成功孩子背後都有這樣的父母
1. They make their kids do chores.
1. 他們讓孩子做家務。
"If kids aren't doing the dishes, it means someone else is doing that for them," Julie Lythcott-Haims, former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University and author of "How to Raise an Adult" said during a TED Talks Live event.
曾擔任過斯坦福大學新生教務主任的朱莉·利思科特-海姆斯寫了《如何將孩子撫育成人》一書，她在TED的直播中表示：“如果孩子不洗碗，這意味着其他人要幫他們洗。”
Lythcott-Haims believes kids raised on chores go on to become employees who collaborate well with their coworkers, are more empathetic because they know firsthand what struggling looks like, and are able to take on tasks independently.
利思科特-海姆斯認爲從小被教育洗碗的孩子成人工作後，會和同事合作融洽，並更懂得以己推人。因爲他們親身體驗過不情願做事是怎樣的，而且他們能獨立完成任務。
2. They teach their kids social skills.
2. 他們教孩子社交技能。
Researchers from Pennsylvania State University and Duke University tracked more than 700 children from across the US between kindergarten and age 25 and found a significant correlation between their social skills as kindergartners and their success as adults two decades later.
賓州州立大學和杜克大學的研究員們在美國各州抽樣選取了700多名兒童，從他們的幼兒園時期一直跟蹤調查至25歲。他們發現，這些孩子在幼兒園表現出的社交技能與他們二十年後的成功有着顯著的關聯。
The 20-year study showed that socially competent children who could cooperate with their peers without prompting, be helpful to others, understand their feelings, and resolve problems on their own, were far more likely to earn a college degree and have a full-time job by age 25 than those with limited social skills.
這項爲期20年的調查表明，社交能力強的孩子無需敦促便能和同伴合作、幫助並理解他人、獨立解決問題。到25歲的時候，相比於那些社交技能有限的孩子，他們更有可能獲得大學文憑、找到一份全職工作。
3. They have high expectations.
3. 他們對孩子期望高。
Using data from a national survey of 6,600 children born in 2001, University of California at Los Angeles professor Neal Halfon and his colleagues discovered that the expectations parents hold for their kids have a huge effect on attainment.
加州大學洛杉磯分校的尼爾·哈爾豐教授和其同事在2001年對洛杉磯的6600名小孩做了一項調查，他們發現父母對孩子抱有的期望會很大程度上影響到孩子取得的成就。
This falls in line with another psych finding: the Pygmalion effect, which states "that what one person expects of another can come to serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy."
這卻暗合了另一項心理學發現——皮格馬利翁效應。也就是一個人對另外一人的期望最終可以影響到那個人，致使最初的預言實現。
4. They have healthy relationships with each other.
4. 他們彼此維繫着良好的關係。
Some studies have found children in nonconflictual single parent families fare better than children in conflictual two-parent families. The conflict between parents prior to divorce also affects children negatively, while post-divorce conflict has a strong influence on children's adjustment.
一些調查已經表明，在沒有矛盾的單親家庭成長出的孩子要比成長於矛盾重重的雙親家庭的孩子更爲成功。雙親離異前的衝突也會對孩子有消極影響，而離婚後的矛盾又會給孩子適應新的家庭關係造成強烈的干擾。
5. They've attained higher educational levels.
5. 他們的教育水平更高。
A 2014 study lead by University of Michigan psychologist Sandra Tang found that mothers who finished high school or college were more likely to raise kids that did the same.
2014年密西根大學的心理學家桑德拉·唐率領團隊做了一項研究，結果發現完成高中或大學教育的母親撫養出的孩子更有可能擁有同樣的教育經歷。
6. They teach their kids math early on.
6. 他們很早就教孩子數學。
A 2007 meta-analysis of 35,000 preschoolers across the US, Canada, and England found that developing math skills early can turn into a huge advantage. Mastery of early math skills predicts not only future math achievement, it also predicts future reading achievement.
2007年一項對美國、加拿大和英格蘭35000名學前孩子的薈萃分析表明，早點培養孩子們的數學能力可以轉變爲他們的一大優勢。對早期數學技能的掌握不僅能預示將來孩子的數學成就，還可以影響他們以後的閱讀能力。
7. They develop a relationship with their kids.
7. 他們都與孩子建立起一種關聯。
A 2014 study of 243 people born into poverty found that children who received "sensitive caregiving" in their first three years not only did better in academic tests in childhood, but had healthier relationships and greater academic attainment in their 30s. This suggests that investments in early parent-child relationships may result in long-term returns that accumulate across individuals' lives.
一項2014年的研究調查了243名出生貧困的人，研究人員發現在頭三年被父母細心照料的孩子不僅在兒童時代的學術考試中表現更好，還會在他們30多歲時有更好的人際關係，取得更多的學術成就。這表明在早期親子關係上的投資也許能在孩子成年後漸漸帶來長期的回報。
8. They're less stressed.
8. 他們都沒多少壓力。
Research shows that if your friend is happy, that brightness will infect you; if she's sad, that gloominess will transfer as well. This is called emotional contagion -- the psychological phenomenon where people "catch" feelings from one another like they would a cold. So if a parent is exhausted or frustrated, that emotional state could transfer to the kids.
研究表明如果你的朋友心情愉快，那麼好心情將感染你；如果她感到悲傷，同樣那份憂鬱會傳遞給你。這也被稱爲情感感染，這是一種心理現象，人們會像得感冒一樣被他人的情緒感染。所以如果父母感到疲憊或失望，那麼他（她）的情感狀況也會傳染給孩子。
9. They value effort over avoiding failure.
9. 他們對孩子強調努力，而非逃避失敗。
Over decades, children (and adults) think about success in one of the following two ways. On the one hand, a "fixed mindset" assumes that success is the affirmation of the inherent intelligence. Striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled. A "growth mindset," on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of un-intelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities.
在過去的幾十年裏，孩子和成人用以下兩種方式中的一種看待成功。一方面，“固定心態”認爲，與生俱來的智慧確立了人們的成功。努力成功和盡一切可能避免失敗則成了維持聰明的感覺或技巧的方式之一。而另一方面是“發展心態”，認爲興盛源自挑戰，並認爲失敗不是不聰明的表現，反而是一塊積極的跳板，促使你成長，鍛鍊我們的生存技能。
10. The moms work.
10. 這些孩子都有在職母親。
According to research out of Harvard Business School, there are significant benefits for children growing up with mothers who work outside the home.
根據哈佛商學院的一項調查，孩子同在職媽媽一同長大受益顯著。
The study found daughters of working mothers went to school longer, were more likely to have a job in a supervisory role, and earned more money. The sons of working mothers also tended to pitch in more on household chores and childcare.
研究發現，有在職媽媽的女孩子上學時間更長，並且更有可能找到一份監督角色的工作，賺的薪水更多。而且有在職母親的男孩子比媽媽是家庭主婦的男孩更傾向於參加各種活動。
11. They have a higher socioeconomic status.
11. 他們有更高的社會經濟地位。
Tragically, one-fifth of American children grow up in poverty, a situation that severely limits their potential. According to Stanford University researcher Sean Reardon, socioeconomic status is what drives much of educational attainment and performance.
可悲的是，五分之一的美國孩子在貧窮中長大，這種情況嚴重限制了孩子們的潛能。據斯坦福大學的研究員肖恩·里爾登表示，社會經濟地位能激勵孩子們接受更高的教育，促進他們在學術上有更佳的表現。
