摧毀意志力的四樣東西 Four Things That Undermine Your Willpower

Willpower is the ability to inhibit an impulse or desire. It is threatened when an immediate pleasure is in competition with a long-term goal. We want to eat the doughnut, put another dollar in the slot machine, have one more drink, or tell off the boss, but know in the long run these may not be the best decisions. Pigging out right now will create problems for me later, but I really want to, so what should I do? Sometimes you cave, other times you hold strong. Willpower is not a constant. It is not the case that you either have it or you don’t, rather it is the case that sometimes you have it and sometimes you don’t. The big question is this: what makes us cave and what makes us strong? In this post I will discuss the 4 most important reasons we cave. By avoiding these traps, you will more easily exercise your willpower, which will move you closer to achieving what you really want in life.

意志力就是能抑制衝動和慾望的能力。當短暫的滿足感與長期的目標對抗時，那是很威脅人的。我們很想吃油炸圈餅，往自助售貨機上再投一美元，再來一杯飲料，或者指派老闆爲你服務。一時放縱大吃特吃會給你帶來很多後續問題，但當時確實忍不住。那我該怎麼辦吶？有時你會放縱，有時會意志堅定，意志力不是永恆不變的。它不是一件你一直擁有的或者一直未曾擁有過的東西，而是有時你能掌控它，有時卻失去它。關鍵的問題是什麼讓我們變得墮落而又是什麼讓我們堅定。在這篇文章裏，我想談談使我們墮落的關鍵的四個原因。通過避免這些陷阱，你會更容易增強自己的意志力，更易實現生活中我們所追求的目標。

1. Psychological Pain—Stress, depression, anger, and anxiety are the “pain” emotions. Just like physical pain, we are highly motivated to escape psychological pain. If you touch a hot stove, you will immediately and instinctively withdraw your hand. We just as readily and instinctively withdraw from psychological pain, only it is never as easy as just removing your hand from heat. Immediate pleasures are very alluring in moments of pain because they take on one additional purpose—they take the edge off the pain. Pain doubles the power of immediate pleasure, making you very vulnerable to failures of willpower. The research literature consistently shows that psychological pain is the most significant factor affecting loss of control across all pleasure-seeking behaviors, whether it is drinking, smoking, eating, gambling, sex, drugs, etc. If you have a vice, pain will put you in the car and drive you to it. If you know someone who is spinning out of control, you can bet they are engulfed in pain that they are desperately attempting to escape. If you are stuck in a cycle of psychological pain, focus on getting to the source of your pain or else it will gradually erode your self-control.

1、心理上的傷痛——壓力，絕望，憤怒，焦慮是感情上的幾種傷痛。正如身體上的傷痛一樣，我們極力地去避免心靈上的傷痛。如果你無意觸碰到烤爐，你會立即本能地縮回手。同樣，我們只是本能地從心理痛苦中抽身而去，但是永遠不可能像遇熱而收縮回來的手那麼簡單。短暫的歡愉是非常吸引人的，因爲它們被附加了額外的目的—-消除痛苦。痛苦能成倍地增加你對那短暫快樂的渴望。在你毫無戒備的時候趁虛而入，毅力巨無從談起。調查一致認爲，心理上的痛苦是大多數人在尋歡作樂這些行爲上失控的主要原因，像酗酒，抽菸，貪吃，賭博，濫性，吸毒等。如果你染上這些惡習，痛苦會使你失去理智，並讓你陷入其中不可自拔。如果你認識的某些人茫然不知所措，失去控制，你可以確信他們已經完全被痛苦所吞噬，並且他們在拼命地掙扎逃脫。如果你深陷情感的苦海中，那就趕緊集中精力找到痛苦的根源，否則，它會慢慢侵蝕你的自制力。

2. Deprivation—Deprivation is a prolonged state of being restricted from something that is highly desirable. The old adage, absence makes the heart grow fonder, is true in many senses. This is precisely why strict diets that have forbidden foods almost always fail. Eventually, we cave. Why? Deprivation increases the power of what we desire. The tension between the immediate pleasure and long-term consequence tips in favor of the immediate pleasure, making that negotiation more difficult. What to do? Moderation is key but be aware of the fine line between moderation and indulgence. Moderation doesn’t mean that you should consume every unhealthy food you can think of in moderation (e.g., donuts, pizza, cheeseburgers, candy, cookies, etc) because if one truly ate this way they could be eating unhealthy foods all day long. The object is to practice moderation for the entirety of unhealthy foods. Eat healthy almost always, but put nothing off limits or you risk empowering your temptations. (Note that moderation often does not work in the case of addictive behaviors. In that case, abstinence may be necessary for feelings of deprivation to eventually cease.)

