讓愛情更堅固的5個小祕密
1. 找到折衷點。
“婚姻就得互相遷就。” 亞利桑那州圖桑市(Tucson)一位退休的醫院院長瑪琳•克里奇(Marlene Critch)說。1959年，她經人介紹認識了自己未來的丈夫比爾(Bill)。比爾帶了一水壺的酒，邀她一起外出野餐，兩個月後兩人就結爲伉儷。
-- Find the middle ground. 'It's all give and take,' says Marlene Critch, a retired hospital director in Tucson. She met her husband Bill on a blind date in 1959. He took her on a picnic with a thermos of gin and tonics; they married two months later.
一轉眼，50年過去了。克里奇夫婦在西雅圖養大了兩個女兒，比爾患有嚴重的心臟病，但兩人依然相互扶持，不離不棄。他們每天早上一起游泳，瑪琳晚上睡不着的時候，比爾就給她念童話故事，幫她安睡。
Flash ahead 50 years. The Critches have raised two daughters in Seattle and weathered his severe heart condition. They swim together each morning, and he reads her children's books when she has trouble falling asleep at night.
他們說，妥協和讓步幫助他們度過婚姻中的起起伏伏。75歲的比爾說，他做出的妥協是結婚不久後就從空軍退役，因爲瑪琳受不了他長時間不在家的日子。（在我的逼問下，他又說了一樣東西：“日本醬湯”。）
Compromise, they say, got them through the good and bad times. Mr. Critch, 75, says he compromised by quitting the Air Force early in their marriage, because it bothered her that he was away from home so much. (Press him for more concessions, and he says, 'Miso soup.')
74歲的瑪琳說，她做出的妥協是同意退休後到亞利桑那州生活，因爲她丈夫喜歡那裏的氣候。（她自己希望繼續住在西雅圖，離女兒們近一點。）
Ms. Critch, 74, says she made her own compromise by agreeing to retire to Arizona, where her husband preferred the climate. (She wanted to stay in Seattle to be close to their daughters.)
“如果每人都能讓步75%，兩個人就有150%的靈活空間。” 瑪琳說道。她丈夫也表示同意：“很多男人會說這是怕老婆的表現，但我不這麼看。向妻子妥協，是因爲對我而言，她是這世上最重要的。”
'If each person can give 75 percent, you've got 150 percent,' says Ms. Critch. Her husband agrees. 'Many men would call that wussy,' he says. 'But I don't because I value her more than anything else in the world.'
與此相似，簡•康科爾(Jan Konkel)和蘭恩•康科爾(Len Konkel)已經結婚62年。他們很久以前就彼此說好，永遠不爲小事而爭吵，這讓他們在如何養育自己三個孩子等方面少了很多爭吵。“除了婚姻，其他的都是小事，都可以商量着解決。”84歲的簡說道。
Similarly, Jan and Len Konkel, who have been married for 62 years, long ago made a pact to never argue over anything that wasn't very important, saving their battles for things like how to raise their three children. 'Everything else is minor and can be settled in a discussion,' says Ms. Konkel, 84.
88歲的蘭恩也同意妻子的說法：“我們有商有量的，我經常說‘好的、老婆’，也經常說‘不好、老婆’。”
Her husband, well, agrees. 'I say 'Yes ma'am' and 'No ma'am' a lot,' says Mr. Konkel, 88.
2. 要有幽默感。1967年的一個晚上，傑琪•伊根(Jackie Egan)和肯•伊根(Ken Egan)在馬薩諸塞州Newton市一家舞蹈俱樂部相識。肯向傑琪索吻，但遭到拒絕。“我還不瞭解你，” 傑琪對他說，“而且我的吻就像‘樂事薯片’一樣，你不可能只想吃一片。”
-- Be funny. On the night in 1967 that Jackie and Ken Egan met at a dance club in Newton, Mass., he asked her for a kiss. She declined: 'I don't know you,' she told him. 'And my kisses are like Lay's potato chips -- you wouldn't want just one.'
