零距離美語會話[家庭]Lesson 2:Here comes the bride

Two Here comes the bride.
新娘來了。
1 Introduction
A Some American men have this thinking - why buy the cow if you can get all your milk free?
一些美國男人有這種思想——如果你可以免費得到牛奶的話，那又何必去買頭奶牛呢？（這句話有很明顯的引申意義：身邊有女人願意跟着，又何必一定要自尋麻煩娶個老婆呢？）
B Marriage is not like having a room full of roses; you get out of it whatever you put into it. Another way of expressing this is, you’ve made your bed now you’re going to have to sleep in it.
婚姻不像是一個房子裝滿了玫瑰；你付出了什麼就收穫什麼。另一種說法是，你已經鋪好了牀，現在你就得睡在裏面。
C She got the gold mine, he got the shaft. That means when the judge decided how the property would be divided in the divorce. The woman received the biggest part of the marital assets. Most men say, “It’s not marriage that scares me; it’s the divorce court I am most afraid of.”
“她分了金礦，他得到的是茅杆。”那就是說離婚時當法官作出決定財產是如何劃分的。大多數男人說，“讓我害怕的不是婚姻；是離婚時的法院最讓我恐懼。”
D In most instances, a man who has never been married will prefer to marry a woman who has also never been married.
多數情況下，沒結過婚的男人比較願意娶也沒有結過婚的女人。
E Most men prefer having a wife who is younger than them. But it’s usual for a man to marry a woman older than himself. Older women who like younger men are frowned upon in American culture.
多數男人比較願意妻子比自己年輕。但是娶比自己大一點的女人也是常有的。老女人喜歡年輕男人，這在美國文化是會引起別人皺眉的。

2 Sample Sentences
1. Brad really means a lot to me.
布萊德對我來說真的很重要。
2. As soon as I met her, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with her.
當我一見到她，我就知道我將會和她共度此生。
3. If you love someone, set them free; if they come back to you, they’re yours; if they don't, they weren't yours in the first place.
如果你們愛某個人，就讓他們自由；如果他們回到你們身邊，他們就是你們的；如果他們沒有，一開始他們就不是你們的。
4. I think some people get married before the age of 20.
我認爲一些人還沒滿二十歲就結婚了。
5. In fact, we are planning a formal engagement for this Christmas, 2001, and an exchange of vows in spring of 2006.
事實上，我們正計劃2001年的聖誕節舉行一個訂婚儀式，在2006年的春天結婚。
6. They are looking forward to the union of our love.
他們盼着我們的愛走到一起。
7. I simply knew I wanted to have certain qualities in a mate and that if the right person came along, marriage was great.
我只知道我想要我的配偶有一些特定的品質，如果要找的那個人出現了，婚姻就是幸福的。
8. When we finally met in person, it was love at first sight!
當我們最終碰面時，那就是一見鍾情。
9. He is the person I will always love, without end, without bounds, and with all my heart.
他是我將永遠愛着的人，沒有盡頭，沒有界限，用盡我全部的心。
10. We sometimes struggle with being newlyweds and an instant family. However, we wouldn't trade any of this for anything in the world.
結爲新婚夫婦以及速成一個家庭，爲此我們有時不免有些鬥爭。然而，我們不會拿這些與世上任何一樣東西相替換。
11. As a matter of fact, we are talking about marriage, although it is not official yet (he hasn't formally proposed).
事實上，我們在談論結婚，儘管還不是正式的（他還沒正式求婚）。

3 Conversations
1. Here Comes the Bride.
At a wedding reception in St. Louis, Missouri.
Tim: Thanks for inviting me to your friend’s wedding. I was surprised to hear the bride and groom1 talking to each other that way during the marriage ceremony2. Is that common?
Sam: Well, some people use a standard set of words, but many couples today write their own wedding vows3.
Tim: Your tradition of throwing rice as they got into their car was interesting, but it didn't look like real rice to me.
Sam: It wasn't. It was birdseed4. We don't throw rice anymore because someone discovered that birds come along and eat the rice and have trouble digesting it.
Tim: Oh, I didn't think of that. Well, this reception reminds me of wedding parties back in China. Plenty of food and drink, music and dancing, and interesting traditions.
Sam: Wait until you see what happens next! The bride is getting ready to throw her bouquet5. Let's go over and watch.
Tim: She’s got quite a crowd around her. Oh, look! That little girl caught it!
Sam: She’s my friend’s ten-year-old niece. I guess there won’t be another wedding in this family for a long time.

