外國趣味幽默故事閱讀

在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面本站小編爲大家帶來外國趣味幽默故事，希望大家喜歡!

外國趣味幽默故事：孩子們天生就是喜劇演員

In response to the request for "kids growing up" stories, here's one told to me many years ago by some friends about their five一year一old daughter Laura. The mother calls it "The Kevin Incident.” The father just says, "Like mother, like daughter.”

我想講一個關於孩子成長的故事，這是很多年以前我的一個朋友告訴我的關於她五歲女兒勞拉的故事。這個母親稱之爲“凱文事件”，而父親卻說“有其母必有其女”。

It seems that Laura came home from Nursery School one day and announced that Kevin had pee一peed in the yard. Since Laura was one of the older children in the Nursery School group, her parents wanted to impress on her that she should try to help the younger children learn right from wrong, so they said, "Well，Laura honey, how big is Kevin?" Whereupon Laura held her two index fingers an inch or so apart and said, "Oh, about this big.”

一天，勞拉從幼兒園回到家，她告訴父母說凱文正在院子裏小便。因爲勞拉在幼兒園的孩子裏算是姐姐，她的父母想要給她樹立一種觀念，那就是她應當幫助年紀比她小的孩子知道什麼是對，什麼是錯。所以他們問道:“勞拉，親愛的，凱文多大?”於是勞拉伸出兩個食指，中間距離大約一英寸左右，然後說:“嗯，有這麼大吧。”

　外國趣味幽默故事：真實的幽默

Harry was in the hospital. He was an old man. Any way there was this young nurse. Every time she came in, she talked to him like a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice" And how are we doing this morning?"

哈里住進了醫院，他是一個老人，負責護理他的是一個年輕的護士。每次她走進病房，都會像對待小孩一樣地和哈里說話。她會用一個施恩者的態度問:“今天上午過的好嗎?”

Well, this is a story of revenge. He had received breakfast, and pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his stand. He had been given a urine bottle to fill. The juice was apple juice. You know where the juice went.

這是哈里對她報復的故事。哈里領到了早飯，從托盤裏把蘋果汁拿下來，放到自己牀前的架子上，然後他把它們全部倒進了尿罐裏。你該明白會是什麼效果吧。

The nurse came in and picked up the urine bottle. She looks at it. "It seems we are a little cloudy today…”At this, he snatches the bottle out of her hand, and saying "Well，I’ll run it through again, and maybe I can filter it better this time.”

過了一會兒那個護士進了病房，她拿起尿罐看了看，說道“今天好像有點渾。”這時，哈里把瓶子從她手裏奪過來，說道:“那我再倒一遍，或許這次我過濾一下效果會好些的。”

外國趣味幽默故事：河上漂流

A man is walking past a travel agents office when he notices a billboard announcing, "4 day cruise down the Murray River $40 all inclusive.”

一個男人路過旅行社時，看到一個廣告欄上面寫着“順着墨累河漂流四天，全部費用只需40美元”。

Impressed by the low price, he races into the shop, slaps $40 onto the counter and announces, "I' m here for the Murray cruise.” Quick as a wink, the travel agent whips out a baseball bat and knocks him unconscious.

面對如此低價的誘惑，他大步走進旅行社把40美元往桌上一拍，然後說:“我報名墨累河之遊。”眨眼間，旅行社的店員抽出一根棒球棍，一下就把那個人打昏了。

When the man wakes, he finds himself tied to a floating log and drifting down the river. After a time, he notices another man in same predicament on the other side of the river.

當那個人醒來之後，發現自己被捆在一個木筏上，正沿着河水往下漂呢。過了一會兒在河的另一邊，他看到一個和他處境一樣的人。

"$40 Murray cruise?" he calls out.

"40美元墨累河之遊?”他喊到。

"Yep!" says the man on the other side.

“是呀!”那人答道。

"I'll bet you we don't even get breakfast,”he yells.

“我打賭我們還沒吃早飯呢。”他喊道。

"Well，”calls the other man, “we did last year.”

“對，”另一個人說，“我們去年吃過了。”