對待批評的建議雙語
享受失敗的樂趣。 重新轉化這個事情，擁抱批評.接下來，小編給大家準備了對待批評的建議雙語,歡迎大家參考與借鑑。
I have a very hard time being criticized, corrected, or accused – even of the smallest mistakes – and I react very angrily. I’ve wrestled1 this instinct under control in a professional context, more or less, but I have more trouble with it at home. All it takes is for the Big Girl to say something like,"You forgot to remind me to bring my library book," to send me into a tirade2. "What do you mean…it's not my responsibility…I didn’t know Wednesday was Library Day…" etc., etc.
對我哪怕是最微小的一個批評、糾正或指責，我都會很難接受——而且我會做出十分憤怒的反應。在職業中，我會將這種本能遏制住，但是在家裏卻難以做到。只需要大女兒說類似：“你忘記提醒我要帶圖書館圖書”就能讓我言辭激烈。“你是什麼意思..這不是我的事..我又不知道星期三是圖書館日...”諸如此類的話。
More and more, I see the connection between perfectionism, control, and anger. Zoikes, how I try to be more mild-mannered and easy-going! Here are some of the strategies that I try to use to accept criticism. If I manage to use them, they never fail me, but it can be hard to have the mindfulness needed to apply them.
我越來越發現完美主義、控制和憤怒之間的關係。啊，我是多麼努力在要做到更溫文爾雅、更隨和!下面是我用來接受批評時的策略中的一些。如果我用上它們，就絕對不會讓我失望，但是要有一個清醒頭腦去用它們卻是一件困難的事情。
1. Listen to what a critic is saying. Really listen, try to understand that point of view, don’t just nod while you formulate3 your retorts.
聽一聽批評者在說什麼。真正傾聽，試圖瞭解觀點，不要一邊點頭，一邊準備自己的反駁。
2. Don't be defensive4. This is the toughest step for me. With my writing, for example, I always have to take a deep breath before reading an edit letter or meeting with an editor, to remind myself, "I welcome criticism. This person is helping5 me. I’m eager to hear how to improve my book/article/post." Act the way you want to feel! That's my Third Commandment. Along the same lines…
不要用防禦心理。對我來說這是最難的一步。例如，在我寫作時，我總要在閱讀編輯的信或和編輯見面前深吸一口氣，來提醒自己：“我歡迎批評。這個人在幫助我。我渴望聽一聽如何改善我的書/文章/帖子的話”。 你希望獲得怎樣的感受就怎樣去做!這是我的第三條戒律。同理...
3. Don't fire back by criticizing your critic. Your comments will just sound defensive, and you'll escalate6 the exchange. This urge is very difficult to resist, because the impulse to justify7 and attack is strong when you feel criticized, but it just isn't helpful, and it certainly isn’t effective.
不要批評你的批評者來反擊。 你的話只會聽上去有防禦心，而且你將會將“交火”升級。這樣的衝動很難抵制，因爲要理論、攻擊對方的衝動在你感覺受到批評時是很強烈，但這並沒有幫助，也肯定是沒有效果的。
4. Delay your reaction. Count to ten, take a deep breath, sleep on it, wait until the next day to send that email…any kind of delay is good. A friend told me that she has a rule for herself: when she's upset about something that happened at her children's school, she won't let herself do anything about it for three days – and usually she decides that no action is better than action.
延遲你的反應。 數到10、做深呼吸、隔一宿、等到第二天再發出那封電子郵件。任何類別的延遲都有幫助。一位朋友曾告訴我一條她自己的規定：當她對某件發生在她的孩子學校力的事情感到生氣，她讓自己3天什麼也不做--而且往往她認爲不採取行動比行動更好。
5. Explain honestly the reason for your actions. Sometimes it's tempting8 to re-characterize your actual feelings and motives9. Usually, though, that just complicates10 things more. It becomes impossible to have an honest exchange.
誠實地解釋你的行爲。有時候，改變你的實際的感受和意圖是很誘人的做法。但通常這隻會讓事情更復雜化，讓誠實的交流沒有可能。
6. Admit your mistakes. This is extremely effective and disarming11. When I got my first job, my father told me, "If you take the blame, you'll get the responsibility." I've found that to be very true. Difficult, but true. Admitting mistakes is the first step, then…
承認自己的錯誤。 這是極爲有效、消解的方法。當我獲得第一份工作時，我的父親曾告訴我：“如果你承擔了責備，你將會獲得責任” 我發現這一點很正確。難但是卻正確。承認錯誤是第一步，接下來...
7. Explain what you've learned. If you can show a critic that you've learned something, you prove that you've understood the criticism and tried to act on it. That, itself, usually mollifies critics.
解釋你已經學到了什麼。如果你能向一位批評者展示你學到了某樣東西，那麼你在證明自己已經理解了批評，並且試圖採取行動。這本身就能讓批評者安靜下來。
8. Enjoy the fun of failure. Re-frame the issue entirely12 to embrace criticism. Fact is, trying new things and aiming high opens you to criticism. I tell myself to Enjoy the fun of failure to try to re-frame failure and criticism as part of the fun. Otherwise, my dread13 of criticism can paralyze me.
What am I overlooking? Have you found any other strategies that work for you?
