英語幽默笑話7篇

笑話是一種經過藝術加工的語言形式,是藝術化的語言，笑話是一種藝術方法，用這種方法造成以笑爲藝術手段的文學藝術作品。下面是本站小編整理的英語幽默笑話6篇，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語笑話一：Is he dying?

A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.

Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.

一個男人坐在酒吧裏痛哭流淚。一個朋友走進來問他爲何如此傷心。那人哭着說：剛纔醫生告訴我，在我的餘生裏都要吃這些藥片。

他的朋友很輕鬆地指出，許多人一輩子每天都要吃藥。當然，男人回答說：但是他只給了我十片。

　　英語笑話二：The blonde and the farmer

There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。

一個金髮女郎，是那麼噁心的黃色笑話她把頭髮染成紅色。笑話停了下來，她覺得很好，她在農村的一個搭車的星期六下午。而在這旅程，她注意到一羣羊，停下車來把......。

　　英語笑話三：太晚了 It's Too Late

A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

一個醫科學生被要求說明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”

一分鐘後，這個學生問教授：“我可以改正我的回答嗎?”教授看看手錶，說：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒鐘以前死了。”

　　英語笑話四：The Fish Net

Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

“你能告訴我魚網是什麼做的嗎，安?” 老師發問道。

A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。”小女孩回答道。

　　英語笑話五：腦移植 A Brain Transplant

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.

"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."

The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.

The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."

一個外科醫生正要作一個腦移植手術。

“你可以從兩個腦子中選一個給你。”醫生告訴病人，“一個心理學家的大腦1000美元，一個政治家的大腦10000美元。

病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎?”他問。

醫生說：“不是好一些，只是沒有用過。”

　　英語笑話六：最醜的孩子

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

一位女士抱着她的寶寶上公交車，司機看到後說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最醜的小孩。”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

女士走到車廂後面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對旁邊的男士說：“司機剛剛羞辱了我。”男士迴應說：“你快上去斥責他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”

　　英語笑話七：我娶了你的姐妹

A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.

一位婦人發現丈夫回家的時候總是爛醉如泥，她決定爲丈夫治好這個毛病。一個萬聖節夜裏，她穿上一套魔鬼戲服，躲在樹後，準備在丈夫返家時攔截他的去路。

When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

當丈夫走近時，她從樹後跳出來，站到他面前，頭上帶着紅色的羊角、身後有長長的尾巴，手中握着鋼叉。

"Who are you?" he asked.

“你是誰?”丈夫問到。

"I'm the Devil!" she responded.

“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。

"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"

“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫說，“我娶了你的姐妹!”