對於煩惱我們應該怎麼辦雙語

每個人的項目看上去都不同，但是絕大多數人都會從中受益——不需要努力趕超，只要立刻參與。接下來，小編給大家準備了對於煩惱我們應該怎麼辦雙語,歡迎大家參考與借鑑。

Everyone says, and it's true, that one of the most effective ways to handle negative emotions is to lighten up. If things are sad, try to find a reason to laugh. If you're angry, joke around. Easier said than done, however.

大家都知道，處理消極情緒最有效方式之一是“放輕鬆”。如果你悲傷，找一個大笑的理由。如果你生氣，去開個玩笑。不過，做比說要難。

I had a chance to keep my resolution to "Make a joke of it" last night. As a consequence of certain marital1 negotiations2 last year (not conducted in the most happiness-boosting way, I must confess), my husband took on the job of dealing3 with my daughter's adventure in orthodontia. The orthodontist's office is right around the corner from his office, and he agreed that he'd schedule the appointments and take her. Which was GREAT!

上週，我有一個機會得以運用“一笑了之”。 按照去年的家庭協議(我得承認，這協議並不是在一片祥和的氣氛中籤訂的)，我丈夫負責女兒牙齒矯正術的事項。牙齒校正醫生的辦公室就在他的辦公室拐角，丈夫同意由他安排時間帶她去。這真太棒了!

On our flight to Kansas City for the holidays, the Big Girl lost her "functional4 applicance" (the new-fangled thing she wears in her mouth, except when she's eating). We looked everywhere on the plane; it was gone. We got back home a week later, and the Big Man didn't call to make an appointment. Days went by. I reminded him periodically5, but nothing happened.

在我們去堪薩斯度假的航班上，我千金把她的“設備”(就是她嘴裏戴的新鮮玩意，吃東西時得取下來)弄丟了。我們在飛機上四處找遍了還是沒有。一週後我們回到家，大男人沒有打牙醫電話預約。時間一天天過去。我隔一段時間就提醒他，但是他無動於衷。

Whenever I thought about this delay, I became extremely annoyed. Last night, I stomped6 into our bedroom ready to turn on my anger at full volume. "This really matters, this is important, she's growing now, what's the point, it's expensive, she'll only have to have braces7 longer, you promised you'd do it," etc., etc., etc. Then I thought, "Make a joke of it."

一想起他的拖拉，我就十分惱怒。昨晚，我跺着腳進臥室，準備大發雷霆。“這真的很要緊，很重要，她正在發育，而且，那很貴，她只得再等下去，而你答應過會去做。”等等，等等。可又一想，乾脆“一笑了之”。

So I went over, put my arm around the Big Man, and said nicely, “You know what? If you don't call the orthodontist's tomorrow, I'm going to be furious8, I'm going to be enraged9, I'm going to be beside myself. I'm not threatening, just giving you fair warning.” And I laughed while I said it.

於是我走過去，用手臂摟着他，溫柔地說：“你知道嗎?如果你明天還不給校正牙醫打電話。我會很生氣。我會發怒，我不知道會做出什麼事情。我可沒威脅你，只是給你一個公正的警告”。我邊說還一邊笑。

"I know, I know!" he said, shaking his head. "I'll send myself an email right now." And he did. And today he made the appointment.

他搖了搖頭說：“知道，知道啦!我現在就給自己發一封郵件。” 他還真發了。今天他約好了醫生。

I'm not sure if making a joke of it was more effective than getting angry, but I don't think it was less effective. And it was a much nicer way to have that unpleasant exchange. I was happier about it, and the Big Man was happier about it.

我不確定說笑會不會比憤怒更奏效，但是我相信效果不會更差。而且比讓人不愉快的交流方式好得多。我對這個方法更滿意;大男人也一樣。

I used the same technique on myself last weekend. I had a bunch of dreaded10, dull tasks to take care of. I told myself, "I'm going to clear away a lot of these chores in the next two days. It's going to be the 'Weekend of the Dreaded Tasks'! Like the 'Rodents11 of Unusual Size,' in The Princess Bride." As I groaned12 to myself as I put away the holiday decorations, organized my address list for our Valentine's cards, finally dealt with the mail that came when we were out of town, and other things too dull to mention, I repeated to myself, "Oh well, this is the Weekend of the Dreaded Tasks." And just making that little joke to myself made it easier to tackle13 those tasks.

上週末我對自己採用了相同的方法。我有一堆煩人無聊的事情要做。我對自己說：“我明後兩天把這些雜活都做掉。這將是‘恐怖任務周’!就好像The Princess Bride書中的‘超大型齧齒動物’”。我一邊自個兒抱怨一邊把節日飾物放好、整理情人節卡片的地址、最後處理不在家時收到的郵件，等等，其他的事情我都懶得再提。我反覆告訴自己：“好吧，這是恐怖任務周。” 就這樣，給自己編一個笑話，事情便更容易處理了。

Of course, I recognize that in neither case when I kept my resolution to "Make a joke of it" was I really funny. My jokes weren't funny at all. But just the attempt to take a humorous attitude made a huge difference.

