離婚後,如果度過第一個節假日

The first set of holidays after your divorce aren't easy. But that definitely doesn't mean you won't ever have a good holiday again.

離婚後的第一個節假日並不好過。但這絕不是說你永遠都不能擁有開開心心的假期了。

As someone who has been there and done that having long been separated from my ex, I can say that it does get easier, but it still isn't easy. In order to have a beautiful holiday without your kids or when splitting the kids up, you need to create new traditions and enlist solid coping skills. If you do this, your life after divorce will be wonderful. It won't always be pleasant, but it will be worth it.

我也有這樣的經歷，長期與前任分居，因此我完全有權說事情會變得更容易些，但也沒有那麼容易。爲了開開心心的度過沒有孩子或將孩子分開的假期，你需要創立新的傳統，並爭取強硬的應對技巧。如果你做到這一點，那離婚後的生活簡直不要太精彩哦。事情並不總是順心如意，但一切都是值得的。

Now Is Not the Time to Be Stubborn

現在不是頑固的時候

If your kids are not with you and you will be alone, now is not the time to be stubborn and hide away. Of course, if you want some time alone to cry on the holidays, that's OK and to be expected. It's extremely hard missing your kids. That said, don't spend the whole holiday alone. Try to create a new tradition - something you can do whenever you don't have the kids at the holidays. Maybe you and a friend go see the tree in your city. Maybe you and a group of moms get together to go holiday shopping. Or perhaps you even offer to cook some dishes in exchange for a seat at the holiday table, whether it's with friends or family.

如果你的孩子不在身邊，你孤身一人，那現在可不是頑固的時候、也不是逃避的時候。當然，如果你想在節假日一個人默默痛哭，那就沒有關係了，期待節假日的到來吧！思念自己的孩子十分痛苦。所以，不要一個人度過節假日。試着創造新的傳統吧——節假日沒有孩子你也可以做的事。也許你可以和朋友一起去城裏看樹。也許你可以和一幫辣媽出去購物。亦或者你可以燒些菜帶去朋友或家人的家中，和他們一起過節。

You are allowed to be sad. You are allowed to cry. Just don't isolate yourself, please. The temptation to do so will be high, trust me. I've been there before, and it can be really destructive to your soul. Don't do it.

你可以悲傷、可以哭泣，但請別孤立自己。相信我，誘惑很大的。我有過此番經歷，這非常破壞我們的靈魂，千萬別這樣做！

Make Alternative Holiday Dates With the Kids

和孩子度過另類假期

OK, so you don't have the littles for Christmas or Thanksgiving, so does that mean the holidays can't happen? Nope! You make a day they are with you Mom's Christmas, Hanukkah, or what have you, and you create a celebration of your own. Although this is hard to adjust to, it doesn't have to be the actual calendar day to matter. Your child or children of divorce will look forward to having that "holiday, part deux" with you.

好了，你家小孩不和你一起度過聖誕節或感恩節，所以這就意味着不過節假日了？不是！你可以讓他們和你度過媽媽聖誕節、光明節或任何節日，創造屬於自己的慶祝方式。儘管這很難調節，但不一定是日曆上的節假日才作數。你的孩子將期待和母親度過第二個節假日。