倫敦奧運的妙處到底在何處?

Mea culpa. I had thought that the 2012 Olympics were destined to descend into chaos. I now know that the games will be a triumphant celebration of London's place as an unrivalled global hub. My first error was to underestimate the guile of the organisers; my second to be naive about the proper measure of success.

是我的錯。我曾以爲，2012年倫敦奧運會註定要成爲一場鬧劇。現在我知道，倫敦奧運會將辦成一次熱鬧的歡慶會，爲倫敦無與倫比的全球中心地位喝彩。我一是錯在低估了組織者的狡猾，二是錯在，對於什麼纔是衡量成功的合適標準，我的看法太過天真。

The scales fell from my eyes the other day when the London Underground suffered another of its catastrophic breakdowns. Thousands were trapped underground in baking heat. The grand design suddenly came into pin-sharp focus. Some might have thought this latest incident was another reason why sane people should flee the capital before the Olympic hordes arrive. Well, yes. But–and here is the brilliance of Lord Coe and his fellow 2012 panjandrums–that's the plan.

就在倫敦地鐵系統再次發生重大故障的那一天，我恍然大悟。當時，數千人被困在地下，酷熱難耐。這個宏大的設計作品一下成爲了人們的關注焦點。有些人或許會想，這起最新的事故，是那些理智的人們應該在奧運人潮到來之前逃離倫敦的又一個原因。恩，沒錯。但這樣就正中了組織者們的下懷，而這一計劃得益於科勳爵(Lord Coe)和倫敦奧組委其他大員們的出衆才華。

The strategy was put in place many months ago. It began with an announcement that every decent hotel room in London had been pre-booked by the apparatchiks and commercial sponsors who, without a hint of irony, go by the name of the Olympic family. This 40,000-strong elite had also grabbed all the best seats at all the best events.

具體策略在好幾個月前就已部署到位。先是有消息說，倫敦所有像樣的酒店房間都已被政府官員和商業贊助商預訂一空，而且是以奧運大家庭的名義（絕不含一絲諷刺意味）。這個4萬多人的精英羣體還霸佔了所有熱門賽事的最佳觀看座位。

Hot on its heels came a statement that arterial roads will be cordoned off into Zil lanes to allow members of the family to be whisked between hotel suites and stadiums, pools and velodromes. Mere mortals whose vehicles stray into these reserved routes will face draconian penalties. Residents will be fined for parking outside their own properties.

緊接着，官方宣佈，奧運會期間，主要道路將劃出專用車道，以便"大家庭"的成員能夠順暢地往來於酒店、體育場、游泳館和室內賽車場之間。普通人的車輛一旦駛入這些專用車道，將受到嚴厲的處罰。居民若將車輛停在自家住宅外，也將接到罰單。

Those with the temerity to challenge the branding rights of sponsors can expect similar punishment. London has been gifted to McDonald's, Coca-Cola and the like for the duration of the games. Wear a T-shirt advertising Pepsi and you could be sent to the slammer.

那些膽敢侵犯贊助商廣告權的人，你們也等着挨罰吧。在奧運會期間，倫敦已經作爲禮物送給了麥當勞(McDonald's)、可口可樂(Coca-Cola)這樣的贊助商。你要是穿着一件宣傳百事可樂(Pepsi)的T恤，有可能會惹上牢獄之災。

David Cameron has played his part. Innocents may have thought that the chaos at Heathrow has been no more than another example of the manifest incompetence of Mr Cameron's government. Theresa May, the home secretary, is incapable of managing an immigration queue. Images of the dire conditions at the airport have been aired on television networks around the world. What better way to persuade people to stay away.