當然，我承認，在遵守“一笑了之”的決意中，我並不覺得有趣。我的笑話一點也不好笑。但採用一個幽默的態度卻能讓情況有很大改觀。

It's easy to say "make a joke of it," but it's hard to do when you're feeling angry, scared, bored, or upset. Have you found a way to get yourself to make a joke?

說“一笑了之”容易，但是當你感到憤怒、害怕、無聊或煩心的時候要做到很難。你找到了一個讓自己開玩笑的方法嗎?

　　擴展：至善者，善之敵

I was inspired by an observation by Voltaire to make my resolution, "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." In other words, instead of pushing yourself to an impossible "perfect," and therefore getting nowhere, accept "good." Many things worth doing are worth doing badly.

在做出一項決意時，我謹記伏爾泰的箴言：“至善者，善之敵”。換言之，不要逼迫自己實現不可能的“完美”，而是去接受“好”。許多事情值得去做，但不需要事事完美。

I have a friend who never exercises unless she's training for a marathon; as a consequence, she almost never exercises. I never push myself when I exercise, and although I suspect she scoffs1 at my wimpy(= wimpish：懦弱的，無用的)work-outs, I've managed to get myself to exercise several times a week for years. If I'd tried to have a more ambitious2 work-out, I'm sure I wouldn't have exercised at all.

我有一個朋友從來不鍛鍊，除非去練馬拉松。結果，她幾乎一直都沒有鍛鍊。而我鍛鍊的時候，從來不會勉強自己。雖然我懷疑她看不起我的低鍛鍊強度，可是數年來我能堅持每週鍛鍊幾次。如果我設定一個更高的鍛鍊目標，我肯定根本不會去鍛鍊。

Along the same lines, I told a friend that one of my happiness-project resolutions was to "Remember birthdays," and so I was sending out happy-birthday emails. He said, "Oh, you shouldn't email! You should call or write a hand-written note, that's much nicer." True – but I won't. And it's better to get something done imperfectly than to do nothing perfectly3.

同理，我曾告訴一位朋友，在我的“快樂計劃”中，有一條是“記住生日”，因此我會發送生日祝福電子郵件。他說：“哦，你不該發電子郵件!應該打電話、寫留言，這讓人感覺更好。” 是啊——但是我不會去做。不完美地做了某件事總比追求完美而一事無成的好。

The perfect can also become the enemy of the good in the quest4 for perfect information. There are two ways to approach decision-making: as a satisficer (yes, that is a word) or as a maximizer.

在獲得詳盡信息上，“完美”也會成爲“好”的敵人。有兩種決策者：滿足者(這個詞是有的)和最大化者。

Satisficers are those who make a decision or take action once their criteria5 are met. That doesn't mean they'll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high, but as soon as they find the pasta sauce or the business card that has the qualities they want, they're satisfied.

“滿足者”是指那些一旦滿足了標準後即做出決定或採取行動的人。這不表示他們甘願接受平庸：他們的標準可能很高，但是一旦找到了希望中的東西，比如意粉醬或名片，他們就滿足了。

Maximizers want to make the optimal6 decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can't make a decision until after they've examined every option, to make the best possible choice. Studies suggest that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers; maximizers spend a lot more time and energy to reach a decision, and they're often anxious about whether they did, in fact, make the best choice. (For a fascinating discussion, read Barry Schwartz's The Paradox7 of Choice.)

“最大化者”希望做出最優化的決定。即便找到了滿足需求的東西，例如自行車或揹包，爲了做出最佳選擇，他們要檢查每一個候選後才能做出決定。研究表明滿足者往往比最大化者更快樂;最大化者爲了做出一個決定要花更多的精力和時間，而且經常會爲自己是不是真的做出最佳選擇而煩惱。(對此的精彩討論，請參閱《選擇的矛盾》一書，作者Barry Schwartz)

In almost every category, I'm a satisficer, and in fact, I often felt guilty about not doing more research before making decisions. But it's one of my Secrets of Adulthood8: Most decisions don't require extensive research. In picking a girls' summer camp, a friend got information from twenty-five camps and visited five in person. We got information from five camps and picked the one that a friend's daughter loved. I used to think that my lack of diligence was a sign of laziness, and my resolution "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good" has made me feel a lot better.

基本上我是一位滿足者，實際上，我經常會因爲沒有做更多調查就做了決定而愧疚。但是，我的一條“成年人祕密”是：多數決定不需要詳盡調查。爲了選擇一個女孩夏令營，我的一位朋友調查了25個夏令營，親自去了5個。而我們調查了5個，選擇了一位朋友女兒喜歡的那個。我曾以爲不勤奮是懶惰的標誌，然而“至善者，善之敵”這想法讓我心情大大地好了起來。

In some situations, the happier course is to know when good enough is good enough, and not to worry about perfection9 or making the perfect choice.

某些時候，要學會知足，而別去擔心是否完美或是否做了完美決定。