2、剝奪。剝奪就是被限制，被強制遠離內心所極度渴望的事物的一種持久的狀態。有句格言這樣說：“越得不到，你內心就越渴望得到”。在很多情況下，經驗證是正確的。這就是嚴格的節食方案通常失敗的原因。最終我們還是屈服了，墮落了。爲什麼吶？禁止令增強了我們追求的慾望。短暫的愉悅與長久的後果間的拉力更傾向與即時的放鬆，這使意志力增強的這個過程更爲困難。究竟該該怎麼辦吶？把握適度是關鍵，留意適度與放任之間的這個界限。適度可不是放任你吃光你只要能想得到的所有垃圾食品，(例如油炸圈餅，乳酪漢堡，糖果，餅乾等)。因爲如果一個人以這種方式去飲食，那他整天都消耗掉這麼多沒營養的食品。我們的目標就是鍛鍊能在這些沒營養的東西面前保持一個度。經常吃健康食品，但是偶爾也可以把所有的限制拋之腦後，或者是好好地享用引誘你的那些食品(注意適度在上了癮的行爲上是不起作用的。在那種情況下，爲了達到最後的目的，節制是很有必要的。)

3. Availability—Resisting chocolate cake is a cinch when you are stranded on a desert island. I’m a willpower pro on a desert island! When temptations are not available, willpower is a nonissue. Nobody eats ice cream they don’t have. Design your life like that desert island, by distancing yourself from the things that push your pleasure buttons. Get them out of the house. The presence of temptations not only increases your failure rate but also distracts you by forcing you to spend energy on a constant mental struggle when your attention could be better spent on…well…life!

3、可行性。當你被困在荒島上時，忍受巧克力蛋糕的誘惑是容易的事。我贊成“孤島訓練法”來增強個人意志力。當誘惑不存在時，毅力就無從談起。沒人會吃他們不可能擁有的冰淇淋。假設你在荒島上那樣來規劃自己的生活。疏遠那些刺激你快樂神經的東西，把他們清理出去。因爲那些誘惑的存在，不僅會提高你自制失敗的機率，還會使你分心，通過強迫你經常在心理鬥爭上花費精力，而你的這些精力若花在生活上，會讓你過上更好的生活。

4. Rationalization and Bargaining—This one can be the trickiest to overcome. We tell ourselves our best lies. And we are the biggest believers of our own BS. I mentioned above that willpower is when the immediate pleasure is in competition with a long-term consequence. We use rationalization to talk ourselves out of that being the current state. We argue that there will be no negative long-term consequence so there is no need to resist the current temptation. What is one doughnut? A few drinks isn’t going to hurt anything! I’m not suggesting you live a life that is lacking in indulgences, but be careful that rationalization can be used at too many decision points, slowly eroding your ability to ever resist. Bargaining works the same way. We strike a deal with ourselves that we will work to offset the consequences later. “I’m going to eat and drink too much tonight, but it will be ok because I’m going to workout extra this weekend.” If you find yourself often promising to clean up your messes later, you are bargaining. The problem is that “later” is also filled with temptations. The messes compound and the time to clean them up just never comes. I recommend paying all debts in advance. If you know you are going to consume 1,000 more calories at dinner than usual, make a plan to have accounted for it before the time comes (a reasonable plan that involves both exercise and diet, not by starving yourself in advance). By planning in advance, there is no issue of willpower, no need to bargain, and no mess to clean up. The good news is that each and every one of us has control over our willpower—if we want it. Take control of your willpower or else it may take control of you.

4、合理化和討價還價。這一條是最難克服的。我們經常會給自己找很多借口。其實我們自己最瞭解自己。上述已提到：“毅力是一時之樂與後續結果較量的產物。所以我們採取合理化方法告訴自己要走出那個難以抉擇的困境。我們有時會與自己內心做鬥爭。認爲沒有消極的持續長久的後果，所以我們沒必要拒絕現時的誘惑與快樂。一個油炸圈餅能怎樣？偶爾的飲酒不會傷害我們的身子。我不是要求你們過沒有縱歡的生活，但是要注意合理的鬆懈不能被頻繁地作爲你的藉口，它會慢慢抵消你的能力直至不在反抗。討價還價以同樣的方式起作用。常與自己妥協，經常會這樣安慰自己，先放縱一下，之後再把這個損失彌補過來。今晚我要大吃特吃，那沒事的，因爲週末要加班。如果你發現自己經常給自己許諾：“我之後會好好清理髒亂不堪的雜物。”那麼，你就是在討價還價。但問題是之後的生活也將充滿無窮的誘惑。混亂妥協與你，但是清理它們的時候永遠不會到。我建議提前還清自己欠下的債。如果想在晚飯的時候消耗掉1000卡路里，那就在那之前就做好準備。(可行的計劃包括鍛鍊和節食，但不能讓自己捱餓)提前做好準備，就無所謂意志力的強弱了。也沒必要去跟自己討價還價，也沒有一大堆的雜務等你去處理。長而久之，有一個好消息就是每個人都可以實現自我控制，只要我們願意，自己去控制自己的毅力，否則你將受制於它。