伊根夫婦住在馬薩諸塞州的Marshfield市，養育了四個孩子，兩人週一剛剛慶祝了40週年的結婚紀念日。傑琪說，幽默幫他們度過很多難關，不然的話他們會被生活中的一些小事逼瘋──比如肯在飲食上挑三揀四，經常忘記把坐便器的蓋子放下來；傑琪往往不等丈夫把故事說完就打斷他，還喜歡買很多的小擺設。
The Egans, who live in Marshfield, Mass., and have four children, just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary on Monday. Ms. Egan says laughter helps them deal with issues that would otherwise drive them nuts -- such as Mr. Egan's fussy eating habits and forgetfulness about putting the toilet seat down. Or Ms. Egan's inability to let her husband finish a story without interrupting him, or her many knickknacks.
“你得從對方惱人的生活習慣中發現一些有趣的地方，這有助於維護雙方的感情，”69歲的傑琪說道。
'You need to learn to find the humor in each other's annoying habits. It helps you keep the affection,' says Ms. Egan, 69.
重點單詞查看全部解釋impressed想一想再看
adj. 外加的；印象深刻的；了不起的；受感動的
mate[meit]想一想再看
n. 夥伴，配偶，同事
vt. 使 ... 配
想一想再看
adj. 固定的；穩定的 v. 解決；定居（settle
opera['ɔpərə]想一想再看
n. 歌劇
n. 挪威Opera軟件公司的瀏覽
a和o結尾的都是藝術單詞，源於意大利 legend['ledʒənd]
想一想再看
n. 傳說，傳奇
聯想記憶X單詞legend聯想記憶：leg腿，end完：腿完蛋了，是因爲沒有看圖例，所以跑路 soap[səup]
想一想再看
n. 肥皂
vt. 用肥皂洗，阿諛奉承
想一想再看
n. 慈愛，喜愛，感情，影響
聯想記憶X單詞affection聯想記憶：affect+ion→感動→感情；友情 compromise['kɔmprəmaiz]
想一想再看
n. 妥協，折衷，折衷案
vt. 妥協處理，危
com共同，promise發誓：停戰妥協就是兩個國家共同發誓不打仗的產物。 celebrated['selibreitid]
想一想再看
adj. 著名的，聲譽卓著的 動詞celebrate的過
聯想記憶X單詞celebrated聯想記憶：cerebr腦，有頭腦－知名的，celebrate（v 讚揚）：被讚揚的－知名的 severe[si'viə]
想一想再看
adj. 劇烈的，嚴重的，嚴峻的，嚴厲的，嚴格的
聯想記憶X單詞severe聯想記憶：severe的人總是sever
3. 保留自己的（一些）小祕密。1961年，撲克教父多爾•布朗森在德克薩斯州一個西部鄉村俱樂部遇到自己未來的妻子路易絲。多爾告訴路易絲自己以賭博爲生，路易絲不以爲意，全盤接受了他。“最重要的是彼此相愛，”現年78歲的路易絲說，“你必須愛你的配偶，甚至超過自己的生命。”
-- Keep (some) secrets. When poker legend Doyle Brunson met his wife Louise at a country-and-western club in Texas in 1961, he told her he gambled for a living. And she accepted him for who he is. 'Love is the most important thing,' says Louise Brunson, 78. 'You have to love your spouse more than life itself.'
布朗森夫婦住在拉斯維加斯，在47年的婚姻生活中經歷過不少嚴峻的考驗，包括一個女兒的死亡，以及一起對自己房子的武裝搶劫，當時他們都遭到捆綁，被人用槍指着頭。
The Brunsons, who live in Las Vegas, have stood by each other through some serious trials in their 47 years of marriage, including the death of a daughter and an armed robbery of their home, during which they were tied up at gunpoint.
“生活還得繼續，沒辦法回頭。”76歲的多爾說。即便如此，布朗森夫婦並不分享彼此之間的所有祕密。多爾從不跟路易絲談自己的生意。“我經常有幾百萬美元的輸贏，而我從不讓她知道，”多爾說。路易絲表示，丈夫這麼做沒問題。“我有自己的銀行存款帳戶，”她說道。
'You have to go forward, you can't go back,' says Mr. Brunson, 76. Even so, the Brunsons don't share everything. He does not discuss his business with her. 'I have won and lost millions of dollars without her knowing,' he says. Ms. Brunson says that's just fine with her. 'I have my own bank account,' she says.
