經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第17章1

The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy notes that Disaster Area, a plutonium rock band from the Gagrakacka Mind Zones, are generally held to be not only the loudest rock band in the Galaxy, but in fact the loudest noise of any kind at all. Regular concert goers judge that the best sound balance is usually to be heard from within large concrete bunkers some thirty-seven miles from the stage, whilst the musicians themselves play their instruments by remote control from within a heavily insulated spaceship which stays in orbit around the planet – or more frequently around a completely different planet.
Their songs are on the whole very simple and mostly follow the familiar theme of boy-being meets girl-being beneath a silvery moon, which then explodes for no adequately explored reason.
Many worlds have now banned their act altogether, sometimes for artistic reasons, but most commonly because the band’s public address system contravenes local strategic arms limitations treaties.
This has not, however, stopped their earnings from pushing back the boundaries of pure hypermathematics, and their chief research accountant has recently been appointed Professor of Neomathematics at the University of Maximegalon, in recognition of both his General and his Special Theories of Disaster Area Tax Returns, in which he proves that the whole fabric of the space-time continuum is not merely curved, it is in fact totally bent.
Ford staggered back to the table where Zaphod, Arthur and Trillian were sitting waiting for the fun to begin.
“Gotta have some food,” said Ford.
“Hi, Ford,” said Zaphod, “you speak to the big noise boy?”
Ford waggled his head noncommittally.
“Hotblack? I sort of spoke to him, yeah.”
“What’d he say?”
“Well, not a lot really. He’s… er…”
“Yeah?”
“He’s spending a year dead for tax reasons. I’ve got to sit down.”
He sat down.
The waiter approached.
“Would you like to see the menu?” he said, “or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?”
“Huh?” said Ford.
“Huh?” said Arthur.
“Huh?” said Trillian.
“That’s cool,” said Zaphod, “we’ll meet the meat.”

《銀河系漫遊指南》中註明，“災難地帶”足一支來自伽古掎卡卡思維區的鈈播滾樂隊，它不僅被認爲是銀河系中最吵鬧的搖滾樂隊，實際上，它根本就是所有噪音中最吵鬧的。常去聽他們演唱會的歌迷們判斷，最佳音效平衡點通常是在距離舞臺十七英里之外的巨型混凝土碉壤內，而樂手們自己則留在這顆行星軌道上的一艘完全隔音的太空船裏，通過遙控來演奏他們的樂器。更經常的做法是，樂手們留在另一顆行星的軌道上。
他們的所有曲目都非常簡單，大多描寫這樣一個主題：在一輪銀色的月亮之下，男孩遇上了女孩，然後，月亮就在沒有任何充分理由的情況下爆炸了。
許多世界已經完全禁止了他們的演出，有時是因爲藝術上的原因，但大多數時候是因爲這支樂隊的公井擴音系統違反了本地區的《限制戰略性武器條約》，
然而，這並沒有阻止他們大賺特賺，他們的方法是回推“純超數學”的邊界，他們的首席研究會計師最近剛被任命爲馬克希姆佳倫大學的“新數學”教授，這表明，他關於災難地帶返稅的普遍性及特殊性理論獲得了承認，在這一理論中，他證明了時空連續體的整個構造不僅是彎曲的，而且完全是彎曲的
福特搖搖晃晃地回到贊福德、阿瑟和崔莉恩坐的桌子邊，他們在郡兒等待着好戲開場。
“來點兒吃的吧。”福特說。
“嗨！福特，”贊福德說，“你和那個製造巨大噪音的小於談過了嗎？”
福特不置可否地晃着腦袋。
“霍特布萊克？在某種意義上我和他談過了，是的。”
“他說什麼？”
“哦，其實不太多。他……嗯……”
“什麼？”
“因爲稅的原因，他正在度過一年的死亡期。我得坐下來。”
他坐了下來。
侍者走上前來。
“您需要看看菜單嗎？”他說，“或者您來份今天的例餐？”
“啊！”福特說。
”啊！”阿瑟說。
“啊！”崔莉恩說。
“太好了，”贊福德說，“給我們來肉。”