經典科幻文學:《基本上無害 Mostly Harmless》 第18章10

Ford leapt to his feet fretfully and started pacing backwards and forwards in the feeble, painful light of the early dawn which lay streaked against the sky as if someone had dragged a piece of liver across it.

福特心煩意亂地一躍而起，開始前前後後地在晨曦中散起步。清晨微弱的光線格外賣力，一道道鋪在空中，就好像有人拖着塊肝臟在上頭過了一回似的。

‘You don’t understand how important this is,’ he said.

“你不明白這有多重要。”他說。

‘What? You mean my daughter out there all alone in the Galaxy? You think I don’t…’

“什麼？你是說我女兒一個人待在銀河系裏？你以爲我就不……”

‘Can we feel sorry for the Galaxy later?’ said Ford. ‘This is very, very serious indeed. The Guide has been taken over. It’s been bought out.’

“你能待會兒再爲銀河系難過嗎？”福特說，“這事兒真的非常非常嚴重。《指南》被人接管了。它被人收購了。”

Arthur leapt up. ‘Oh very serious,’ he shouted. ‘Please fill me in straight away on some corporate publishing politics! I can’t tell you how much it’s been on my mind of late!’

阿瑟跳起來，“哦多麼嚴重。”他喊道，“拜託你趕緊跟我講講集團出版業的政治鬥爭問題！我簡直沒法告訴你最近我爲這事有多煩惱！”

‘You don’t understand! There’s a whole new Guide!’

“你不明白！他們重新弄了本《指南》！”

‘Oh!’ shouted Arthur again. ‘Oh! Oh! Oh! I’m incoherent with excitement! I can hardly wait for it to come out to find out which are the most exciting spaceports to get bored hanging about in in some globular cluster I’ve never heard of. Please, can we rush to a store that’s got it right this very instant?’

“哦！”阿瑟又吼起來，“哦！哦！哦！我都激動得不知道說什麼了！我簡直等不及它來告訴我，要是我去了哪個我從沒聽過過的球星星雲，可以找到哪些激動人心的空港讓我待到無聊。拜託我們可以不可以現在就衝到哪家已經在賣的商店去弄上一本？”

Ford narrowed his eyes.

福特眯起眼睛。

‘This is that thing you call sarcasm, isn’t it?’

“這就是你們叫做挖苦的那種東西，對嗎？”

‘Do you know,’ bellowed Arthur, ‘I think it is? I really think it might just be a crazy little thing called sarcasm seeping in at the edges of my manner of speech! Ford, I have had a fucking bad night! Will you please try and take that into account while you consider what fascinating bits of badger-sputumly inconsequential trivia to assail me with next?’

“你知不知道，”阿瑟咆哮道，“我認爲它就是。我真的認爲很可能就是那個名叫挖苦的瘋瘋癲癲的小東西滲透進了我的語言風格里！福特，我今晚過得他媽的糟透了！所以能不能求求你，在決定接下來要用什麼讓人神魂顛倒無關緊要的瑣事來煩我之前把這一點也考慮進去？”

‘Try to rest,’ said Ford. ‘I need to think.’

“試着休息休息。”福特說，“我需要思考。”

‘Why do you need to think? Can’t we just sit and go budum-budumbudum with our lips for a bit? Couldn’t we just dribble gently and loll a little bit to the left for a few minutes? I can’t stand it, Ford! I can’t stand all this thinking and trying to work things out any more. You may think that I am just standing here barking…’

“爲什麼你需要思考？難道我們就不能乾脆坐下來噼裏啪啦帕裏啪啦地動動嘴皮子？難道我們就不能稍微流幾滴口水並且往左邊歪上一歪嗎？我受不了了，福特！我再也受不了什麼思考什麼解決問題。你或許以爲我只是站在這兒瞎吵吵……”

‘Hadn’t occurred to me in fact.’

“之前我還真沒想到。”