重點單詞查看全部解釋impressed想一想再看
adj. 外加的；印象深刻的；了不起的；受感動的
mate[meit]想一想再看
n. 夥伴，配偶，同事
vt. 使 ... 配
想一想再看
adj. 固定的；穩定的 v. 解決；定居（settle
opera['ɔpərə]想一想再看
n. 歌劇
n. 挪威Opera軟件公司的瀏覽
a和o結尾的都是藝術單詞，源於意大利 legend['ledʒənd]
想一想再看
n. 傳說，傳奇
聯想記憶X單詞legend聯想記憶：leg腿，end完：腿完蛋了，是因爲沒有看圖例，所以跑路 soap[səup]
想一想再看
n. 肥皂
vt. 用肥皂洗，阿諛奉承
想一想再看
n. 慈愛，喜愛，感情，影響
聯想記憶X單詞affection聯想記憶：affect+ion→感動→感情；友情 compromise['kɔmprəmaiz]
想一想再看
n. 妥協，折衷，折衷案
vt. 妥協處理，危
com共同，promise發誓：停戰妥協就是兩個國家共同發誓不打仗的產物。 celebrated['selibreitid]
想一想再看
adj. 著名的，聲譽卓著的 動詞celebrate的過
聯想記憶X單詞celebrated聯想記憶：cerebr腦，有頭腦－知名的，celebrate（v 讚揚）：被讚揚的－知名的 severe[si'viə]
想一想再看
adj. 劇烈的，嚴重的，嚴峻的，嚴厲的，嚴格的
聯想記憶X單詞severe聯想記憶：severe的人總是sever
4. 永不放棄。這一點尤其重要，需要引起我們的注意。雪倫•奧斯伯恩說，正是這一信條讓她堅守在丈夫奧茲•奧斯伯恩身邊28年，並將繼續堅守下去。她嫁給了一個“黑暗王子”，奧茲曾經把一隻活蝙蝠的頭活生生地咬下來。（還有一次咬的是一隻鴿子。）
-- Never, ever give up. This tip is really important, so pay attention. Sharon Osbourne says it is how she stayed with husband Ozzy for 28 years and counting. And she's married to the Prince of Darkness. He bit the head off of a live bat, for God's sake. (Ditto a dove.)
奧茲多年來吸毒和酗酒成癮，根本不管這種做法將給追星族們帶來不良影響，以及過量吸食可能會致死。奧茲曾放火把自己的房子點燃，在高速公路正中間昏迷不醒，還有一次差點把雪倫勒死。
He also spent years strung out on drugs and alcohol. Never mind the groupies and the near-fatal overdoses. This man set fire to his house, passed out on a freeway median, and once tried to strangle his wife.
雪倫自己也曾試圖用車撞死奧茲，用榔頭把奧茲獲得的金唱片獎砸碎，並向法院申請對奧茲的禁制令。“我們之間的婚姻就像一場肥皂鬧劇，”57歲的雪倫說，她同時也是丈夫的經紀人。
Ms. Osbourne, for her part, tried to run him over with a car, smashing his gold records with a hammer and taking out a restraining order. 'We became like a soap opera,' says Ms. Osbourne, 57, who is her husband's manager.
儘管如此，雪倫仍未離開奧茲。爲什麼？因爲她覺得丈夫清醒的時候是個好人，而且有朝一日能把毒癮和酒癮戒掉。她還深信，奧茲就是自己的靈魂伴侶。“最近有兩次，我們在同一個晚上做了同樣的夢。” 雪倫說。
And yet she stuck by her man. Why? Because she felt he was a good person when sober and that he would kick his addictions one day. And she still believes he is her soul mate. ('Twice recently we've had the same dream on the same night,' she says.)
“我結婚的時候，堅信這段感情將永生永世，我是個很固執的人。” 和丈夫生了三個孩子的雪倫說道。
'I went into marriage thinking it was forever. So I was stubborn,' says Ms. Osbourne who has three children with her husband.
以前結過一次婚的奧茲在“六、七年前”終於醒悟過來，他說很高興妻子對自己始終不離不棄，“不能一遇到麻煩，就馬上搖白旗投降。” 奧茲說道。
Mr. Osbourne, who had been married once before, finally did sober up 'six or seven years' ago, he says. He says he is very glad his wife stuck it out. 'You don't throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble,' he says.