享受失敗的樂趣。 重新轉化這個事情，擁抱批評。事實上，嘗試新事物、眼光高都會讓你更容易被批評。在《享受失敗的樂趣》一文中我告訴自己重建失敗、批評，將它們作爲樂趣的一部分。不然的話，我對批評的恐懼將讓我行爲癱瘓。
我漏掉了什麼沒有?你有沒有發現其它有用的方法?
擴展：過節給老闆送禮注意事項六則
Are you considering adding your boss to your gift-giving list this year?
"Tread1 carefully," warns Jo Bennett, partner in the New York City executive2 search firm Battalia Winston. "It's not all that common and I think if you want to give a gift to your boss, you need to think about what's in it for you."
Here are some simple do's and don'ts to keep your holiday giving happy.
今年，你考慮送老闆禮物嗎?
來自Battalia Winston高級人才搜尋公司合夥人Jo Bennett說：“給老闆送禮要謹慎。送老闆禮物並不是一個普遍的現象。如果你希望給老闆送禮物的話，你需要考慮自己有什麼好處。”
1、Do your homework. 準備
Buying your boss a gift is just like any other workplace project. So research the history of gift-giving in your office:
給老闆買禮物就如同任何工作中的一個項目。所以，調查以往的送禮情況:
Do people give gifts to the boss? 人們(在過節)給老闆送禮物嗎?
If so, what kind? 如果送的話，是送哪類禮物?
Has it ever backfired for any of your coworkers, and if so, how?
曾經出現過有同事送禮後適得其反的情況嗎?有的話，是如何發生的?
2、Don't make your boss uncomfortable. 不要讓老闆感覺不自在
Now that you know the tradition, think about why you want to give your boss a gift in the first place.
"If the answer is because you want to curry3 favor, I wouldn't do it," said Bennett. "The risk is that your boss will see it as trying to twist the relationship and get an advantage. You don't want to make your boss uncomfortable."
既然你瞭解了過去送禮習慣，下面來考慮自己到底爲什麼要送老闆禮物。
Bennett說：“如果回答是因爲你想去討好，要我可不會送。風險在於你的老闆可能把禮物看作扭曲關係真相、佔便宜的行爲。你可不希望讓對方感覺不自在。”
3、Do be sincere4. 真誠
The best reason to give your boss a gift is to thank him or her for a specific act of kindness during the year that went "above and beyond the call of duty," Bennett said.
"Maybe your boss smoothed over a particular issue you had with a customer," she suggested. "Or maybe your boss gave you some great career advice. In that case, give something small with a nice card of genuine5 thanks."
Bennett說,給老闆送禮物最好的理由是感謝他/她在過去一年裏做出過的”超出工作範圍之外“的某個具體善舉。
她建議“也許你的老闆爲你解決了你與客戶之間的特定問題。或者你的老闆給了你某些很好的事業建議。這個情況下，送點東西並附上一張漂亮的真誠感謝的卡片”
4、Don't get personal. 不要送個人化的禮物
The worst gifts for bosses are expensive or personal, said Dallas-based business etiquette6 expert Colleen Rickenbacher, author of "Be on Your Best Business Behavior."
"The bottom line is always, 'Don't give something that touches the body,'" she said. Avoid clothes or perfume7. Even flowers could be perceived8 as overly personal and start coworkers gossiping.
《展現你最佳職業行爲》一書作者、來自達拉斯市的商務禮儀專家Colleen Rickenbacher說,給老闆最糟糕的禮物是那些昂貴的或者個人化的禮物。
她說：“最重要的一點‘不要送和身體有接觸的’”。 迴避送衣服、香水。即便是花也可能被當成過於個人化、惹來同事閒談的禮物。
5、Do cut costs. 減少成本
One of the best ways to give your boss a gift, say both Rickenbacher and Bennett, is to buy her something as a team. If each person gives $10, you can give your boss a gift certificate9 to her favorite restaurant or buy him a pricier gift that his assistant recommends.
That way, no one gets singled out as a brown-noser, and everyone shares the holiday spirit.
Or consider something inexpensive and consumable: jam you make at home, wine made in your garage, or cookies are all simple and genuine ways to share the holiday spirit without crossing any lines.
Rickenbacher與Bennett都認爲給老闆送禮的最好方法就是合夥買禮物。如果每人出10美元，你就能給老闆一張最喜愛餐館的用餐禮卡或購買某個來自老闆助手推薦的價格較昂貴的禮物。
這樣不會有個別人被認爲是馬屁精，而且人人都分享到了節日氣氛。
或者，考慮不貴、可消費的東西--家中自制的果醬;自家車庫中釀的紅酒、或甜餅，這些都是簡簡單單而地道的分享節日氣氛而不會越界的方法。
6、Don't treat your boss like family. 不要像家人一樣對待老闆
"If someone in your family gives you a gift, you better give one back," said Bennett. "But it's different in an office."
Don't feel the need to reciprocate10 if your boss gives you something. At worst, Rickenbacher said rushing to respond with a gift could end up looking like an afterthought.
"All you have to do when you receive a gift is show appreciation," she said, "and follow up with a thank-you note."
“如果有家人給你一份禮物，你最好回送一份禮物，但是在辦公室裏卻不同。”
如果老闆給你某樣東西，不要感到有必要回送禮物。Rickenbacher說，一個最糟糕的情況是，匆忙還禮會看起來就像你是後來纔想到的。
她說：“當收到老闆的一份禮物後，要做的一切只是表達感激，然後送一張感謝卡片。
