爆笑圖集:你就這樣毀掉了你的面試
1 What‘s your greatest strength? —— I’m good at saying no and knowing my limits.
你最大的優點是什麼?——我善於說不,懂得自己的界限。Can you give an example of a time that was useful? —— No,I cannot.
你能舉個例子說明這一優點的用處嗎?——不,我不能。2 Why did you leave your last job? —— My last job was school.
你上一次離職的原因是什麼?——我上一個工作是上學。
Oh. —— And they didn’t pay me.
噢。——而且學校還沒付我工資。In fact I paid them. —— Wow!—— I know!
事實上我還得給他們錢。——噢!——就是啊!3. Name a weakness . —— My questions sound like insults.
說說你的缺點。——我提的問題帶有敵意。Um… can you give me an example? —— Can you not think of one yourself?
呃……你能舉個例子嗎?——你自己不能舉個例子嗎?4. Why should we hire you? —— You have a job opening.
我們爲什麼要僱用你?——你們有一個職位空缺。Yes but many people applied. —— OK wow didn’t know I had to do your job too.
是的,但是我們有很多應聘者。——好吧,我也不是非要幹你這個工作不可呀!5 Describe a failure and how you responded. —— I applied to a better company but they didn’t hire me, so I applied here.
說說你曾經遭遇過的失敗以及你是如何應對的。——我應聘了一家更好的公司,但是他們沒有僱用我。所以我應聘了這個職位。Wow… seriously? —— I know!But you know, desperate times and all…
噢……你不是在開玩笑吧?——你懂的!病急亂投醫,如此這般……’s your 5 year plan?
說說你的五年計劃。Ok, one year plan.
好吧,一年計劃。Ok, any future plan at all. —— I have a snickers in my freezer.
好吧,只要是關於未來的計劃都行。——我的冰箱裏有一條士力架。will you bring to this company? —— A stapler.
你能給這家公司帶來什麼?——一個訂書機。I mean-What proficiencies…
我是說——你有什麼熟練技能……Skills
技巧Gifts
天賦(禮物)——Ok, you can have the stapler.
——好吧,這個訂書機可以送給你作爲禮物。8. Why did you apply here? —— Oh I applied to dozens of places.
你爲什麼要應聘這家公司?——哦,我應聘了幾十家公司。Ok but more specifically. —— specifically 3.5 dozen.
好吧,請具體說說。——具體來說我應聘了42家公司。e do you see yourself in 5 years? —— Hmmmm 2022
你覺得自己五年後會是怎樣?——嗯……2022年(想到了《未來戰爭2022》)Shield your eyes! Gamma blast imminent. —— Sir, are you OK?
掩護你的眼睛!馬上有伽瑪射線暴!——先生,你沒事吧?10. Name a strength. —— I prevent conflicts before they start.
說說你的優點。——我能在衝突爆發前加以預防。Isn't that conflict avoidance? —— It is. You are right. Let's move on.
那不就是“避免衝突”嗎?—— 是的。你是對的。我們繼續下一個問題吧!