Additional Information：
Most American weddings are held in churches. The reception may take place in a rented hall such as a hotel banquet room. Guests always give gifts at the reception. Often the wedding reception is catered by the hotel or an outside catering service. Alcoholic beverages are usually served including Champaign.
大部分美國婚禮在教堂舉行。舉行宴會的地方有可能是在一個租用大廳，例如酒店的宴會廳。客人一般在宴會上贈送禮物。通常結婚宴席由酒店或者由外面一個承辦宴席行業承辦。各種酒飲料像香檳通常會供應。
【譯文】
——謝謝你邀請我來參加你朋友的婚禮。聽到新娘和新郎在婚禮上這樣互相說，我真驚訝。那樣很常見嗎？
——一些人使用一套標準的詞句，但是今天很多夫妻自己寫他們的結婚誓言。
——當他們上車時，你們傳統上的扔大米很有趣，但是在我看來不像是真正的大米。
——不是。是鳥食。我們不再丟大米是因爲有人發現鳥兒一起來吃大米，很難消化。
——噢，我還沒想到了。這宴會讓我想起中國的婚禮。很多吃的喝的，音樂、跳舞，還有有趣的傳統儀式。
——你等着看下面的！新娘要準備丟花束了。我們過去看看。
——她周圍可圍了不少人。噢，看！那個小女孩捧到了！
——她是我朋友十歲的侄女。我猜這個家族很久不會再有人結婚了。

2. Living together before getting married.
Zoe: Hey Kevin, what are you doing here? Don't you usually spend Tuesday nights at home studying?
Kevin: I needed to get out of the house. My parents just went ballistic6 over something my older sister told them.
Zoe: What did she tell them? Is she dropping out of college?
Kevin: Nothing that serious. She finally told them that she moved out of the dormitory a few months ago and has been living with her boyfriend.
Zoe: And your parents took it badly?
Kevin: That's putting it mildly7. My father started shouting at my sister and my mother just glared at her.
Zoe: Ouch, that sounds bad. What did your sister do?
Kevin: She started arguing back to my dad that how much she loves her boyfriend, how they're in love and it's not hurting anybody, and so on. My dad said she's too young to do this, and that she should move out right away.
Zoe: How long has your sister been with her boyfriend?
Kevin: Three years. They've been dating since freshman year. They're even talking about marriage.
Zoe: Really? Then I guess living together would be a good idea.
Kevin: What do you mean?
Zoe: Well, these days too many people are getting divorced. If they live together, then at least they're finding out if they're really compatible8 or not.
Kevin: I guess so. Better to find out now than after you're married, when it's harder to get out.
Helpful Information：
Since the 1960’s, America has been much more tolerant of couples living together—like husbands and wives—without being married. The issue of sex before marriage is generally not as upsetting to parents as it was before.
自1960年以來，美國對未婚同居的伴侶就越來越能夠接受。父母對婚前性行爲通常也不會像以前那樣傷心。
【譯文】
——嗨，凱文，你在這兒幹什麼？星期二晚上你通常不是在家學習嗎？
——我當時是迫不得已要離開這個家。我父母對我姐姐告訴他們的事一下子大發雷霆。
——她對他們講了什麼？她要從大學退學嗎？
——沒那麼嚴重。她最後告訴他們幾個月前她搬出了宿舍，一直和她男朋友住在一起。
——那你父母覺得很不好嗎？
——那樣把事情說小了。我父親開始對我姐姐大喊大叫，我母親對她怒目而視。
——哎喲，聽起來很糟糕。你姐姐怎麼做？
——她開始對我父親回嘴說她有多麼愛她的男朋友，他們怎麼相愛，而且沒有傷害任何人等等。我父親說她太小了不該這樣，而且她應該馬上搬出來。
——你姐姐和她男朋友在一起多久了？
——三年。他們從大學一年級開始就一直約會。他們甚至在談論結婚。
——真的嗎？那麼我想在一起生活還是個好主意。
——你什麼意思？
——唔，現在太多的人離婚。如果他們在一起生活，那麼至少他們會發現他們是否能真正和睦相處。
——我想也是。現在發現比結婚後發現要好，到那時就很難擺脫了。

3. Talking about mother in laws.
Ned: Hi, Becky, what's up?
Becky: Not much, except that my mother-in-law is driving me up the wall9.
Ned: What's the problem?
Becky: She loves to nit-pick10 and criticizes everything that I do. I can never do anything right when she's around.
Ned: For example?
Becky: Well, last week I invited her over to dinner. My husband and I had no problem with the food, but if you listened to her, then it would seem like I fed her old meat and rotten11 vegetables. There's just nothing can please her.
Ned: No, I can't see that happening. I know you're a good cook and nothing like that would ever happen.
Becky: It's not just that. She also criticizes how we raise the kids.
Ned: My mother-in-law used to do the same thing to us. If it wasn't disciplining12 them enough, then we were disciplining them too much. She also complained about the food we fed them, the schools we sent them too, and everything else under the sun13.
Becky: You said she used to? How did you stop her?
Ned: We basically sat her down and told her how we felt about her constant14 criticizing, and how we welcomed her advice but hoped she'd let us do our things. She understood, and now everything is a lot more peaceful.
Becky: That sounds like a good idea. I'll have to try that.

