雙語幽默爆笑笑話
看看英文幽默笑話和一些讓人笑破肚皮的搞笑小品,讓自己好好放鬆一下。
1、The last chance
最後的機會
The God decided to create “woman”,and he should take a rib from Adam.
上帝決定創造”女人”,但他須要從亞當那得到一支肋骨.
He gave Adam some sleeping-pills smilely,said:”Adam,enjoy the sleepy,this is the last chance that U could enjoy a peacefully sleep without any noise.”
他給了亞當一些安眠藥,微笑地對他說:”亞當,盡情享受睡眠吧, 這是你最後一次可以享受這種安靜,沒有噪音的睡覺機會了.
2、In the Eden,Adam told the God:”I’m lonely,I need a company.”
“Ok,”said the God,”I will give U a perfect woman,beautiful smart and will cook clean and do everything for U,without any complaint and question.”
“Sounds good,”Adam said,”But,to make such a good lady,WHAT is the cost?”
“One arm and One leg.”
“OH,expensive!”after thought for a while,Adam asked:”How about just one RIB?”
2.在天堂裏,亞當對上帝說:”我太寂寞了,我須要一個人陪我.”
“好的”,上帝答到.”我將要給你一個完美的女人,美麗,聰明而且溫柔,她將毫無怨言地爲你燒飯,爲你做一切事情.”
“那太好了.” 亞當說道.”但是,要做出這麼一個完美的女士,我須要付出什麼呢?”
“一隻手和一條腿.”
“噢,那代價太大了!”想了一會,亞當接着問:” 一根肋骨怎麼樣?”
3、The brave heart
A millionaire called on all the bachelors in the city to his home , and take them to a big pool that lived some crocodiles
”I want to find a brave heart,let me see who dare to jump into this pool and swim to the other side--------he will be my son-in-low,get all my fortune and my beautiful daughter.”
Sex! But……Every man looked at each other,with a pale and red dare.
Suddenly, with a “PUTON”,a bachelor jumped into the water,God! He swam towards the other side with a crazy speed!And,with the very lighting speed,he touched the side,and climbed on without even awaking the crocodiles!
The millionaire go ahead and hold his hand:Congratulations !What a brave heart!I suppose U wanna my daughter so much!
“Not at all!”the guy cried,”I just wanna know who son of a bitch pushed me into the poor just now!!”
3.勇士
有一個百萬富翁召集了城裏所有的單身漢去他家裏,並且帶着他們來到一個全是鱷魚的池子邊.
“我希望能找到一個勇士,我想看看誰敢跳下這個池子並且游到對面------他將會成爲我的女婿,得到我所有的財產和我美麗的女兒.
女人! 但是…..每個人都無力的, 臉紅紅的,你看着我,我看着你,沒一個人敢跳下去.
突然,”撲嗵”一聲,天哪! 有個單身漢跳了下去,他以驚人的速度使勁地向對面游去.就像光速一樣,他到達了對岸,並爬上岸,還沒有驚醒沉睡着的鱷魚.
這個富翁走上前去握住他的手: “恭喜你! 勇士,我想你一定非常喜歡我女兒.”
“一點也不,”小夥子答到.”我只想知道,剛纔是哪個龜兒子把我推下池子的.”
4 .
A software engineer bought his son a basketball, and his son asked, “Where is the manual?”
軟件工程師給兒子買了一個籃球，兒子問，“使用手冊在哪兒?”
注：兒子受了老爸很大的影響。
5 .
Elevator operator: This is the fifth floor, son.
Child: How dare you call me son. We’re not related.
Elevator operator: Humph! I brought you up didn’t I?
電梯操作員：孩子，這是第五層.
小孩：你憑什麼叫我孩子，我們倆又沒關係。
電梯操作員：我把你帶上來的(我把你養大的)，是不是?
