經典科幻文學:《 基本上無害 Mostly Harmless》 第8章1

Ford had his own code of ethics. It wasn’t much of one, but it was his and he stuck by it, more or less. One rule he made was never to buy his own drinks. He wasn’t sure if that counted as an ethic, but you have to go with what you’ve got. He was also firmly and utterly opposed to all and any forms of cruelty to any animals whatsoever except geese. And furthermore he would never steal from his employers.

福特有自己的一套道德準則。沒什麼可炫耀的，可這是屬於他的原則，而他也絕不肯違背……基本上。其中一條規矩是永遠不自己掏錢買酒。他不大確定這能不能算得上道德，可你也只能有什麼就拿什麼湊合不是。同時他還堅定地，決絕地反對所有任何虐待動物的行徑，任何動物，只除了鵝。此外，他永遠不會偷竊僱主的財物。

Well, not exactly steal.

好吧，不完全是偷。

If his accounts supervisor didn’t start to hyperventilate and put out a seal-all-exits security alert when Ford handed in his expenses claim then Ford felt he wasn’t doing his job properly. But actually steaLing was another thing. That was biting the hand that feeds you. Sucking very hard on it, even nibbling it in an affectionate kind of a way was OK, but you didn’t actually bite it. Not when that hand was the Guide. The Guide was something sacred and special.

福特這個人，如果他的賬目主管看過了他遞上去的開銷明細，卻沒有一邊深呼吸一邊拉響警報封鎖所有出口，那麼福特就會覺得自己沒有盡到職責。但當真去偷東西就是另一碼事了。偷你的僱主，那就是在咬餵養你的手。使勁地吮吸它，甚至挺親熱地輕輕啃幾下都是可以的，但你不會真的咬。因爲那隻手是《指南》，所以你不會這麼幹。《指南》是神聖的，是特別的。

But that, thought Ford as he ducked and weaved his way down through the building, was about to change. And they had only themselves to blame. Look at all this stuff. Lines of neat grey office cubicles and executive workstation pods. The whole place was dreary with the hum of memos and minutes of meetings flitting through its electronic networks. Out in the street they were playing Hunt the Wocket for Zark’s sake, but here in the very heart of the Guide offices no one was even recklessly kicking a ball around the corridors or wearing inappropriately coloured beachware.

不過，福特一面低着身子在大樓裏鑽來鑽去一面嘀咕：這一點就要改變了。而且也只能抱怨自己。瞧瞧這玩意：一排又一排整整齊齊的灰色小辦公室和執行工作艙，滿樓都是備忘錄沉悶的嗡嗡聲，各種會議記錄在電子網絡裏飛來飛去。看在老天的份上，外頭的人正玩着狩獵毛怪呢，可在《指南》的心臟地帶，你卻找不到一個找樂子的傢伙，沒人在過道上莽莽撞撞地踢球，或者哪怕穿件顏色不合時宜的泳裝。

‘InfiniDim Enterprises,’ Ford snarled to himself as he stalked rapidly down one corridor after another. Door after door magically opened to him without question. Elevators took him happily to places they should not. Ford was trying to pursue the most tangled and complicated route he could, heading generally downwards through the building. His happy little robot took care of everything, spreading waves of acquiescent joy through all the security circuits it encountered.

“無敵帥公司。”福特不禁咬牙切齒。他大步往前走，穿過一條又一條走廊，所有的門都二話不說爲他打開，電梯也高高興興地把他送到不應該去的地方。福特選了他所想象出的最複雜，最曲折的線路。但總的來說一直是在往下走。一切都由那個快樂的小機器人搞定；每次遇上保安電路，它都會散發出一波又一波的默認快感。

Ford thought it needed a name and decided to call it Emily Saunders, after a girl he had very fond memories of. Then he thought that Emily Saunders was an absurd name for a security robot, and decided to call it Colin instead, after Emily’s dog.

福特認爲它需要一個名字，於是決定叫他愛麗絲.桑德斯——愛麗絲.桑德斯是他過去挺喜歡的一個姑娘。然後他又覺得，愛麗絲.桑德斯這名字用在保安機器人身上實在有些過了，於是決定改叫他科林，這是愛麗絲給自己的小狗取得名字。

He was moving deep into the bowels of the building now, into areas he had never entered before, areas of higher and higher security. He was beginning to encounter puzzled looks from the operatives he passed. At this level of security you didn’t even call them people anymore. And they were probably doing stuff that only operatives would do. When they went home to their families in the evening they became people again, and when their little children looked up to them with their sweet shining eyes and said ‘Daddy, what did you do all day today?’ they just said, ‘I performed my duties as an operative,’ and left it at that.

他現在已經深入大樓的腹地，這些區域安全級別越來越高，他過去從來沒到過。路上遇到的員工開始露出迷惑的表情——在這種安全級別，你甚至不能再管他們叫人，他們乾的多半也是除了員工誰都不會幹的事。等晚上回家，這些傢伙才重新變回人形。他們的小娃娃會用乖巧閃亮的眼睛望着他們問：“爸爸，今天一天你都幹了些什麼？”他們就言簡意賅地回答：“我盡了一個員工應盡的職責。”就這麼一句。