考研英語看圖作文範例點評：本分變“承諾”

看圖作文在英語作文中是大家普遍缺乏練習的一種類型，一個提高的方式就是看範例和點評，針對其中的錯誤進行自我修正。

本分變承諾：

寫作原文

AS Is(注意大小寫) shown above, a funny hen claimed that her eggs with(that後面應該跟的是從句，從句中應包含謂語動詞，建議將with改爲have) no edge and the like which is the most fundamntional(拼寫錯誤，改爲fundamental).(作者這句話是要表達什麼內容?)Simple as the drawing is, the symbolic meaning behind ti(改爲it) is as deep as ocean(注意句末標點)Honesty is not only necessary, but also indepensible(拼寫錯誤，改爲indispensable) the old Chinese proverb says:"Honesty is gold." However,in no country other than China, it has been said that, the problum(拼寫錯誤，改爲problem) of opposite the pormise(拼寫錯誤，改爲promise) more serious(句子邏輯關係不明確，改爲the opposite of the original promise is more serious),and people fail to attach attention to the "gold". Individuals and organizations can make money, take porfits(拼寫錯誤，改爲profits) and even obtain wealth by attend be honest can also have added (改爲add) benefit of increasing one's knowledge, giving us a new perspective of outside world. According to a survey conducted by China Acadmy(拼寫錯誤，改爲Academy)of Science(CAS),honesty can relieve not only pressure but also anxiety and such problums(拼寫錯誤，改爲problems)as depression, stress, isolation and solitude(注意句末標點)All in all,obtain(改爲obtaining，一句話中只能有一個謂語動詞)the promise plays a key role in our daily unhonest(改爲dishonest，表示“不誠實的”，沒有unhonest一詞), in view of the complexity of such issue,we must treat it socially,economically and (首字母大寫) a proper law, an up-to-date solution, a right perspective and alert public,it will be a matter of time before the problum(拼寫錯誤，改爲problem) becomes things of the past.(最後一段缺乏邏輯關係，建議重寫)

總體點評

作文能夠按照寫作要求來寫，寫作格式基本符合要求。但是文中的問題較多，比如：單詞的拼寫問題、語法問題、句子的邏輯關係問題等。希望作者在後面的複習中，先不要急於寫文章，從基本的入手，先積累詞彙、學習基本語法、積累並模仿高分語言佳句;將重點放在語句模仿上，有空多讀外文期刊，瞭解英語的地道表達，從而不斷提高自己的寫作水平。建議作者將每週的時間做一個合理的規劃，一週練習一篇作文即可，在練習這篇作文時，可先積累此方面的詞彙，之後兩天可查找有關方面的經典表達及例文，然後再模仿佳句，等這些都做到位時，再組織文章。

參考分數(滿分20分)：11

英語寫作水平的提升需要不斷地練習，在改正錯誤中不斷取得進步，不怕犯錯誤，怕明知道犯錯誤卻不面對。看了範文和點評，希望大家有思考，有提高。