十位農民出身的統治者(2)

dora – Byzantium

7.狄奧多拉——拜占庭

Born in 500 AD, Theodora was the daughter of a bear trainer and grew up in the hippodrome, where her actress mother started to teach her the tricks of the trade. By 15 she had become a child star in the arts of comedy, mime, and, well, prostitution. Her exploits were legendary, rough housing, flashing, and performing acts with geese we'd rather not imagine. Supposedly, she'd frequently take on 10 men at a time, and when they tired, she'd take on all of their servants. She had a lot of stamina, is what we're trying to say.

狄奧多拉生於公元500年，她是一位訓熊師的女兒，在馬戲團中長大。她的母親是位演員，也是在這裏開始傳授她演技的訣竅。15歲時她已經是一個童星了，從事着喜劇、啞劇以及，賣淫工作。她的事蹟是個傳奇，在簡陋的房屋中，她閃耀着光芒，與鵝共舞的場面，我們最好還是不要去想象。據說，她常常同時接十個客人，當嫖客累了，她又去接待他們的僕役。我們想說的是，她的精力十分旺盛。

After finding religion at 18, the emperor Justinian I was struck with her beauty, so much so that he changed the law just so that he could marry her. She began taking on several of the emperor's duties, including passing laws and consulting with foreign rulers. She also tried to end the sex slave trade and issued anti-rape legislation, becoming one of the earliest champions of women's rights.

狄奧多拉18歲找到信仰之後，東羅馬帝國的皇帝查士丁尼一世(Justinian I )被她的美貌迷住了，爲了能夠娶她爲妻，查士丁尼一世甚至修改了法律。此後，狄奧多拉開始着手處理一些皇帝的事務，包括通過法律、會見外國首領等等。她還嘗試終止性奴隸貿易，頒佈了反強姦法案，成爲女權運動最早的擁護者之一。

minus Thrax – Rome

6.馬克西米努斯·色雷克斯——羅馬

MaXiminus Thorax was was a shepherd and reportedly a giant, said to have been more than eight feet tall. Being thought a giant with superhuman strength, it was no surprise when he began working his way up through the Roman military. In 235 AD, when in command of a force of recruits in Germany, the soldiers decided they would prefer Maximinus to be their ruler, killing Alexander and putting the giant into a position of ultimate power.

據說，馬克西米努斯·色雷克斯是個高大的牧羊人，身高超過八英尺（約2.44米）。人們認爲他身材魁梧，力能扛鼎，因此他自然能在羅馬軍隊中平步青雲。公元235年，馬克西米努斯在德國負責統帥新兵團。士兵們極力擁護他稱帝，並殺了當時的羅馬帝國皇帝亞歷山大·塞維魯(Alexander)，從而把這位巨人推向權力的巔峯。

With war being all he knew, he extorted and confiscated lands from the property owning class, finally heading to Italy to suppress his challengers to the throne. He never made it to Rome though, as his troops killed him in 238 AD after apparently realizing size isn't everything, and he was a pretty terrible leader. He carries the distinction of being a Roman emperor who never actually visited Rome. Well, except for his severed head, which his mutinous soldiers brought to the city after removing it from his neck.

只會打仗的馬克西米努斯不斷侵佔或沒收所有者階級的領土，還率軍向意大利挺進，意圖減少意大利對他皇位的威脅。但公元238年，在尚未抵達羅馬之前,馬克西米努斯就被部下們殺害了，因爲他們意識到光有魁梧的身材是遠遠不夠的，而且他是一位非常糟糕的領袖。馬克西米努斯成爲了一位獨特的羅馬皇帝，因爲他從來沒有去過羅馬。當然了，他那被部下砍下的頭顱，還是被帶進過羅馬城的。

Bang – China

5.劉邦——中國

Born in 256 BC to a peasant family, Liu was a troublemaker and a truant as a child. It was only when he saw the emperor riding in a magnificent carriage that he thought he wanted the high life for himself and began to work toward achieving his goals of wealth and power. After spending time working his way up the administration ladder, he saw an easier path to become emperor and became a rebel leader.

劉邦於公元前256年出生在一個農民家庭。兒時的劉邦調皮搗蛋，十分懶散。直到某日，他看到乘坐氣派馬車的秦始皇，從而燃起了對榮華富貴的渴望，並開始了求富逐權之路。在他努力攀爬權利階梯之時，卻發現想要成爲君主有一條捷徑可走，於是率兵揭竿起義。

It took Liu just two years to beat his arch rival Xiang Yu in capturing the capital, but was forced to spend the next four years keeping his rival at bay. Once he had finally beaten his enemy's larger rebel army, he became known as Emperor Gaozu of Han, and began the Han dynasty that lasted for 400 years. He never did lose his childish ways, though, once urinating into a scholar's hat to show his disdain for education.

劉邦領兵征戰兩年，最後先於勁敵項羽佔領秦都咸陽城，但他在接下來的四年裏卻一直受到項羽的牽制。最終，漢軍大敗楚軍，劉邦登基，成爲了衆所周知的漢高祖，存世400年的漢朝也由此登上歷史舞臺。雖然劉邦已成爲一國之君，但他依舊保持兒時的頑皮——他曾爲了表示對教育的不屑，朝夫子的帽子裏撒尿呢！

tomi Hideyoshi – Japan

4.豐臣秀吉——日本

A peasant born in 16th century Japan, Toyotomi was fatherless at the age of seven, a peasant, and pretty famously ugly. So in other words, he got a pretty crappy start in life. With nothing else going for him, he went looking for adventure and joined the Oda clan, where he proved himself brilliant in battle and rose through the ranks. He earned the trust of a man named Oda Nobunaga (commonly referred to as the Demon King), who gave Toyotomi control of his own troops to lay siege to castles, capture cities, and force generals into committing suicide. As luck would have it, those were some of Toyotomi's favorite hobbies.

豐臣秀吉出生在16世紀的日本,他七歲喪父，生來就是農民，又長得極其醜陋，所以換句話說，他早年過的很差勁。一無所有的他決定出去闖蕩還投靠了織田家。在戰場上他的才智得以發揮，並通過戰績得到提拔。豐臣深得織田信長（人們所熟知的第六天魔王）的信任，並被派去帶領其軍隊攻城略池，以及逼迫將領自盡。而碰巧這些都是豐臣秀吉喜歡做的事情。

When Oda Nobunaga was killed, Hideyoshi brought his killer's head to his grave as vengeance, because flowers just won't do. He continued taking over Japan, eventually ending the warring states period that had lasted 150 years. As the new regent of Japan he launched two invasions of Korea, put an end to social mobility since he didn't think a peasant should be a ruler. Presumably because there wasn't a Japanese word for "irony."

織田信長被殺之後，豐臣秀吉取了殺手的首級，並放到他的墓前祭奠他，這件祭品的復仇意義是鮮花所不能替代的。此後，豐臣秀吉逐步控制日本，最終結束已經持續了150年的戰國時代。作爲日本新的統治者，豐臣秀吉兩次征討朝鮮，並設法禁止社會階層的流動性，因爲他認爲農民無法成爲統治者。大概日語中並沒有"諷刺"這個詞。

審稿:張茜 編輯:Freya然 校對:CMX