不能沒有他：有個男閨蜜的N+1個好處大綱

You are both very happy and comfortable in the friend zone.
作爲朋友，你們都非常快樂且舒適。

No, you are not in a relationship; no, you will never be in a relationship. No you have never even thought about being in a relationship, (apart from that low point when you thought you were going to die alone). You are both very aware you are in the friend zone and you like it there.
不，你們沒有談戀愛；你們絕不會談戀愛。甚至從未想過你們會談戀愛，（除開你認爲你會孤獨地死去時的最差狀態）。你們都非常清楚你們是朋友並且你們喜歡做朋友。

I really value our friendship.
我真的重視我們的友誼。

Compliments come few and far between.
幾乎不會有讚美；即使有，也非常稀少。

Unlike your female friends who are always ready to tell you how beautiful you look, male besties just don't give a shit. And if you were to get a compliment, it's normally a little weird.
不像你的女性朋友那般，總是願意告訴你，你看起來多麼漂亮；男閨蜜一點兒都不在乎。如果你的男閨蜜要讚美你，通常會有點詭異。

You're smart and you're pretty…like a dolphin.
你又聰明又漂亮……像只海豚。

You really don't have to mince your words.
你真的不必閃爍其詞。

Like, you really don't. You can speak your mind and know that he will never get too offended. You can say exactly what you mean, no matter how bad it sounds.
大概，你真的不會。你會坦率地說出你的想法，而且你知道他絕不會太生氣。

You dream of setting him up with his perfect match.
你非常想給他介紹完美對象。

Because his happiness is your happiness, and you also want bragging rights.
因爲他的幸福就是你的幸福，而且你也想耀武揚威一下。

It's a match!
真般配！

Your dinner checks are separate.
你們的晚餐分開付賬。

You go for a meal, he pays for his food, you pay for yours. NO. BIG. DEAL.
你們一起去吃飯，他付他的，你付你的。沒啥大不了的。

When you meet someone, your bestie will need to size them up.
當你遇到某些人的時候，你會需要男閨蜜幫你評估一下他們。

Because he can see through bullshit, and it's imperative they get along.
因爲他能識破謊言，而且他們能和睦相處是必要的。

He brings you down to earth when you're daydreaming.
在你做白日夢的時候，他會讓你回到現實中。

While your girl bestie might help you pick out the names of your children after just one date, you male bestie won't encourage any of that shit. The Will to your Grace will quickly remind you that you can't fall in love and plan your future after one date.
只是約會過一次，你最好的女性朋友可能就會幫你挑選你們孩子的名字了，然而你的男閨蜜不會胡說八道地慫恿你。閣下的意志會很快地提醒你，不能在一次約會後就墜入愛河並開始計劃你們的未來。

Sometimes he forgets you're a girl and doesn't maintain hygiene standards when you're around.
有時候他會忘記你是個女孩子，然後當你在他身邊的時候，他並不保持衛生標準。

Seriously, farting is never funny and body odour is not cute.
說真的，放屁絕不會有趣，汗臭味也不會討人喜歡。

You don't have to worry about not getting a text back.
你不必擔心不會收到短信回覆。

Because you don't fancy him, so it doesn't matter if he takes two hours to reply back. Plus you can continuously text him until he replies and it's not crazy.
因爲你不會迷戀他，所以他兩個小時之後回覆你也無所謂。此外，你可以不斷給他發短信直到他回覆你，而這並不瘋狂。

You know that you would be lost without him.
你知道沒有他你會不知所措。

Because he is not just your best friend, he is your resident dating expert, your honest critic, and your bodyguard.
因爲對你而言，他不僅僅是最好的朋友，也是固有的約會專家、坦率的評論家以及保鏢。

Pure unadulterated friendship.
純粹的友誼。