戴維•卡梅倫(David Cameron)也"功不可沒"。那些天真的人可能曾想，倫敦希思羅機場(Heathrow)的混亂只不過再一次表明，卡梅倫政府顯然能力有限。入境檢查處排起了長龍，英國內政大臣特蕾莎•梅(Theresa May)卻不知如何應對。全世界的人們都通過電視網絡看到了希思羅機場的混亂畫面。還有什麼比這更能說服人們遠離這塊是非之地？

Every lull in the build-up to July's opening ceremony has been carefully filled with bad news. Boris Johnson, newly re-elected as mayor of London, has published guidance for those who might want to move around the city during the games. In summary, it says they should walk, get on a bike or stay at home. Passengers at every big rail interchange have been told to expect delays of at least an hour even before they can be crammed like sardines into steaming carriages. Tube travellers buckle in the summer heat at the best of times. For the games, Mr Johnson is proffering an invitation to hell.

在7月份奧運會開幕式之前，方方面面都被一個個壞消息"精心"填滿。最近當選連任倫敦市長的鮑里斯•約翰遜(Boris Johnson)公佈了一項指導意見，總體來說，就是建議那些在奧運會期間想要在倫敦走走逛逛的人，最好採用步行或是騎自行車的方式，或是乾脆就呆在家中。地鐵乘客得知，在地鐵各個主要換乘點，可能至少要等上一個小時，才能像沙丁魚一樣被塞進火爐一般的車廂。即使在最好的時候，夏日酷暑也會讓地鐵乘客們一個個蔫頭耷腦。約翰遜似乎是在發出這樣的奧運會邀請：歡迎來到地獄。

Some folk will manage to reach the Olympic park. There they will be stripped of any food and drink they might be carrying to sustain them during the spectacle. How else to force them to pay the exorbitant prices that will be demanded by official franchisees?

經過一番努力，有些人將終於能夠進入奧林匹克公園。爲了不在觀看錶演時餓肚子，他們也許會隨身帶上食物，但在那裏，他們的一切食物和飲料都將被沒收。除此以外，還有什麼辦法迫使他們購買官方特許經銷商出售的高價食品呢？

Businesses have been forewarned. Lest the transport network completely implode companies have been told to slash the numbers of employees commuting into the centre. Workers will stretch their vacations or spend time with their laptops in the garden. Never mind the economy is in recession.

企業也被事先打好了招呼。爲了防止交通網絡陷入癱瘓，企業被要求大幅減少往返於市中心上班的員工人數。上班族們將延長他們的假期，或是在花園裏用筆記本電腦打發時間。經濟衰退？沒人在意。

It is when you put the pieces together that the ingenuity of the 2012 organisers takes shape. From the very beginning the plan has not been to stage a great carnival, but to empty the city. London will belong to the Olympic family and to those lucky souls with tickets.

只有當你把一件件小事放到一起，纔會感受到2012年奧運會組織者的聰明才智和別出心裁。從一開始，他們的計劃就不是要獻上一場宏大的狂歡盛宴，而是要打造一座"空城"。倫敦將屬於"奧林匹克大家庭"，屬於那些手裏有票的幸運兒。

I had fondly imagined that a successful games demanded public participation. The organisers have understood that it is the billions who watch the games on TV who matter. The images beamed to Beijing, Delhi, New York and Tokyo will be the real measure of success.

我曾天真地以爲，一屆成功的奧運會需要公衆的參與。而組織者們認爲，真正重要的那羣人，是在電視機前觀看比賽的數十億觀衆。向北京、德里、紐約和東京傳送的畫面纔是衡量成功的真正標準。

These distant viewers will see athletes skipping untroubled through a deserted and well-staffed Heathrow. They will see reports of trains running smoothly, of red buses speeding along unclogged roads, and of restaurants, bars, parks and museums with plenty of room to spare. For a month or so London will actually work. Only those of us who actually live here will know that it is all a fraud. That's what I call genius.

那些遠在千里之外的觀衆將看到運動員們暢行無阻地通過空空蕩蕩、管理有序的希思羅機場。他們將看到列車運行通暢的報道，不僅如此，他們還將看到新聞報道里說：紅色巴士在沒有路障的道路上疾馳，餐廳、酒吧、公園和博物館空曠宜人。在一個月左右的時間中，倫敦的確將保持正常運轉。但只有我們這些真正住在此地的人才知道，這些全都是騙人的把戲。這，就是我所謂的"天才"。