經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第17章10

“Put your analyst on danger money, baby,” advised Zaphod.
“No, wait a minute,” said Ford, emerging above table level again, “where exactly is here?”
“To be absolutely exact sir, it is Frogstar World B.”
“But we just left there,” protested Zaphod, “we left there and came to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.”
“Yes, sir,” said the waiter, feeling that he was now into the home stretch and running well, “the one was constructed on the ruins of the other.”
“Oh,” said Arthur brightly, “you mean we’ve travelled in time but not in space.”
“Listen you semi-evolved simian,” cut in Zaphod, “go climb a tree will you?”
Arthur bristled.
“Go bang your heads together four-eyes,” he advised Zaphod.
“No, no,” the waiter said to Zaphod, “your monkey has got it right, sir.”
Arthur stuttered in fury and said nothing apposite, or indeed coherent.
“You jumped forward… I believe five hundred and seventy-six thousand million years whilst staying in exactly the same place,” explained the waiter. He smiled. He had a wonderful feeling that he had finally won through against what had seemed to be insuperable odds.
“That’s it!” said Zaphod, “I got it. I told the computer to send us to the nearest place to eat, that’s exactly what it did. Give or take five hundred and seventy-six thousand million years, we never moved. Neat.”
They all agreed this was very neat.
“But who,” said Zaphod, “is the cat on the phone?”
“Whatever happened to Marvin?” said Trillian.
Zaphod clapped his hands to his heads.
“The Paranoid Android! I left him moping about on Frogstar B.”
“When was this?”
“Well, er, five hundred and seventy-six thousand million years ago I suppose,” said Zaphod, “Hey, er, hand me the rap-rod, Plate Captain.”
The little waiter’s eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.
“I beg your pardon, sir?” he said.
“The phone, waiter,” said Zaphod, grabbing it off him. “Shee, you guys are so unhip it’s a wonder your bums don’t fall off.”
“Indeed, sir.”

“對你這樣的分析家應該付給額外的報酬纔對，夥計，”贊福德建議道。
“不，等一等，”福特從桌子下跳了下來，“確切地說，這裏究竟是哪兒？”
“絕對確切地說，先生，這裏是蛙星。”
“可是我們剛剛離開那兒，”贊福德抗議道，“我們離開那裏，來到了宇宙盡頭的餐館。”
“是的，先生，”侍者說，感到事情總算進人了自己熟悉的領域，“餐館建在蛙星的廢墟上。”
“哦，”阿瑟恍然大悟，“你的意思是，我們是在時間裏旅行，而不是在空間裏？”
“聽着，你這隻半進化的猿猴，”贊福德打斷了他，“找棵樹爬上去不好嗎？”
阿瑟氣得毛髮倒豎。
“把你自己的兩個腦袋四隻限睛撞到一起吧。”他向贊福德建議。
“別，別，”侍者對贊幅德說，“您的猴子的理解是正確的，先生”
大怒之下，阿瑟張口結舌，沒說出任何恰當的、甚至好歹是連貫的話來。
“你們朝前跳躍了……我相信是五十七萬六千個百萬年，而同時待在原地並沒有移動。”侍者解釋說。他笑了。他現在感覺很不錯，因爲到頭來，他在最渺茫、幾乎不町能的取勝機率下獲得了勝利。
“原來如此！”贊福德說，“我明白了。我告訴電腦送我們到最近的地方吃飯，而這就是它乾的事。哪怕經過了五十七萬六千個百萬年或者隨便多久，我們始終沒有移動。妙掇了。”
大家一致同意，這確實非常巧妙。
“可電話上又是誰呢？”贊福德說
“不知馬文怎麼樣了？”崔莉恩說。
贊福德用手一捫腦袋。
“那個偏執狂機器人！我把他留在蛙星系B世界上了。”
“這是什麼時候的事，”
“嗯，五十七萬六千個百萬年以前吧，我想。”贊福德說，“嘿，嗯，把你手裏那根棒子遞給我，負責盤子的船長。”
小個子侍者感到迷惑不解，眉毛在前額上擰成了一團。
“對不起，您能再說一遍嗎，先生？”他說。
“電話，侍者，”贊犒德說着，一把奪過電話，“嗨，你們這些傢伙簡直一點兒也趕不上時髦，真搞不懂你們都在想些什麼。”
“確實如此，先生。”