奧茲說自己始終記住一點，每天都對妻子說“我愛你”──不管身在世界哪個地方，不管是否爛醉如泥，或吸毒吸得神智不清。“有的時候她會說‘去死吧！’或‘給我滾！’，但吵架意味着至少我們還在對話。如果夫妻之間不再交談，那就該說拜拜了。”
And so Mr. Osbourne says he has made a point of telling his wife he loved her every single day -- no matter where he was in the world, no matter how drunk or high. 'She sometimes said 'Drop dead' or 'F -- off,' he says. 'But at least if you are arguing, you are talking. If you stop talking, it's time to call it a day.'
重點單詞查看全部解釋impressed想一想再看
adj. 外加的；印象深刻的；了不起的；受感動的
mate[meit]想一想再看
n. 夥伴，配偶，同事
vt. 使 ... 配
想一想再看
adj. 固定的；穩定的 v. 解決；定居（settle
opera['ɔpərə]想一想再看
n. 歌劇
n. 挪威Opera軟件公司的瀏覽
a和o結尾的都是藝術單詞，源於意大利 legend['ledʒənd]
想一想再看
n. 傳說，傳奇
聯想記憶X單詞legend聯想記憶：leg腿，end完：腿完蛋了，是因爲沒有看圖例，所以跑路 soap[səup]
想一想再看
n. 肥皂
vt. 用肥皂洗，阿諛奉承
想一想再看
n. 慈愛，喜愛，感情，影響
聯想記憶X單詞affection聯想記憶：affect+ion→感動→感情；友情 compromise['kɔmprəmaiz]
想一想再看
n. 妥協，折衷，折衷案
vt. 妥協處理，危
com共同，promise發誓：停戰妥協就是兩個國家共同發誓不打仗的產物。 celebrated['selibreitid]
想一想再看
adj. 著名的，聲譽卓著的 動詞celebrate的過
聯想記憶X單詞celebrated聯想記憶：cerebr腦，有頭腦－知名的，celebrate（v 讚揚）：被讚揚的－知名的 severe[si'viə]
想一想再看
adj. 劇烈的，嚴重的，嚴峻的，嚴厲的，嚴格的
聯想記憶X單詞severe聯想記憶：severe的人總是sever
5. 多活幾年。我姐姐是個醫生。她對我講起自己一個病人的故事。那是位92歲高齡的女士，她每次來看病的時候，94歲的丈夫都陪着她一起來。這對高齡夫婦已經結婚將近70年。
-- Stay alive. My sister, a doctor, told me about one of her patients, a 92-year-old woman who showed up for her appointment with her husband, who is 94. They said they have been married for almost 70 years.
我姐姐很是驚訝，問那對夫妻婚姻如此長久的祕訣。他們彼此對望了許久，然後那個妻子說話了：“呃，因爲我們倆都還沒死。”
My sister, highly impressed, asked the couple the secret to their union's longevity. And they looked at each other for a long moment. Then the wife spoke: 'Eh, neither of us died.'
重點單詞查看全部解釋impressed想一想再看
adj. 外加的；印象深刻的；了不起的；受感動的
mate[meit]想一想再看
n. 夥伴，配偶，同事
vt. 使 ... 配
想一想再看
adj. 固定的；穩定的 v. 解決；定居（settle
opera['ɔpərə]想一想再看
n. 歌劇
n. 挪威Opera軟件公司的瀏覽
a和o結尾的都是藝術單詞，源於意大利 legend['ledʒənd]
想一想再看
n. 傳說，傳奇
聯想記憶X單詞legend聯想記憶：leg腿，end完：腿完蛋了，是因爲沒有看圖例，所以跑路 soap[səup]
想一想再看
n. 肥皂
vt. 用肥皂洗，阿諛奉承
想一想再看
n. 慈愛，喜愛，感情，影響
聯想記憶X單詞affection聯想記憶：affect+ion→感動→感情；友情 compromise['kɔmprəmaiz]
想一想再看
n. 妥協，折衷，折衷案
vt. 妥協處理，危
com共同，promise發誓：停戰妥協就是兩個國家共同發誓不打仗的產物。 celebrated['selibreitid]
想一想再看
adj. 著名的，聲譽卓著的 動詞celebrate的過
聯想記憶X單詞celebrated聯想記憶：cerebr腦，有頭腦－知名的，celebrate（v 讚揚）：被讚揚的－知名的 severe[si'viə]
想一想再看
adj. 劇烈的，嚴重的，嚴峻的，嚴厲的，嚴格的
聯想記憶X單詞severe聯想記憶：severe的人總是sever