Additional Information：
Nowadays wives seldom live with their mother in laws. So this doesn’t happen often.
現在妻子很少和他們的婆婆住在一起。所以這類事很少出現。
【譯文】
——嗨，貝基，有什麼事嗎？
——沒什麼，只是我婆婆讓我氣憤。
——怎麼啦？
——她喜歡吹毛求疵，批評我做的每件事情。當她在邊上時，我什麼事都做不好。
——舉個例子？
——比如，上週我邀請她過來吃飯。我丈夫和我對飯菜都覺得沒什麼不好，但如果你聽了她說的話，那就似乎是我給她吃臭肉、爛菜。簡直沒有一件事能讓她高興。
——不，我看不出會發生這種事。我知道你是個手藝不錯的廚師，像那樣的事決不會發生。
——事情還不止那樣。她還批評我怎麼撫養小孩。
——我岳母娘過去也常對我們這樣。如果不是對他們管得太嚴，就是對他們約束太多。她還抱怨我們給他們做的飯菜，我們所選的學校，以及世上的一切事情。
——你是說她過去也這樣？你怎麼阻止她的？
——我們主要是讓她坐下來，然後告訴她我們對她時刻不停地批評有什麼感受，我們怎樣歡迎她提建議，但希望她能讓我們做我們的事。她理解了，現在一切都平靜多了。
——聽起來是個好主意。我得試一試。

4. Indiscretion.
Janice: What's the matter, Lisa? You don't look too good.
Lisa: I just found out that my husband is cheating on15 me.
Janice: You mean Mark? He seems like such an honest guy.
Lisa: That's what I thought. It seems that he's been seeing someone else for about two months.
Janice: Two months? How did you find out?
Lisa: I asked for leave and was at home when the telephone rang. I picked it up and a girl asked to talk to Mark. She then asked if I was his sister, and I said no, I was his wife. She hung up immediately.
Janice: So you asked him about the girl who called?
Lisa: Yeah, he first said it was someone from work. He gave me a lame16 excuse, and so I pressed him on it.
Janice: What'd he do?
Lisa: He kept trying to make stupid excuses, and then broke down17 and admitted to a small indiscretion18.
Janice: Indiscretion? How can an indiscretion last two months? I mean, you two have been married for two years! How can he do that to you?
Lisa: I told him I would divorce him if he wouldn’t tell me the truth or end the relationship with her.
Janice: Good. I totally agree with what you did.
【譯文】
——什麼事，麗莎？你看上去不高興。
——我剛發現我丈夫對我不忠。
——你是說馬克？他看上去像一個很誠實的男人。
——我過去也是那樣想。他好像已經和別人約會了近兩個月。
——兩個月？你怎麼發現的？
——我請了假在家, 電話響了。我拿起電話，一個女孩說找馬克。然後她問我是否是馬克的姊妹，我說不是，我是他妻子。她立即掛了電話。
——然後你問他打電話的那個女孩是誰？
——是的，起先他說是同事。他找了一個根本就站不住腳的藉口，所以我逼他說。
——他怎麼做？
——他不斷地找些愚蠢的藉口，然後又說不是，承認有點言行失檢。
——言行失檢？言行失檢怎麼能持續兩個月？我是說，你們兩個已經結婚兩年了！他怎麼能那樣對你？
——我說如果他不告訴我真相併和她斷離關係，我就和他離婚。
——很好。我完全贊成你的做法。

4 Words and Expressions
1. groom 新郎
2. ceremony 儀式, 典禮
3. vow 誓,誓言,誓約
4. birdseed 鳥食, 鳥餌
5. bouquet 花束, 一束花
6. ballistic 彈道的
7. mildly 溫和地, 和善地
8. compatible 能共處的; 可並立的
9. drive up the wall 使...大怒
10. nit-pick 挑剔;吹毛求疵
12. discipline 懲戒，訓導
13. under the sun 世界上
14. constant 不停的,接連不斷的,持續的
15. cheat on (夫或妻)表現不忠,不貞
16. lame 站不住腳的,無說服力的
17. break down 失敗;故障
18. indiscretion 不慎重;言行失檢