又萌又皮的奶奶 請給我來一打

My husband Bill's Grandma Z was quite a character.
我丈夫的奶奶Z是一個很有個性的奶奶。
Over the years
多年來
we grew very close
我們十分親近
and I was actually with her when she died.
她去世的時候，我就在她的病榻前
In Grandma Z's later years
Z奶奶最後的幾年裏
she lived in a nursing home.
她住在一個養老院
Her eyesight was almost gone
她的視力幾乎已經完全消退
and she spent most of her day in a wheelchair.
終日坐在輪椅裏
For the most part,
但大多數時候
her mind was sharp
她的神志都很清明
until the end of her life
直到生命的終結
at age 101.
享年101高壽
We lived out of state for several years
我們在外地住了好幾年
and didn't see her all that often.
並不能經常看到她
However,
可是
when we did,
每次見面
she always brought a smile to my face.
她總會讓我臉上出現開心的笑容
Grandma had her way of saying things
她有自己獨特的說話方式
that would crack me up.
常讓我捧腹大笑
On one of our visits,
一次我們去拜訪她的時候
she leaned forward in her chair
她從椅子裏傾身過來
and said,
對我說
"Kay, let me feel your legs."
Kay,讓我摸摸你的腿
Knowing Grandma
我素來知道奶奶的心性
I shouldn't have been surprised,
本不應該驚訝
but I was.
但那次我卻很驚訝
"Are you kidding?
你是在捉弄我嗎
What for and why?"
你想做什麼？爲什麼要摸我的腿？
was all I could think to say.
這是我唯一能想到說的話
Grandma didn't explain,
奶奶沒有解釋
but insisted,
但卻堅持這樣做
so I let her feel my legs.
於是我讓她摸了我的腿
After giving each leg a few squeezes
她在我兩條腿上都捏了幾下
she sat back in her wheelchair.
然後坐回了輪椅
In a very matter of fact way
擺出一副實事求是的模樣
she announced,
她宣告說
"Kay, you're getting flabby!
Kay，你長胖了
You know,
你知道
I don't tell everybody this."
我並不是對每個人都會這麼說的
I didn't know quite what to think.
我當時腦中一片茫然
Should I be happy
我應該高興嗎
she had selected, just me,
她選擇了我，僅僅我一個人
to tell this to?
來說這番話
If that wasn't bad enough
如果你覺得這還不算太糟
Grandma went on.
奶奶還有話要說
Now she wanted to know how much I weighed.
接着她又問我的體重
I thought I'd just tease with her
我想我只用和她打趣就行了
so I joked that
於是便開玩笑說
I wasn't about to answer that question.
我不打算回答這個問題
Grandma was quiet for a moment.
奶奶沉默了一會兒
Then trying to catch me off guard
接着卻想趁其不備
she continued,
於是又說到
"I weigh 111 right now.
我現在有111磅重了
Where do you come in around that number?"
你跟我的體重差了多少
I laughed
我大笑
and let her know
告訴她
I knew she was trying to trick me
我知道她在試圖捉弄我
into telling her my weight
讓我交代自己的體重
and it wasn't going to work!
這對我沒用
I weighed about 103 at the time.
那時我只有103磅重
Certainly not a heavy duty!
一點也不胖
Maybe
或許
I should have just ignored Grandma's "flabby" comment,
我應該直接忽略奶奶說我“長胖”了
but I didn't.
但我卻沒有
I decided to join a fitness club
我決定加入一個瘦身俱樂部
after we returned home.
一回家就這麼幹
I went faithfully
我滿懷虔誠的去了
and had a fun time exercising with the girls.
抓緊一切時間和俱樂部裏的女孩們一起鍛鍊
Plus,
不僅如此
I made some life long friends in the process.
在此過程中，我還結交了一些終身的朋友
The next summer
第二年夏天
we were back at the nursing home
我們又來到養老院
visiting Grandma.
來拜訪奶奶
After giving her a hug
我擁抱了她
I announced,
並且宣佈
"Hey Grandma
嘿奶奶
I joined a fitness club!
我參加了一個健身俱樂部
Don't you want to feel my legs?"
你想不想摸摸我腿上的肉
With a tone,
拿腔拿調的
only Grandma would use she gasped,
這是奶奶專有的調侃人的腔調
"Heaven's no,
她說，“老天，我不想那麼做
”why would I?"
爲什麼我要做這種事
I laughed
我大笑
and continued,
又說
"Well,
好吧
last time we were here
上次我們來這兒的時候
you wanted to feel my legs
你想要摸我的腿
and you actually said,
你還對我說
"Kay, you're getting flabby!"
Kay，你長胖了
after feeling them.
你摸到了我腿上的肉
I'll never forget Grandma's response.
我永遠不會忘記奶奶對我的回答
In a tone of disbelief,
她嗤之以鼻
she scoffed ,
哂笑說
"Flabby, flabby??
長胖？長胖？
That word is not even in my vocabulary!"
我的字典里根本沒有這個詞！