考研英語看圖作文範例點評：山寨文化

看圖作文在英語作文中是大家普遍缺乏練習的一種類型，一個提高的方式就是看範例和點評，針對其中的錯誤進行自我修正。

山寨文化：

寫作原文

The picture describes a prevailing phenomenon that the copycating(改爲copycatting products) is(改爲are) become more and more populat(拼寫錯誤，改爲popular). In the picture the man painting(句子缺謂語，改爲is painting) the vase which(此處用定語從句不合適，建議改爲and) his mind is fulled(改爲full，be full of爲固定短語) of money, (逗號改爲句號，然後加There are)large of fake products behind with(去掉with，behind本身爲介詞，後面不用再加其他介詞)him may created(改爲creat，may爲情態動詞，情態動詞後面跟動詞原形) a cultural(改爲the culture, cultural爲形容詞，此處應該爲名詞，再者，culture爲不可數名詞，不能用a修飾)so called(改爲which is so called) "copycating(拼寫錯誤，改爲copycatting)culture" (注意句末加句號) Slow growing(改爲Slow-growing) fish are outlive than fast growing one(改爲fast-growing ones). Make money we should choice(choice爲名詞，此處需要動詞，改爲choose)a batter(去掉a，將batter改爲better) ways (漢語式英語，整句話可改爲If we want to make money, we should choose a better way). In our social(改爲名詞形式society),people always saw(改爲see,always常與現在時態連用) the money as their primary reason for being. No matter(改爲Whether you are a) businessman or producter(改爲a producer) they make money be anxious to achieve quick success and get instant benefits(漢語式英語，改爲you will be anxious when you achieve quick success or get instant benefits),(注意斷句)they make money by a wrong means like copy the well goods what sell well(漢語式英語，無邏輯，改爲They want to make money by wrong means, for example, they copy the goods which sell well),what's more, producters(拼寫錯誤，改爲producers)producting(注意詞性的正確選擇，改爲produce)goodsin low capture(改爲with a low cost) or added(改爲add) poisonous(加things，poisonous爲形容詞，用來修飾名詞) in food,how terrible it is ,(注意斷句)that way to product food harmful with people(表達有誤，改爲and it is harmful for people)ously the events of sanlu(漢語拼音首字母要大寫，用斜體，改爲Sanlu) milk powder(改爲which contains vc powder) it(去掉) can be said babys' disaste(改爲disaster),many knock-off(意思用於此處不正確，改爲producers) didn't(文章時態整體保持一致，改爲don't) conform with official safety standards ntly,the event about copycating(拼寫錯誤，改爲copycatting) iphone charger result in user die rise people care about copycating again(漢語式英語，改爲which result in the death of users makes people care about copycatting products again.)above(首字母大寫) all of accident caused by fake product i (改爲I) think that many reason(改爲reasons，many修飾可數名詞複數) result it but the most important have three(注意正確使用積累的經典句型，改爲can explain the phenomenon, and I would explorethree of the most ones here). The(序數詞作爲“首先，其次，……”解釋時，前面不加定冠詞) first ,was(句子無主語，改爲it is) the low moral consciousness of business and producter (漢語式英語，改爲that businessmen and producers have low moral consciousness),(加連詞and,兩個句子之間應該用連詞連接)they want noting except(改爲but，nothing but爲固定用法) money that careless(可改爲needless to say) consumers. the(去掉the)second, from consumers(改爲consumers') options, they choice(改爲動詞形式choose) the low price something(改爲things) compare with high price(可改爲they would like choose the low price things rather than choose high price things), and the most of copycating(拼寫錯誤，改爲copycatting, 後加products) attract consumers by low price (去掉the) last as supervision department(加逗號，然後加主語they) didn't enhance my opinion there are some ways that defending (改爲to defend)the phenomenon of copycating (拼寫錯誤，改爲copycatting),primary (改爲Primarily,) is(去掉) as consumers we are dong (改爲should not)buy the copycating(拼寫錯誤，改爲copycatting),the (去掉the)second ,surpervision(拼寫錯誤，改爲supervision) department take serious methods attack(改爲to against) copycating(拼寫錯誤，改爲copycatting,再加products) producters(刪掉) good people do noting that like help bed tings so we all should join in the campaign that defend copycating(拼寫錯誤，改爲copycatting) (整句話改爲：and we should make joint efforts to boycott copycatting products)

總體點評

文章整體是以漢語式英語完成的，建議作者從最簡單的做起，先積累一些詞彙，句子;並學習簡單的語法知識，要寫好文章，首先要能寫出好句子，而好句子則是建立在正確的句子基礎之上。一定要搞清楚句子的成分，簡單句一般是由主語+謂語+賓語或主語+系動詞+表語構成;在弄清楚簡單句的基礎之上，再學習複雜的從句，一步一個腳印，踏踏實實提高自己的寫作成績。你可以在積累、學習一段時間之後，寫一些句子，然後再練習寫文章。

參考分數(滿分20分)：9

英語寫作水平的提升需要不斷地練習，在改正錯誤中不斷取得進步，不怕犯錯誤，怕明知道犯錯誤卻不面對。看了範文和點評，希望大家有思考，有提高