幽默妙趣英語故事閱讀

幽默故事，能讓你在信手翻啓間開懷一笑，得到身心的徹底放鬆、心緒的怦然萌動、情感的欣然釋放。下面本站小編爲大家帶來三則幽默妙趣的英語故事，歡迎大家閱讀!

幽默妙趣英語故事：倒黴的一天

There was a guy in a bar, just looking at his drink.

一個男人坐在酒吧裏，看着自己的酒發呆。

He stayed like that for half an hour.

他這個樣子已經有半個小時了。

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up next to him,took the drink from the guy, and drank it all down.

這時，一個好惹事的卡車司機走到他旁邊，從他手裏一把搶過酒杯，把酒喝了個精光。

The poor man started crying.

可憐的男人大哭起來。

The truck driver said, "Come on man, I was just joking.

卡車司機說，“拜託，哥們，我只是在和你開個玩笑。

Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying"

這樣吧，我再給你買一杯，我實在受不了看着一個大男人哭。”

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life.

“不，不是那樣的。今天是我這輩子最倒黴的日子。

First, I was late getting to my office.

首先，我上班遲到了，

My boss was outrageous, and fired me.

我的老闆是個蠻橫的傢伙，他把我炒了。

When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen.

當我離開辦公樓去取車時，發現我的車被偷了,

The police say they can do nothing.

警察卻說他們對此無能爲力。

I got a cab to return home,and when I left it,

於是我只好打車回家，下了車，

I remembered I left my wallet and credit cards there.

我發現錢包和信用卡都落在了車上，

The cab driver just drove away.

但那個出租車司機已經把車開走了。

When I got home, I found my wife in bed with the gardener.

我回到家，發現我老婆和園丁正在牀上鬼混。

I left home and came to this bar.

我離開家，來到這個酒吧。

And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life,you show up and drink my poison"

而現在，正當我考慮要結束我的生命，你出現了，還喝了我的毒酒。”

幽默妙趣英語故事：寶貝待售

A New Mum took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time.

一個年輕的媽媽頭一回帶着她的寶貝女兒到超市買東西，

She dressed her in pink from head to toe.

她把小寶貝從頭到腳穿上粉紅色的衣服。

At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.

在商場，她把小女孩放在購物車裏，把買來的東西都推在孩子周圍。

At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them.

在付款臺前排隊時，一個小男孩和他媽媽正好排在她們前面。

The child was crying and begging for some special treat.

那個小男孩在哭，看上去在向他媽要着什麼東西，年輕的媽媽想，

He wants some candy or gumand his mother won't let him have any, she thought.

這個小孩一定是要糖果或是口香糖之類的玩意兒，而他媽媽又不給，所以才鬧得這麼厲害。

Then she heard his mother's reply.

然而就在這個時候，她聽到男孩的媽媽一邊回答說，

"No!"she said, looking in her direction.

“不行，”一邊往她的方向看過來，

"You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one"

“你今天不能買一個小妹妹了，那位女士把最後一個買走了!”

幽默妙趣英語故事：小心有狗

As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door.

一名陌生人走進一家鄉間小商店，看到玻璃門上帖着的一個告示牌上寫着，“危險! 小心有狗!”

Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

進去後，他看到一條樣子一點都不兇的老狗趴在收款機旁邊的地板上睡覺。

"Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner.

“這就是大夥都得留神的那隻狗啊?” 陌生人問店主。

"Yep, that's him," came the reply.

“是，就是他”，店主回答。

The stranger couldn't help but be amused.

聽到這個回答， 陌生人覺得很好笑。

"That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

“我覺得那條狗一點都不可怕。 你帖那個告示做什麼?”

"Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

“因爲，” 店主解釋說，“在我帖告示之前， 大夥老被他絆倒。”