖彼得說：“坦白講，能到這裏讓我蠻驚訝的，我一輩子一直都受到_的輕視和侮辱。”

"That's a great sorrow to us," said St. Peter, "but you won-t find that kind of prejudice here. Here, all are truly equal. Just spell God and you may enter. "

“我們實在感到非常遺憾，”聖彼得說，“但我們這裏沒有那樣的偏見，這裏每個人都完全平等，只要拼出G。d這個詞你就能進入天堂。”

Next,the Indian came forward and said,"r,all my life I suffered from poverty anddiscrimination,and could only live in a I truly be free here?"

那名猶太人正確地拼出 God後，被招入門內。 接着印第安人走向前說道“聖彼得，我一輩子飽受貧窮和種族歧視的打擊，而且只能住在居留地內，我在這裏能得到真正的自由嗎?”

"My son, your troubles are over. Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "

“小兄弟，你的煩惱已經結束了，只要拼出God這個詞，你就能像小鳥一樣自由自在。”

The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.

印第安人照着做，不久也被引入天堂。

Next, the black man strode forward. "St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on me and treated me unfairly. That won't happen here, will it?"

接着那名黑人跨步向前，“聖彼得，”他說道，“一輩子人們都瞧不起我，不公平對待我，在這裏那些事不會發生吧!”

"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here. Just spell" onomatopoeia "and the Kingdom of Heaven is yours "

“當然不會，我的弟兄，我們不會做那樣的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia這個詞，天堂之國就是你的了!”

趣味英語笑話：聽到那樣真令人難過

A foreign visitor touring the great American West came across an Indian with his ear pressed to the ground.

一位外國遊客到美國大西部遊覽，碰到一個印第安人把耳朵緊貼在地上。

"What are you listening for?" he asked.

"你在聽什麼呢?"他詢問道。

"Stagecoach pass about half hour ago.

“一輛馬車半小時前曾經過這裏。”

"How can you tell?"

“你怎麼知道呢?'’

"Broke my neck. "

“我的脖子被撞斷了。”

趣味英語笑話：黑人英語

The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnant with her ninth. Finally she convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.

一對黑人夫婦已有八個小孩，而魯拉·梅又懷了第九個小孩,最後她說服了她先生去做男性絕育手術。

On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husband putting on a tuxedo and getting into a limousine for the short ride to the hospital.

手術的早晨，她驚訝地看見她老公穿着禮服，乘坐一輛禮車到不遠的醫院去。

"Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.

"親愛的，這是怎麼一回事啊?魯拉·梅問道。"

"Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important.

"寶貝，如果你想當名大人物的話，就要讓人一看就知道你很重要!"

趣味英語笑話：財政學的一課

Smith was the manager of a construction company and was taking bids on a new project. The first bidder was a Polish company, and their representativeoffered to do the job for $ 400,000.

"That seems reasonable," said Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown on that?"

史密斯是一家建設公司的經理，他正負責一個新工程的招標案。第一位投標的是一家波蘭公司，他們的代表出價四十萬元接那個案子。“似乎很合理，”史密斯說。“你可不可以給我一張明細表呢?”

"Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. "

“當然沒問題，”波蘭公司代表說道，“廿萬元工資，廿萬元材科費。”

Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction',event)">Construction Company, which bid $ 800,000.

下一個出標的是美國標準建設公司，他們以八十萬元競標。

"Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "What's the breakdown?"

“嗯，這個價錢似乎有些偏高，”史密斯說道。“你們有明細表嗎?’

" $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. "

“四十萬元材料，四十萬元工資。”

"I'll get back to you. "

“我以後再同你聯繫。”

Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith's office.

最後可翰·高斯坦·雷伯威茲公司的代表走進史密斯辦公室。“一百廿萬元是我們競標的價碼，”代表說道。

" $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent."$11 200, 0001 That' s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a brea kdown on that?"

“一百廿萬元這個標高得太過分了，”史密斯叫道：“你可以給我一張明細表嗎?"

"No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and $ 400 . 000 for the Polacks.

“沒有問題，”代表回答道。“四十萬元給我，四十萬元給你，最後四十萬元則給那家波蘭佬開的公司。”